I was probably pointed to bitches gotta eat by The Toast or maybe Jezebel. It is a hilarious, TMI work of art, blog-wise. I was thinking of buying Samantha Irby's book because I wanted to help her pay for her dental care (detailed in excruciating, horrifying fashion on b.g.e.), but then I came across it at what I'm assuming was the publisher's booth at ALA Annual. I grabbed it and gasped all 'OMG I WAS TOTALLY THINKING OF BUYING THIS!!!' and the nice chatty girl staffing the booth let me have it for free if I would promise to review the book on social media. So here is my review, such as it is.
Meaty is basically bitches gotta eat in book form. If you enjoy her blog and her style of writing (sadly no different colored fonts in the book tho, but plenty of all caps and bolding), then you'll enjoy this book. If you are easily horrified by extremely candid descriptions of bathroom issues and ~personal relationships~, ifyouknowwhatImean, then this book is not for you. The chapters about her parents are heartbreaking. A lot of the stuff about being disgusted with dudes and dating and wanting to forgo all that and just eat snacks while watching TV in a Snuggie really resonated with me (being a social hermit, holla). Here is what I wrote on LibraryThing:
Hilarious and heartbreaking (but mostly hilarious). Profane, gross, TMI,
an excellent way to spend the afternoon. If you've read and like her
blog than you'll enjoy this book too. I loved the chance to get inside
Samantha Irby's head and see how she thinks about things and some of the
experiences that made her who she is.
Here is one of my favorite quotes:
"I'm tired of dicking around with stunted adolescents. There can only be one of those in my life and that is me, homie."
Burning Girls by Veronica Schanoes
Jewish mythology fantasy that is very sad but sooooo good. It's also a fairytale retelling of Rumpelstiltskin (highlight to see the spoiler). I loved this even though it didn't have a happy ending. Go get it, it's still free!
Still slowly making my way through Uppity Women of Medieval Times by Vicki Leon. It's cool and I'm learning about so many kickass ladies from history, but her tone is a bit flippant and gimmicky at times (saying that a politically ambitious Chinese concubine had a rival Shanghaied, for instance. No.). Still recommended.
I've been wanting to do this exegesis of “All About The Bass” ever since it first came out, which was ages ago, but this blog has basically been Procrastination Central since its inception so whatever. I love this song, but I have issues with it.
Yeah it’s pretty clear
I ain’t no size two
But I can shake it shake it
Like I’m supposed to do
I’m glad your not being a size two doesn't keep you from shaking it, because it shouldn't (full disclosure: I danced to this song like a mad fool at my cousin’s wedding). But you’re “supposed to”? Why, because you’re a larger lady? Because you’re a lady in general? Who told you you’re supposed to shake it? Why can’t you just shake it because you want to?
I’m not going to criticize the grammar (double negatives, etc.) used throughout the song because it is standard in African American Vernacular English (AAVE). What I have an issue with is that the singer, Meghan Trainor, is as white and blond as they come and is using AAVE in the first place. I was disappointed when I saw the music video and learned she is white. Cognitive dissonance, linguistic cultural appropriation. AAVE has entered the mainstream (aka white) cultural consciousness, though, so am I being oversensitive? Is it now ok for white people to use it in songs? I'm feeling the answer to both of those questions is no. I don’t know very much about Meghan Trainor so I don't know if her background is inner-city or urban and if she grew up speaking AAVE. Her music video is a preppy pastel retro wonderland, so I rather doubt it. I wish I could remember the source of this quote: "It is profitable to be black or gay as long as you're neither."
‘Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase
All the right junk in all the right places
Well. I kind of hate that use of boom boom, as well as the stale platitude that males lust after women’s bodies. Putting the accuracy of that mentality aside, it shouldn't be just blindly accepted as a fact of life. We should expect better from men and boys.
Also, what about people who have all the wrong junk in all the right places, or all the right junk in all the wrong places, or all the wrong junk in all the wrong places (me)? What constitutes right and wrong, in terms of junk and its placement? Just kidding, I know. Women are supposed to look like Jessica Rabbit or Beyonce.
I see the magazines working that Photoshop
We know that shit ain't real
Come on now make it stop
If you've got beauty beauty
Just raise ‘em up
‘Cause every inch of you is perfect
From the bottom to the top
YAASSSSSS. This makes the song for me.
Yeah my mama she told me don’t worry about your size
Aww, that’s nice. My mama has told me to exercise more and not eat so much in order to lose weight since I was a teenager.
She said boys like a little more booty to hold at night
But at least she never made males’ opinions or desires the yardstick for what my body should look like. My health is the reason she tells me what she does. That’s vastly more important than making males desire me. I’m glad she never taught me anything so damaging.
Also, are there really (white) mothers out there sincerely using ‘booty’? That’s horrifying.
You know I won’t be no stick figure silicone Barbie doll
So if that’s what you’re into then go ahead and move along
YES PREACH IT.
Then in the chorus she goes into how she’s “all about that bass, no treble”, which I think is supposed to signify bigness vs. skinnyness? idk. This is not clearly explained and inaccurate musically because the song’s score includes a treble clef. It kind of has to.
Hey I’m bringing booty back
Go ahead and tell them skinny bitches that
Girl, please. Ain’t no white girl bringing booty back (oh no I’m doing it too. I’M PART OF THE PROBLEM). If anyone brought booty back it was Beyonce or JLo way back in the nineties, not some white girl who has only just become famous because of this song.
Also it’s not very nice to address all thin women as skinny bitches. They can’t all possibly be bitches. This brings up an interesting point, though: when you have a group of people who have historically been oppressed or seen as less than, they are naturally going to feel and express resentment towards the oppressors/dominant group/group who they are constantly being compared to unfavorably. When the oppressed group rejects the acceptable mold and breaks free from trying to conform or be conformed to it, the pendulum will swing in the opposite direction (i.e., the resentment and bitterness against skinny bitches or whites or whoever). This is not as bad as the original bias or racism and is a result of the injustice. It is very easy to want to be like “f*ck skinny bitches” like Nicki Minaj, but the skinny girls aren't the issue. It’s that the diversity of body sizes isn't accepted with all types of bodies being seen as equally beautiful, and that instead only one type is held up as acceptable (the thin supermodel body type). Remember, however, that one of the steps of grieving is anger.
No I’m just playing I know you think you’re fat
But I’m here to tell you
Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top
This is what keeps this song from being skinnybashing, as poorly skilled in reading comprehension and culturally unaware Natalia Kills thought. While most women have body image issues due to this society and its messages, not all women think they’re too fat. There are women and girls who wish they weren't so thin, who wish they had curves instead of being shaped like a tongue depressor. But they too are perfect, just as bigger women and girls are.
Here’s the music video, which I mostly like (just like the song!). I do wish the whole thing were just that Polynesian/Pacific Islander fellow doing his thing, because, to quote a YouTube commentator, he is a “dancing god”. I like the palette/look, the diversity of the people (always a bit off to have white singers with backup dancers who are WOC, though) and that the thin girl in the worrisome plastic wrap corset loosens up and dances friendly-like with the others at the end. I want almost everything Meghan Trainor wears in this video.
I don’t think I have ever been as hungry for anything as Meghan Trainor is for fame. Look at her face. It’s like Rachel Berry from Glee but more. That woman would do anything. It scares me a bit.
Also here is my favorite cover (1940s jazz retro style). That girl’s voice! And she plays the upright bass. Visual and auditory puns, y’all.
So I had some old pieces of cinnamon swirl bread (the heels of the loaf, which I don't typically like eating) and decided to pull a Nigella and make bread pudding for dinner. I used this recipe but quartered it, since the loaf pan I used is like 3 by 6 inches and the recipe was for an 8x8 inch pan.
Ingredients:
2 slices cinnamon swirl bread (old), torn into small pieces
melted butter (I actually forgot to quarter this so it came out really buttery and delicious)
1 egg
1/4 cup milk (this should have been a 1/2 cup. I used coconut almond milk, which tasted fine)
3 tablespoons white sugar
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
I put the pieces of bread in the pan, melted the butter and poured it over them, then combined the egg, milk, sugar and cinnamon and poured that in. Then I baked it at 350 for about 20 minutes or so (I'm not sure of the right time since I kept checking it every 5 minutes, paranoid it would burn).
I attended the American Library Association's Annual Conference this year in Las Vegas. It was such a great experience. I have these pictures in my phone that have been sitting there for months so I thought I'd post them even though this happened ages ago. Procrastination blog '14
This is a list of all the events, panels and speakers I wanted to go to or thought sounded interesting. Let's pause to give a mighty guffaw at my naivete. Oh you sweet summer child.
This is the other side of the paper: a list of the exhibits I wanted to visit. I did see most of them.
There is so much free stuff at ALA Annual, you guys. I took this aqua backpack that folds up into a little bag "just in case" and I definitely used it. In this pic I'm carrying the backpack (which has rolled-up posters stuck into the mesh water bottle holder pockets), my "trust me, I'm a librarian" tote because duh, and a tote from a vendor. I think I picked up at least one more before ALA Annual ended. I must have been carrying like 30 pounds. This picture is especially blurry because I took it in the mirrored walls of the Bally's hotel elevator and the door opened right as I took this picture and I thought someone was coming in. You can't really tell but I looked super cute that day. Also pictured: the free pins I got on my nametag lanyard.
I got so many free Advanced Reader's Copy books the strap of my (admittedly cheap) official ALAAC messenger bag I got upon registration ripped right out. I was able to trade it in for a new one, thankfully.
In the exhibits hall were booths of vendors, some of which had displays and furniture to try to tempt librarians into making purchases. I fell in love with this awesome-looking chair:
Look at it!! It's plush grey and red quilted felt, super comfy to sit in, swiveled, its design made you feel enveloped in your own cozy private little space, and the tube roof allowed natural light in!!! Perfect for reading.
I love you, chair. I will never forget you.
This is one of the many rad temporary tattoos I got from the 2015 Summer Reading Program preview. I love it. It has sadly worn off long ago, although I got another one I can put on at any time.
Anyway Las Vegas is beyond, you guys. This Vatican-esque ridiculousness was taken in the lobby of a mall. Really.
In fact it was this mall that had an amazing rare books store. I saw
first American editions of some of the Chronicles of Narnia books.
My mom took more pictures (including ones of me in the Hershey's and M&M's stores), but that may or may not be a post for another time.
My mom came in my room after working this morning, took one look at me and said, "You look like you've accomplished a lot today." I was like YEAH I DID. Here is a list of today's accomplishments:
I slept in until after 10 am. I have to get up at 7:30 for work so this is a BOON.
I finished the book I was reading (this will probly be written about in a separate post as there are actually several [well, 3] books I was reading at one time).
I Facebooked and read some articles on the Internet.
I entered for some Disney giveaway.
I bought this purple P&P shirt I've been eyeing forever from Out of Print since they're having a sitewide 30% off sale right now!
I haven't yet but I'm going to download the free ebook of Sherman Alexie's The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven, which I got from Open Road at ALA Annual last weekend.
I am not a sports person but I make an exception for the World Cup, because futbol. By this I mean I actually pay attention to the game if I'm near someone who has the TV turned to it, and I check online to see who's won. These guidelines, for lack of a better word, are how I follow the World Cup.
I only care about Mexico. And the US. If these two ever play each other I will root for Mexico, because futbol is way more important to Mexicans than soccer is to Americans.
If two countries who are not these two are playing, I root for the Latino/Hispanic team. If they're both Latino, I root for the one I have the closest ties to. For instance, in the Spain/Chile game I was slightly pleased to see Chile won because I have some cousins who are half-Chilean.
If neither country is Hispanic I root for the country I have the closest ties to. In Japan/Greece, I wanted Greece to win because I have an aunt by marriage who is Greek.
At the end of the day I don't lose much sleep over who wins. Like I said, I only care about Mexico. And the US.
I haven't posted anything in a while, but this time it's for a good reason: I got a new job! I'm now the librarian of a health sciences university. I've been working here since May and I really like it. Here are a couple random things I like about my new job:
I don't have a patterned sweater-vest like that though (yet). My mom bought me this off Amazon. I love it and of course changed all my social media profile pics to it.
My dad wants to eat a bolillo so he gets me one too, disregarding what I say. I cut up the half he gives me and put half the Big Frank and cheese omelet he made me into it, adding a prosage sausage patty and some homemade guacamole to make a sort of vegetarian Egg McMuffin. "Wow," my dad says judgmentally, spooning more guacamole onto his spinach/mushroom/cheese/onion/Big Frank omelet. Then he makes me split a banana with him.
My parents and I drove up to the Bay area to see my brother for his birthday this last weekend, and I was able to get some reading in since my parents don't trust my driving and would rather do it themselves. I read:
-Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke: I had actually started this back in like October but stopped reading it because of reasons (length and laziness, mainly. It's the size of a latter Potter). JS&MN is an alternate history of England where magic is possible. It's a story of a prophecy and two magicians and their friends/acquaintances and disagreements and such, all told in the style of Jane Austen (genteel and excellently shade-throwing). It has tons of magical history and stories and footnotes (one of my favorite things in books) and I adored it. 4.99999/5 stars, only because one villain didn't get a harsh enough comeuppance and also one major enchantment should have dissolved when its caster died but whatever. They're going to do a miniseries of it and I can't wait.
-Diary of a Wimpy Kid: After JS&MN I wanted something completely different in tone, plus I had downloaded this from the iBookstore because it was free. It was funny and I can see why it's a kids bestseller. I'd read a later one that was my younger cousin's and found it hilarious, and if this series had come out when my younger brother was a kid he would have eaten them up. 3.5/5 stars, because of character meanness.
-Leave No Stone Unturned (Lexie Starr Series #1) by Jeanne Glidewell: This was the weakest of the bunch. It was a Nook blog Free Fridays pick and the protagonist works in a library, so I downloaded it to my Nook app. Firstly, I was under the impression she was a librarian, and she's not. A part-time library volunteer is not the same thing as a librarian (not knocking them. Library volunteers rock and anyway I used to be one myself). Apart from a key piece of information being discovered while Lexie Starr was helping a patron do research on microfilm of newspapers (do library volunteers even do that?), the library thing was pretty much nonexistent. Deliver on your hook! I was disappointed. Secondly, the writing was just... not good. Tons of telling and little showing, so much clunkiness, Mary Sue-ness, too-perfect and/or too-quirky characters that never really felt like real people, unnecessary details in a misguided attempt to flesh out characters and scenes, et cetera and so on. I would have forgiven the lack of librariana if the writing hadn't been so No. If I'm getting distracted from your story by your ham-fisted writing, you're not doing it right. And the stupid and weird romance thing! I can't even get into it because I could write a whole ranty blog post about it (I'll spare you), but it was just weird and unbelievable and it happened way too fast. The love interest was just too perfect to be true. Also, there was something just really off to me about having one of the main baddies/suspects be a gay tattooed, pierced, drug addicted male stripper with daddy issues. And as half Native American, he was the only person of color in the book! Very negative. Oh yeah, and Lexie immediately starts impersonating officers and exterminators and stuff to get info, and her love interest immediately and without reservations starts doing it with her too! The whole time I'm reading this I'm thinking "this woman is a published author. WHY." And then I felt simultaneously motivated (if she gets published with that kind of writing then I def should be able to) and disillusioned (she sucks and got published and I probably suck less but can't find the nerve to write :/). The mystery was semi-passable, I guess. 1/5 stars.
An admission ticket to see Sissinghurst Castle, inside a souvenir booklet for said castle. Easy to see how this one came about.
It's been a while since I took these but I think they're the same thing and were found in the same book? I found this Shakespeare Memorial Window fascinating. The other one is of the Shakespeare monument, which shows the Bard in sassy repose.
This is one of the biggest, loveliest old books I've ever seen and held. It's The Golden Treasury of Poetry and Prose, edited by Francis F. Browne and with an introduction by Richard Henry Stoddard (1883). It's probably a foot wide, a bit longer than that long and about 3-4 inches thick. And it has wonderful illustrations/engravings. Here are the pictures I took of it:
The gold parts are metallic and shiny.
These are the authors. I think the signatures are pictures of their handwriting rather than actual physical autographs. Also, Francis F. Browne can get it. I'm totally submitting him to My Daguerreotype Boyfriend.
BOOKS.
I cannot think the glorious world of mind,
Embalmed in books, which I can only see
In patches, though I read my moments blind
Is to be lost to me.
I have a thought that, as we live elsewhere,
So will those dear creations of the brain;
That what I lose unread, I'll find, and there
Take up my joy again.
O then the bliss of blisses, to be freed
From all the wants by which the world is driven,
With liberty, and endless time to read
The libraries of Heaven!
~Robert Leighton
