Expensive makeup that sucks

all hail Freckle

With high-end makeup, the packaging is almost always nicer, but the quality isn't always better. Prestige brand eyeliners are worse than drugstore brand eyeliners. I have purchased eyeliner pencils from Buxum and Urban Decay, and I hate them.

• They are too thick/wide and do not come to a point when sharpened
• they come off onto my fingers when I touch my eyes despite longevity claims
• the supposedly long-wearing eyeliners migrate to my undereyes regardless of my air conditioned climate, giving me raccoon eyes 
• despite this they are EXTREMELY difficult to remove with most makeup wipes and removers, forcing me to scrub at my delicate eye skin
• The Buxom eyeliner is a dry and thick consistency and pulls on my eyelids
• The UD pencils do glide on but irritate my eyes when I use them on the waterline. What is the purpose of a so-called 24/7 long-wearing waterproof eyeliner pencil that cannot be used on the waterline????? 

These disappointments cost $17 and $22 each, respectively. The UD pencils were in a set that was on sale, but still.

I've also used a mini size of the Marc Jacobs Highliner Gel Eye Crayon (full size $25), which was probably the worst eyeliner I've ever used. It had all of the same problems as listed above, plus it wouldn't even do a complete line on my eyelid because it was so dry and patchy. You could argue that the full size would be better quality, but mini sizes of prestige makeup items are given away as gifts with purchases in order to get you to fall in love with them and buy the full-sized product, so I don't think that argument holds up. I had the exact same issues with the terrible mini IT Cosmetics' No-Tug Waterproof Anti-Aging Gel Eyeliner ($22 full size). It definitely tugged, and that probably made my eyes age.

My Rimmel kohl/scandaleyes eyeliners, which are like $5, glide on like a dream and stay fairly well. So do Colourpop's eyeliner pencils, which are $5.50.

I've also bought a Too Faced liquid eyeliner marker, which was like $17, and it:

• was extremely watery 
• lacked almost all pigment
• dried up in the tube incredibly soon

My Physicians Formula liquid eyeliner pen, however, is like $11 and is so much better (it even has a brush tip!).

While it worked fine, I found that IT Cosmetics' "universal" brow pencil ($24 full size) was too grey and light for my dark brown eyebrows. For that, you're better off using one of Nyx or L.A. Girl or e.l.f.'s eyebrow pencils, which you can get to match your eyebrow color and only pay $3-10.

I follow beauty vloggers, and I've heard several of them rave about Ofra Cosmetics liquid lipsticks and how long-lasting they were. Ulta had a sale once, so I bought a couple.

• They did not dry down, despite being a thin formula and being given plenty of time. 
• They disappeared at the first touch of food or drink. I'm talking completely disappearing when I drank some water, no ring around the lips even. It was as if it had never been applied.
• They transferred on my fingers, cup, etc.
• They did not last, at all. 

They were $18 full price, and I bought them for $9 on sale!! I returned them. So disappointing, since the colors were gorgeous.

I was also disappointed at Stila's "stay all day" liquid lipstick ($22). I put it over lipliner and it gave me ring-around-the-lips after eating. I tried it alone and it still didn't last through food.

It was the same with Kaja's "high-pigment lip stain" ($18), which was more of a moussey liquid lipstick. I put it on and went to a potluck 15 minutes later, and it was gone. It didn't even stain my lips. It's supposed to be matte, but it wasn't really that either.

The Urban Decay Vice liquid lipstick in the shade Purgatory was patchy, drying and uncomfortable. Wet N Wild has a liquid lipstick in a similar dark metallic burgundy shade, and even if it's just as bad, it's only $5.

If it's not going to be long-lasting and will come off anyway, I recommend Colourpop's liquid lipsticks ($6 or so) or Nyx's liquid lipsticks ($5-9). Heck, Wet N Wild and e.l.f. have liquid lipsticks and they're like $5 too. There are a few drugstore brands that have actual long-wearing liquid lipsticks, such as CoverGirl and Maybelline. These come with special lip balms or clear glosses to extend the liquid lipstick's life, and are usually around $10.

Have you noticed that high-end lipsticks' bullets are shorter than drugstore lipsticks? I haven't been able to compare every single brand out there, but my Too Faced and Bésame Cosmetics lipsticks' ($17-25) bullets are shorter than my Wet N Wild and Essence lipsticks ($1-5).

Physicians Formula is a drugstore brand, but its Murumuru Butter Blushes are expensive ($13). I tried the lightest shade, which was a lovely natural soft pink in the pan, and it was so pale it wouldn't show up on me. It wasn't shimmery enough to use as a highlighter, either. What a disappointment. The shimmery pink blush I bought from e.l.f., however, is $3 and looks great. To be fair, I have also bought a pale pink shimmery blush from e.l.f. before that was too pale to be a blush and not shimmery enough to be a highlighter, but the disappointment was less because I only paid $1.

Bobbi Brown's Retouching Face Pencil ($35!!), which was clearly made to be used as a highlighter, was very dry and chunky-glittery, and didn't look good on the face. Wet N Wild and e.l.f. have some very nice and cheap highlighter sticks/crayons that glow and shimmer beautifully.

It's like some lady said on the internet, at the end of the day it all goes down the drain (as you wash your face), so you might as well save your money.

Book review: The Second Mrs. Giaconda by E.L. Konigsburg

[Spoilers throughout because this is an old story about an older event and I don't care]

E.L. Konigsburg is the author of From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankenweiler (I think that's the title; I'm not bothering to look up the spelling), which I love. I've read a couple of her other books and really like her voice/writing style. I was excited about this one because it's her take on why a thieving apprentice might have been important to Leonardo da Vinci and why LdV might have painted an unknown merchant's second wife when he had all the big names in Italy begging him for a portrait.

Clearly she loves the Italian Renaissance era and finds it fascinating, as this is the second (as far as I know) of her books that deals with a secret behind a beautiful artwork by a teenage mutant ninja turtle  Master from that genre/era. However, I was disappointed in this book. The premise was interesting, and while I feel that the idea that Salai (the aforementioned apprentice) was Leonardo's foil and basically allowed him to be carefree and daring vicariously through him, as well as Salai being in love with the duchess, had a lot of promise, ELK basically did nothing with these ideas. There was a lot of description and scenebuilding, everything that ELK is good at, but there was no plot. No one really had anything to lose (although the duchess dies and it's sad because everyone liked her and she's the sole rounded female character). There were no stakes. No one really changed much at the end of the novel. It just was kind of dissatisfying.

Salai as the protagonist is almost entirely unlikeable. He has no moral scruples whatsoever and is completely baldfaced about it, with no negative repercussions to anything he does. The tone of the book didn't match with Salai's tone and vocabulary, which was weirdly slangy in a 20th century way. Despite the title, the subject of the Mona Lisa literally enters the book about three pages from the end. According to this book, Leonardo painted the portrait of this second wife of a nobody merchant because Salai saw that she was basically who the duchess would have been had she lived, and he talked Leonardo into doing it. Yep. Freaking Salai. I don't hate this book, but I feel annoyed that ELK didn't turn it into what it could have been. This could have been really something. It's like you had all the necessary ingredients to make a really good cake, but instead you have a weird flat boring doughy substance that is edible and not that bad but it makes you mad because you could've had delicious cake! 3/5 stars probably