November Reads

 I'm so behind on book reviews lol

 

The Hollow by Agatha Christie - 3 ½ stars

This is another Hercule Poirot mystery that I picked up from the thrift store, and like all the other AG mysteries I've read, it's well-written and interesting. You can read the summary here.  Just about everyone in the story, who are all related or friends, is a suspect, and I didn't guess who the killer was. Besides our beloved M. Poirot, the most fleshed-out characters were the dead man's wife and mistress. The mistress (I've forgotten all their names, of course) is an artist, and it was really interesting to read about how the muse would overtake her and she'd walk around everywhere hunting for the right inspiration until she found it and could create the art she needed to. The wife, a dim woman who worships her husband, is a rather pitiable figure. There's a scene where she and the children are sitting at the table waiting for her husband to arrive, and the food is getting cold, but she's stuck in decision paralysis because if she sends the food back to be warmed right before her husband arrives, he'll be mad and scold her for making him wait, but if she doesn't send the food back he'll be mad and scold her for it being cold. That is such a realistic portrayal of decision paralysis and anxiety. I found the older lady interesting, with her speed-of-light thought process that is definitely ADHD. Poirot obviously solves the murder but it's sad. Still, I enjoyed reading this. The characterization is strong in this one, even for characters who don't come into the story much. 3 ½ stars, 1 chili pepper as there's mentions of sex but no scenes. Trigger warnings: murder, firearms, infidelity, misogyny and sexism, controlling and verbally abusive relationship, antisemitic depiction/description of Jewish character, classism

A Duke She Can't Refuse by Gemma Blackwood - 3 ½ stars

This was a free ebook I downloaded from Nook. Book summary here  It's got several romance novel tropes: the nobility love interest (duke, obvs. You'd think no other types of men exist in Regency romance novels except nobility ones), forced/fake engagement, "don't fall in love with me" but of course they do, wallflower/bluestocking doesn't want to marry, etc. This book also has a mystery that was quite interesting, with a couple of thrilling rescues. It's actually a no-spice romance, which I didn't realize until end the because I enjoyed the book so much that I didn't notice. The sexual attraction, "no we mustn't" and kissing is still there though. This, unsurprisingly, is the first of a series; I'd be willing to read the rest, preferably free or from the library. 3 ½ stars, 1 chili pepper for the kissing and lusting. Trigger warnings: young woman is kidnapped and held at gunpoint, a character falls out of a window and dies (off-page/past), house fire/arson, grief, I think someone cuts their hand and bleeds?

 

The Care and Feeding of Waspish Widows by Olivia Waite - 3 ½ stars

This is a sapphic Regency romance novel, so of course I put it on my to-read list. The ebook went on sale for $1.99 and I snapped it up. Book summary here  I like that the protagonists are both women in their 40s and have their own careers that they enjoy and are fulfilled by. Type-A Agatha runs a printing business and gentle Penelope is a beekeeper. They meet because a swarm of bees creates a colony inside Agatha's warehouse, and are attracted to each other. Agatha is a widow (although not the waspish one in the book) and Penelope is in a lavender marriage to her brother's partner. This keeps them apart initially as Agatha thinks it's a real marriage (well, it is legally but you know what I mean) and tries to keep her distance, and Penelope sees this as lack of interest. Penelope reads butch/masc as she wears trousers 90% of the time because of the bees and has short hair. There are several other queer people in this book, which I really liked. I also learned a lot about Regency beekeeping practices. There's a lot of conflict with the Lady of the village and her brother the vicar, who together rule the village with an iron fist and attempt to impose their will (touted as "morality" rules) on the townspeople and especially Penelope and her queer friends and family members. They fight back, of course; there's surprisingly a lot of political activism in this book. The Queen Caroline Affair comes up a lot; I had never heard about it but it needs to be made into a period drama. I know I only gave it 3 ½ stars, but I really enjoyed this book and will definitely check out Olivia Waite's other books. 4 chili peppers (this is definitely a spicy book). Trigger warnings: homophobia, religious homophobia, corrupt religious leader, bee killings mentioned, bee cruelty/endangerment, grief, infidelity mentions

Aesthetics moodboard for TC&KoWW

Book Review: Northranger by Rey Terciero and Bre Indigo

Cade has always loved to escape into the world of a good horror movie. After all, horror movies are scary—but to Cade, a closeted queer Latino teen growing up in rural Texas—real life can be way scarier.

When Cade is sent to spend the summer working as a ranch hand to help earn extra money for his family, he is horrified. Cade hates everything about the ranch, from the early mornings to the mountains of horse poop he has to clean up. The only silver lining is the company of the two teens who live there—in particular, the ruggedly handsome and enigmatic Henry.

But as unexpected sparks begin to fly between Cade and Henry, things get… complicated. Henry is reluctant to share the details of his mother’s death, and Cade begins to wonder what else he might be hiding. 

I had heard about this book on (surprise, surprise) Bookstagram and immediately added it to my to-read list. A gay Jane Austen retelling starring a latino character? Hell yeah, this was made for me. I bought this from a local-ish comic book store booth at my local pride.

This graphic novel retelling of the usually overlooked Northanger Abbey follows its source material pretty closely. Gothic novel fan Catherine is now horror movie-obsessed Cade, who feels alienated from his family and community for being gay. The book summary pretty clearly lays out how he feels about having to work at the ranch; Cade, who already sticks out for being latino in a rural, white area, also hides his gay identity for obvious reasons. This is difficult because he's falling for sweet and hunky Henry (same first name as Northanger Abbey's love interest). Henry Tilney is one of my favorite Austen leading men because he's so witty and funny; Northranger!Henry is nice but not that funny, probably because it's draining to be a closeted gay Christian in the South who's endured familial loss. Due to (mostly unintentional) eavesdropping and ominous accusations made by a disgruntled farm hand, Cade gets the idea that something terrible happened at Henry's family's lake house, maybe even murder. Is Cade living in a horror movie? Could he be falling in love with a serial killer?? If you've read Northanger Abbey, you know where that line of thinking is going, but it's a wild ride anyway. 

This is a fantastic book, both as a Northanger Abbey adaptation and as an exploration of being gay and closeted in the heteronormative, Christian South. I can't say I enjoyed the book, as it's always harrowing to read about homophobia, racism and xenophobia, plus I'm a wuss when it comes to scary stories, but I'm so glad I bought and read it. 

Score: 4 out of 5 stars
Spice score: 0.5 out of 5 chilies 🌶 (just kissing)
Read in: September 19
From: 4 Color Fantasies pride booth
Status: keeping for now

Aesthetics moodboard for Northranger 

Representation: gay, second/third generation Hispanic/Latino American (I think Cade is Mexican American?), anxiety (not explicitly stated), step-/blended family, queer Christian

Trigger warnings: homophobia, racism, ethnic/racial slurs, xenophobia, sexism, alcoholism, suicide (voluntary euthanasia), terminal illness, cancer, conversion therapy mention, being closeted, horror/suspense themes, mental illness, animal abuse, family struggling financially, alcoholic character is racist & homophobic antagonist (demonization of alcoholism)

Ace Week books

I read these books back to back at the end of Ace Week, which is the third week of October. 

 

Loveless by Alice Oseman

This is one of the big ace books that are touted around bookstagram. I'd bought it at Target during a sale as I loved the Heartstopper show on Netflix, which is an adaptation of Oseman's series of the same name. This book has a very similar feel as the show, and it's set in the same universe (the characters go to the same high schools as the Heartstopper characters). Georgia starts university and struggles with society's and her expectations of finding and wanting love and sex. (More expanded summary) The way she's an introvert and loves fictional love and fanfiction but finds herself recoiling when faced with the prospect of PDA is so relatable. Some of her thoughts and decision-making during dating mirrors my own. Her confusion and despair were sad to read about. She also deals with friend drama, some of which she contributes to. Pip, James, Rooney and Sunil are mostly well-rounded, dynamic characters and I enjoyed spending time with them as well. Pip, a butch latina, and Sunil, Georgia's college and asexuality mentor and beautiful cinnamon roll (too good for this world, too pure) are my favorites. The love they all have for each other warmed my heart. Friendship love truly is so important. I wish I had had this book when I was in high school or college. 

4.5 out of 5 stars, 2 out of 5 chili peppers. Keeping. 

Aesthetics moodboard for Loveless

Representation: asexual, aromantic, aroace, pansexual, lesbian, Hispanic/Latine British, femme, butch/masc, South Asian British, gay (homoromantic), nonbinary, character with multiple pronouns, depression, anxiety (I don't remember if it's specifically mentioned but Georgia has it)

Trigger warnings: binge drinking, alcohol, partying, sex, depression, past toxic & controlling relationships, inferred past rape, anxiety, fire/burn accidents & minor injuries, low self-esteem, a character uses sex to make herself feel better/wanted

How to Be Ace: A Memoir of Growing Up Asexual by Rebecca Burgess

I'd seen this book around ace bookstagram a lot too before finding it at Big Gay Comic's booth at my local Pride. Rebecca Burgess writes about their experiences growing up uninterested in crushes and dating, and is in distress about being abnormal and broken, etc. due to society's messages. They find out about asexuality and write about their struggles getting others to accept and understand them, as well as dealing with anxiety and OCD. Society's pressure about dating and having sex as markers of adulthood are dwelled on a lot in this book. (Read the book summary here) Rebecca tries dating, but they hate the physical contact that is expected. You can't help but to root for Burgess as they come to understand and accept themself and find a relationship that works for them. There are a lot of similar themes to Loveless, like the aforementioned topics as well as going through college and making friends. Maybe I shouldn't have read these two books back to back in order to fully appreciate the differences, but oh well. I loved the Good Omens shout-out in this book; Burgess says they see their own asexual relationship reflected in Aziraphale's and Crowley's. I think the intended audience for this book is young adult and older, based on the mentions of sex. The drawing style is a very 'childish' style and makes the book seem younger than it is. The page where it depicts various ace approaches to sex actually has illustrations of couples engaging in these activities, and with the cutesy cartoony drawing style it kind of takes you aback. Burgess does not, as far as I can tell, also identify as aromantic, but I think it applies as they have no interest in other people or dating for a long time (and they seem to only date people they like as friends). Overall, this was a valuable book and I'm glad I read it. This is also a book I wish I'd had in high school.

4 out of 5 stars, 3 out of 5 chili peppers due to the sex mentions/illustrations. Keeping for now.

Representation: asexual, aromantic in the beginning at least, anxiety, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, sapphic relationship, possible biromanticism, protagonist is diagnosed with endometriosis towards the end of the book but it doesn't come up much

Trigger warnings: rape mention, corrective rape mention, OCD spiraling thoughts, panic attacks, anxiety, eating issues due to OCD, depression, aphobia, homophobia, ableism, poverty, going hungry, economic issues, being out of work, unhelpful therapist, sex mentions, amatonormativity, low self-esteem

Bookworm Math

So I started a bookstagram (read: turned my regular personal IG account into a bookstragram by posting more about books and bookish things) and made a post about a meme that's been floating around Instagram. You've heard of girl math and boy math, and the concept quickly spread into concepts like reading or bookworm math. Here are my contributions.

Bookworm math:

• Buying books from independent bookstores is basically the same as donating to charity.
• i.e. noble, selfless, giving, charitable, altruistic, philanthropic, demanded by my religion, Matthew 10:8, etc.
• Paying $3 for a thrift store book is too expensive, but paying full price for a book at an independent bookstore is not.
• Let's be real here. Thrift stores get so many book donations and they will never run out of books to sell. I don't want to see a hardcover over $2 or a paperback over $1. Who do they think they are, The Strand? Also, see the previous bullet point.
  
• Buying a book from every bookstore, book selling stand/booth/stall, museum gift shop, etc., is the admission fee for visiting it.
• What do you want me to do, be rude?? break the rules?? It's mandatory!
  
• I gave away ten of my books, so now I can buy 20!
• Makes sense to me. I was so good at weeding my books that I deserve a little treat.
  
• Buying yet another bookcase when I run out of shelf space is a good investment.
• My books need a place to live! What, you want them to live on the floor like so much refuse? You know and I know that I'm going to keep buying books for the rest of my life, so it's a good investment really.
• I am justified in buying this bookish T-shirt/tote bag/pin/etc. because I'm a librarian. It's basically for work!
• Note to the IRS: I do not count my bookish purchases as work expenses

Am I right or am I right?

Book Review: The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun

The publisher of this book ran a promotion where if you made a free account for their e-reading app, you could choose an ebook to read for free. I'd had my eye on The Charm Offensive for a while, as it's a queer Bookstagram darling that features an ace-spec character, so I jumped at the chance. Here's the summary:

Dev Deshpande has always believed in fairy tales. So it’s no wonder then that he’s spent his career crafting them on the long-running reality dating show Ever After. As the most successful producer in the franchise’s history, Dev always scripts the perfect love story for his contestants, even as his own love life crashes and burns. But then the show casts disgraced tech wunderkind Charlie Winshaw as its star.

Charlie is far from the romantic Prince Charming Ever After expects. He doesn’t believe in true love, and only agreed to the show as a last-ditch effort to rehabilitate his image. In front of the cameras, he’s a stiff, anxious mess with no idea how to date twenty women on national television. Behind the scenes, he’s cold, awkward, and emotionally closed-off.

As Dev fights to get Charlie to connect with the contestants on a whirlwind, worldwide tour, they begin to open up to each other, and Charlie realizes he has better chemistry with Dev than with any of his female co-stars. But even reality TV has a script, and in order to find to happily ever after, they’ll have to reconsider whose love story gets told.

It took me a bit to get into this book and adjust to the writing, but this was a fun and cute read with a lot of mental health discussion and representation.  I felt for Charlie being constantly overwhelmed by reality television and being unable to pretend to be a charming extrovert; I did one episode of a game show and it solidified for me that a career in reality television is not for my introverted self. I can't imagine trying to act happy and normal whilst dating 20 strangers and dealing with manufactured drama for several months! Charlie has severe social anxiety and OCD, which are not understood by most of the people in the show. Dev is the only one who kind of gets what's going on, and this helps them connect (the show making them cohabitate doesn't hurt either). Charlie quickly becomes dependent on Dev, and Dev finds he genuinely cares for Charlie; this is surprising to both of them, as are the feelings they develop for each other.

I felt that it was unrealistic for Dev to believe so strongly in love and happily-ever-afters when he's worked for a dating reality TV show for six years. Everything in those kinds of shows is fake. He's literally helping manufacture it behind the scenes! I also don't get how Charlie and his awesome assistant thought being on a reality dating show would rehabilitate Charlie's image so he can get work in his field, which is coding?? What does that have to do with anything? It's established almost immediately that Charlie doesn't like to be touched, but then after the first week or so Dev kept touching Charlie without asking/warning first and Charlie seemed to be okay with it? I also thought Dev's behavior and decisions towards the end were unnecessarily dramatic. So what if Charlie is supposed to get engaged to one of the women? Just keep it quiet until Charlie can legally break up with the winner. There is some miscommunication trope, I'm afraid.

Charlie not realizing he's gay makes sense in context of his being demisexual: if he is only sexually attracted to people he's in love with, and he's never been in love before, then he'd be ignorant of both aspects of his sexuality. Dev is also gay, and he appears to have ADHD as well as depression. 

Over all, I really enjoyed this book, and I liked that it had mental health as well as ace-spec representation. I'd recommend it to people who like their romance books to have depth and representation, but still make you kick your feet and giggle. This would be such a great rom-com movie.

Score: 4 out of 5 stars, 4 out of 5 chilies 🌶
Read in: September 19
From: Glose app
Status: deleting my Glose account later

See my aesthetics moodboard for The Charm Offensive!

Representation: Indian American, gay, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, anxiety, depression, demisexual/asexual spectrum, ADHD (not explicitly named), Black minor characters, Asian minor character(s), bisexual minor character(s), lesbian minor character(s)

Cover notes: Another cartoony romance novel cover. I'm not a huge fan of the style but what it's depicting is perfect.

Trigger warnings: ableism, homophobia, biphobia, depression, OCD, anxiety, racism, low self-esteem (possible internalized homophobia), being in the closet

Regency romance novels and favorite rereads

 Wow, it's been forever since I wrote a book review! Whoops 😬

 

The last read of July was The Nonesuch, a Regency romance by Georgette Heyer. Heyer was basically the author who made Regency romance novels a thing and has greatly impacted the genre (second only to Jane Austen herself, of course). This book is about the most popular rich gentleman in London buying a mansion in a small country town and getting to know everyone, and everyone freaking out and gossiping about him. A "nonesuch" appears to be the male version of the society's "diamond of the first water". The nonesuch brings his young titled cousin with him, and the most beautiful girl in town sets her eyes on him, while her governess catches the eyes of the nonesuch. If you love the characters and setting of a Regency English country town more than the main romantic pairings, you will love this book. I didn't mind this that much, but spending so much time with other characters over the romances was unexpected. The beautiful girl was so spoiled and a pain in the ass that I wanted to shake some sense into her. The drama she creates eclipses the other romantic pairing in this book, and the author doesn't help by telling rather than showing its progression. Overall, just fine. Recommended if you like Regency historical romance novels. 3.5 out of 5 stars, selling. No spice (just kisses). Trigger warnings: teen girl flirts with and is flirted with by adult men (early twenties and early/mid-thirties), horses being whipped mentions, era-typical sexism, era-typical classism, lookism

Good Omens has been dominating my mindscape lately, as the second season came out in late July. I watched it, then watched the whole show all the way through, then turned to this book in desperation. There were so many little details I'd forgotten, and some random racist bits that made me cringe (the authors don't seem to be in favor of them, just describing middle-aged white English people behaviour. The Korean car having voice commands in bad English is suspect tho). There was other stuff I did wish had made it into the show, like the Brazilian man watching the Amazon rainforest grow back in/through his office building. Such a good book, and highly recommended. I made an Instagram post with (among other things) books from my top three authors, and put Good Omens to represent Neil Gaiman while also sneaking in Terry Pratchett. 4 stars, permanent collection. Trigger warnings: horror, body horror, murder?, a character is called a homophobic slur, racist English 'accents' of the Asian and Native American variety (the last one made by a white woman), everyday sexism

I read a couple of free romance novel ebooks while traveling, as I wanted something quick and easy to read. First up was The Footman and I, which was mostly a fun read. I liked that the heroine was a political activist in favor of poor rights, and she challenged the hero about a bill he wanted passed. I didn't like how she was 18 and he was 29, plus he was lying to her the entire time about being a servant. Overall a fun read, and I recommend it if you like Regency romance novels. It's currently still free via Barnes & Noble, so go check it out if you want. 3.5 stars, 4 out of 5 chilies 🌶  Trigger warnings: the aforementioned age gap, not asking for consent as is typical with this genre, male lead lies to female lead about his identity, period-typical sexism and classism, drunkenness

The second free romance novel ebook I read was The Spinster and the Rake, which is about a duke and a young lady forced to become engaged to avoid scandal when they're caught kissing (instant sexual attraction on both their parts, naturally). She has to take duchess lessons and they're so attracted to each other but his demeanor irks her as well. What I found interesting about this book was that the duke is autistic (the term is not used in the book due to the period) and the heroine is neurodivergent as well (less examined but I feel like she is). A lot of the way he is is because he's masking his autism from everyone and his fiance is disrupting his schedule and pressing his buttons. He's afraid she'll reject him and think him broken and she's afraid he'll never love and accept her. The book description says it's like My Fair Lady meets Pride and Prejudice, and while there are definite similarities, this book isn't them. As a fellow neurodivergent, I didn't like that she isn't really a spinster (just a young introvert uninterested in marriage) and he's not really a rake (he does have a history of bedding married women but it's not his defining quality and it barely comes up at all). I just don't buy instant sexual attraction and instant lust as plot catalysts (#i'mtooaceforthis). Anyway it's fine. 3 stars, 4 chilies. Trigger warnings: not asking for consent as is typical with this genre, suicide mentions, ableism, period-typical sexism, sex-shaming, and classism; alcohol mentions, financial scam and ruin

 I decided to reread Peter Pan, specifically the copy that I bought for 50 cents from my library's book sale, which is a facsimile of the first edition. The illustrations sadly look like mediocre-quality photocopies. I'd forgotten several details, like how Peter cries in his sleep, and how the Lost Boys all wear bear skins and are adopted by the Darlings at the end, and how the r*dsk*ns have Lost Boy scalps hanging from their belts. Peter Pan is always darker and more racist than you think. I'd also forgotten just how weirdly gendered the children's experience of Neverland is. I did remember Wendy being their mother, but that's literally all she did; the whole time she was sewing and darning and cleaning and cooking and singing to them, except for like two times where she's in danger and has to be rescued by Peter. Like, girl, have some adventures! You're going to be cleaning up and taking care of boys and men your whole life; you can do that at home! Like why is that play for her? I also don't really get why every female character was in love with Peter Pan when he's so dismissive of them and takes them for granted. He carves such a deep groove in Wendy's brain that she feels she's betrayed him by growing up and getting married. Girl, you are not a priority for him! Despite this, I cannot help but be moved by the last scene when they meet again and the story begins over again with Jane, her daughter. I suppose I'm one to talk since this story continues to be so important to me. I guess the best fairytale and fantasy stories are the ones that are deeply sad. 4.5 stars, permanent collection. Trigger warnings: murder, violence, racist Native American caricatures and slurs, Black character described in racist way, 1-handed amputee villain (ableist trope of disabled character being the bad guy), period-typical sexism and gender roles/gendered labor

The Bookstall

Just looking at them
I grow greedy, as if they were
freshly baked loaves
waiting on their shelves
to be broken open—that one
and that—and I make my choice
in a mood of exalted luck,
browsing among them
like a cow in sweetest pasture.

For life is continuous
as long as they wait
to be read—these inked paths
opening into the future, page
after page, every book
its own receding horizon.
And I hold them, one in each hand,
a curious ballast weighting me
here to the earth.

~ Linda Pastan, Carnival Evening

Catch-up Book Reviews

For Pride month I picked up the copy of Sappho that I'd found in a thrift store: The Love Songs of Sappho, translated by Paul Roche. Roche has both an introduction and translation notes in the back of the book, which were wordy and long and talked about the difficulties of translating poetry and how he tried to capture not just what she was saying but how she said it, the lightness and music of her songs. However, he chose to translate the famous "sweet mother I cannot weave" poem/fragment 102 as the speaker (Sappho herself?) longing for "a stripling lad". Ex-fucking-cuse me??? For that shameless bit of straightwashing he is dead to me, and I'm fistfighting him in hell. 3.5 stars, selling or giving away.  TW for suicide mention in the introduction

I bought The Bookshop of Second Chances by Jackie Fraser at The Book Loft in Columbus, OH. Such a wonderful bookshop; you could literally be lost in it for hours. You can read the book summary here. I read this book in the airport and on the plane, twice (I wasn't able to read much while visiting my sister; her boys are a handful). It was just the right kind of read for a vacation; it's interesting and fun and mostly lighthearted, and even a bit cozy at times. The book is told from Thea's point of view, and you see her fall in love with the small Scottish village she moves to and her Grumpy™ bookseller boss. I couldn't help but see him as David Tennant (who is also Scottish and great at playing grumpy), which meant I started seeing Olivia Coleman as Thea. This would be such a great chick flick. The tropes are there in this book (Edward is jealous of every man Thea talks to when they're just friends), but they're handled differently. There's also nuanced handling of Thea's and Edward's traumas as they start to build a relationship. They're both in their mid-forties, which helps ground the book. I enjoyed this and would recommend it to anyone who likes modern-day romance novels with a bit of depth. I only wish we saw more of the house remodeling! I love that sort of thing. 3.5 stars (affectionate), 3/5 chilies, tentatively keeping. Aesthetics moodboard  TW for infidelity, physical fighting, grief, some possessiveness, vomiting mention, man shuts woman in a room with him (he doesn't hurt her but yikes), blood mentions

 

Netflix finally made a Nimona movie! I loved it a lot, which is unsurprising considering I was a fan of the book and read it back when it was an online webcomic, ages ago. Naturally, I reread Nimona by N.D. Stevenson. I was pleasantly surprised to see what little details and scenes made it into the movie, such as the not-Monopoly scene. It's such a good graphic novel and I really recommend it. I recommend the movie as well. 4 stars, permanent collection. Aesthetics moodboard  TW for murder, torture, violence, limb (arm) loss, explosions, experimentation on sentient living being, electric shocks, othering

Book Review: Ophelia After All by Racquel Marie

Ophelia Rojas knows what she likes: her best friends, Cuban food, rose gardening, and boys – way too many boys. Her friends and parents make fun of her endless stream of crushes, but Ophelia is a romantic at heart. She couldn’t change, even if she wanted to.

So when she finds herself thinking more about cute, quiet Talia Sanchez than the loss of a perfect prom with her ex-boyfriend, seeds of doubt take root in Ophelia’s firm image of herself. Add to that the impending end of high school and the fracturing of her once-solid friend group, and things are spiraling a little out of control. But the course of love—and sexuality—never did run smooth. As her secrets begin to unravel, Ophelia must make a choice between clinging to the fantasy version of herself she’s always imagined or upending everyone’s expectations to rediscover who she really is, after all.

I put off reading Ophelia After All because I immediately knew, upon reading the synopsis, that the book would be very important to me. Ophelia is half Cuban like me and has the same last name as me (her dad even has the exact same name as my dad!), and she's always crushing on boys and longing for romance and Love™.  In the book Ophelia struggles with her crush on a girl, ignoring or excusing away her past attraction to girls, and resenting the childish and heteronormative image her loved ones have of her, fearing they'll no longer love her if/when she breaks out of that box. Honestly so real. Ophelia's freaking out about her not-straightness is probably how I would have handled it at her age. 

Ophelia has a big diverse group of friends, whom I mostly all liked at varying levels. Each friend had a different dynamic with Ophelia; she develops closer friendships with Talia (Afro-Puerto Rican) and Wesley (Korean American). I especially liked the latina amiga bonding between Talia and Ophelia. There's a love triangle within the friend group that is very dramatic, and it's annoying for the friends outside of it. There's also drama about who's asking who to prom. I thought it was really sweet that Ophelia made corsages and boutonnieres out of her roses for all her friends and their dates for prom. Ophelia was too prone to avoidance when it came to her problems, which was relatable and understandable, but obviously made things worse and was annoying to read.

Spoilers, highlight to read: I was shocked when Ophelia didn't end up with Talia. I really felt that Talia liked her back. It was honestly such a twist for me, because we're seeing it through Ophelia's romcom lens so it felt that way. I love that very few of her friends ended up being straight, and I like that 1 friend was asexual and 1 friend was aromantic. I know aroace people exist, but I think it helped differentiate the two identities (especially for those new to the concepts). I wish I'd had a group of friends that tight-knit (and queer lol) in high school, and I wish I had an LGBTQ+ center near me like the one in the book. The main/only thing I disliked in the book (well, the teenage dating drama got a bit much sometimes) was that, when Ophelia's mom hears that her daughter dumped her drink on one of her (male) students, she immediately demands an explanation (fair) and wants Ophelia to apologize to the guy without knowing what happened (unfair!!). Like, obviously when a girl dumps her drink on a guy she doesn't know, it's because he said or did something inappropriate to her! But Ophelia's mom was immediately #teamdouchebagstudent and acted like Ophelia's action could jeopardize her job or something. I could see the apprehension if the guy had been like the son of the department chair or something, but he was just some guy, and Mom should have been on her daughter's side anyway. Why did she just assume the worst of Ophelia? Supposedly they had been really close, but the mom's behavior wasn't characteristic of that. It disappointed me. I did love that Wesley's parents were so supportive of him that they proudly displayed ace flags in their home and offices!!

I liked Ophelia as a character and think it's adorable that every item of clothing she owns has flowers on it. I liked the story despite finding some parts of it challenging, and would recommend it to anyone who identifies with any part of the story. I wish I'd had this book in high school. I'm so glad I bought and read this story, and even if Ophelia Rojas isn't exactly like Michelle Rojas, she's a part of me now.

Score: 4 out of 5 stars
Read in: June 20
From: Bookshop.org
Status: keeping

See my aesthetics moodboard for Ophelia After All!

Representation: Cuban American, 2nd generation American (children of immigrants), questioning, queer, sapphic, biracial (dad is Cuban, mom is Irish American), bisexual, Afrolatina, Puerto Rican, masculine of center female character, Pakistani American, asexual, Korean American, aromantic, Black, fat, tbh Ophelia gives me neurodivergent vibes with her roses and romance obsessions

Cover notes: I love this cover; it is perfect. I feel like it perfectly captures Ophelia, down to her adorable freckles. 

Trigger warnings: homophobia, internalized homophobia, a character's homophobic family rejects her, closeted character fears rejection, a very minor character makes racist, sexist and homophobic remarks (including the D slur); a character kisses another character without asking/checking for consent first, mood outburst from teen male character that scares his female BFF (not actually violent), exhausting "straight" love triangle

Rest of May books: Marvelous Middle Grade Monographs

I've been putting off writing book reviews for the other books I read in May, so I decided to just write about them all in one post. They are all children's books, on the high and low ends of the middle grade spectrum.

The sole new read of this post is The Girl Who Drank the Moon by Kelly Barnhill. You can read the book summary here. This book was a lovely, sad, and engrossing fairytale with memorable characters. The title is a little misleading since Luna doesn't drink the whole moon, but is given moonlight to drink by accident as a baby, which makes her very magical. It gave me the same lovely sadness as The Last Unicorn, and was similarly filled with mystery and magic and wonder. I read it because I thought it was set in an Asian or Asian-inspired country, since Luna's dress and Xan's name feel Asian to me (and because of the origami cranes), and I wanted another Asian read for Asian American Heritage Month. It's not; the setting is more like a typical fantasy setting with the woods, but the Bog is unique. The poems of the Bog and Bog Monster's origin were lovely and echoed the beginnings of Genesis and John. There are some classic fairytale elements, such as the witch, the dragon, the foundling(s), and the seven-league boots, but this book felt both familiar and new. It will stay with me for a long time. 4.5/5 stars, keeping for now. Aesthetics moodboard  Trigger warnings: baby abandonment, babies left to die in the forest (they are always rescued), baby forcibly taken from its mother, imprisonment, corrupt power-hungry leaders, permanent disfigurement due to (magical paper) bird attack, grief and sorrow and regret, a forgetting and magic-sealing spell is placed on a child and it gives her terrible headaches, old woman (witch) becomes very old and frail in a way reminiscent of disease and dying, death, pain

 

I've been working on reorganizing and shelving my books, and I came across and read The Boxcar Children, which is the first and best book of the series and an old childhood favorite. This book, which is on the border between early reader and middle grade reading levels, is about the four Alden siblings who, orphaned and alone in the world, move into an abandoned boxcar and live off of the land, the dump, and oldest-born Henry's lawn mowing job. The depictions of finding crockery in the dump, swimming in the creek, and picking blueberries while living in a boxcar sounded so dang fun to me as a kid, and they honestly still sound really fun now. The kids are industrious to the point of being didactic, and the labor is really gendered for some reason, but this doesn't take away from the fun of the simple life. As a kid I mapped my siblings and myself to the four Aldens, as 2 are girls and 2 are boys just like us (I was Jessie, in case you're wondering). I gave this one away as I have limited shelf space, but I can always revisit it at the library. This is a good article, albeit spoilery. Here's a blog post by Danny Lavery, who agrees with me! 4 stars, sold/given away. Trigger warnings: poverty (but Fun™), food insecurity, orphans, old-fashioned gender roles, Protestant work ethic/values, illness, family estrangement, the doctor tells the kids' grandfather where they are without their consent/telling them despite knowing the kids don't want their grandfather to know they're in town

I watched the animated Disney Alice in Wonderland movie last month, which I'd seen bits and pieces of but hadn't watched all the way through. I enjoyed the movie and its iconic aesthetic, although I wish they'd stuck to just Alice's Adventures in Wonderland without adding stuff from Through the Looking Glass. Naturally, I reread both from the library while sitting at the Reference desk. Enjoyable and weird as always; I think it'd been too long since my last reread since there had been some things I'd forgotten. Obviously I recommend the two Alice books since they are my favorites. For full explanations of all the references, jokes and math, I recommend The Annotated Alice edition, which has both Alice books. The library copy I read had both books and originally had the cover at left. 4/5 stars for both. Trigger warnings: references to death and accidents, adult-seeming characters grab at Alice and scold/demand things from her, fantasy violence (off with their head), sentient animal cruelty, a moment of classism and ableism from Alice about a poor and "stupid" classmate, rudeness, weirdness

Pair Eyewear's "Take Me to the Sea" collection as Our Flag Means Death characters

Pair Eyewear is a company that makes glasses with little magnets in the top outer corners of the frames and plastic decorative magnetic frame toppers that you can magnetically attach to the glasses in order to switch up your look. Needless to say, they own my whole life and I am obsessed with them. (If you'd like to try them out, please use my link above; it'll give us each free money to spend at Pair.) The most recent collection as of this blog post is their "Take Me to the Sea" collection, which is of course very ocean-y and beach-y. This makes sense for summer, as everyone has the beach and The Little Mermaid on the mind. As soon as I got the email announcing this collection, as well as little thumbnail bubbles of the various topper styles and their names, it immediately reminded me of one of my current favorite shows, Our Flag Means Death (whose 2nd season cannot come soon enough). Without further ado, here is my blog post detailing which topper is which character or scene or setting from OFMD (kind of contains spoilers for the show).

The Nautilus Shell

This topper (which I bought) immediately reminded me of Ed's purple T-shirt, especially as it fades to very nearly black. However, in the interest of including all the OFMD characters, I'd assign this topper to Ivan, as the colors would look poppin' with his dark aesthetic.

The Ocean Stars

My first inclination was to assign this topper to Mary, as she is the girliest woman (of two) in the show. However, she's mostly shown wearing jewel tones and black, and this doesn't feel right for her. I think it'd work great for Alma, her and Stede's preteen daughter.

The Twilight Waves

This one is beautiful, and brings to mind the famous Japanese painting "The Wave". It kind of reminds me of that romantic scene where Stede and Ed are standing on the deck under the humongous moon.

The Shoreline

This one IMMEDIATELY brought to mind one of the last scenes in season 1, where we see Stede on a beach push a rowboat into the waves and set off to get his ship and man back.

The Seaside Tort

This topper is Jim, because of the orange :)

The Royal Blue to Seafoam Gradient

This topper is Oluwande, because it's teal :)

The Aqua Tiles

STEDE. This one is Stede in his blue suit all the way. I also bought this one.

The Marine Medallions

I've decided to assign this pretty stained glass-esque topper to Mary, as it's reminiscent of her Cubist-like paintings.

The Land & Sea Glass

Speaking of Mary's painting, this is clearly the lighthouse painting she made Stede for their anniversary in the left corner, with The Revenge in in the right. (link)

The Kraken

This one is so clearly Ed. After all, The Kraken is his alter ego.

The Shark Frenzy

This one would be perfect for Calico Jack, since he (probably) gets eaten by a shark, but I'd rather give it to Wee John as he doesn't have a topper yet.

The Stylish Seagulls

Buttons. The man wears seagulls on his head. Enough said.

The rest of the toppers in the collection aren't included in the promo pics, so I'm going to include individual pictures of each one.

The Plaid Driftwood Split

I'm assigning this one to Lucius, since he wears a plaid neckerchief and has a stripe-y shirt. Plus, he spends a lot of time standing (not working) on deck.

The Sailor Jerry Tattoo

I'm giving this one to Black Pete, as he has tattoos and it's very nautical and pirate-y.

The Canine Captains

Fang, immediately, because he loves dogs and wasn't allowed to have one on board The Queen Anne. Although, the dogs are clearly co-captains... the corgi is Stede and the French bulldog is Ed

 

The Beach Balls

I've decided to give this one to The Swede, as he is full of childlike wonder and would love to play with a beach ball. It could also be Louis, Stede & Mary's young son.

The Mermaid Tails

This one brings to mind when someone (the Swede?) asked Jim if they were a mermaid. However, I'm giving it to Spanish Jackie as I think she'd dig the colors and design.

The Watercolor Reef

I'd give this one to Roach, as he loves to cook and eat sea creatures.

The Nautical Split

This topper is fairly staid, so I'll give it to Izzy Hands (he'd definitely find fault with it tho).

The Sea Turtle Spots

I'm giving this topper to Frenchie, as it's funky like him. I love how it's rainbow-y like the show

 

The Jolly Roger

This one is all the pirate flags they make together <3

If you want to see the whole collection yourself, it's here on the PE website. If you want to try out the glasses for yourself, please use my link here so we can each get $25!

Book Review: Dragonwings by Laurence Yep

Moon Shadow only knows two things about his father, Windrider: he lives in San Francisco and used to craft beautiful kites. One day shortly after his eighth birthday, Cousin Hand Clap arrives with a letter from Windrider asking Moon Shadow to join him in San Francisco. When Moon Rider arrives in America he learns that his father makes a living doing laundry and dreams of building a flying machine just like the Wright Brothers. But making this fantastical dream a reality proves to be no easy task, as intolerance, poverty, and even an earthquake stand in their way.

Inspired by the story of a Chinese immigrant who created a flying machine in 1909, Dragonwings touches on the struggles and dreams of Chinese immigrants navigating opportunity and prejudice in San Francisco.

I think I was in the fourth grade when I first read Dragonwings, as that's when California public elementary schools teach California history, and I loved the book. I was captivated by the fantasy aspect of it, even though Windrider's dream is such a small part of the book, and I remember drawing the King of Dragons with lots of tiny detailed scales (complimented by my classmate as "cool"). The writing is simultaneously gorgeous and detailed as well as believable as a child's voice. I bought this library binding school edition of Dragonwings with complementary readings from a thrift store. 

As I read the book, I re-remembered parts of it that I hadn't thought of in years. The parts I remembered best were the dragon dream, the white lady and her granddaughter, their house's stained glass window of St. George fighting the dragon, and the plane's flight. It was like reconnecting with an elementary school friend you remembered well, but find they're different than you thought since it's been 25 years since you've seen them.

I hadn't remembered the extent of the hardship Moon Shadow and his family face; the first night he's in the Lee laundry house, Chinatown is hit by a window-smashing white mob. There's frank mentions of hate crimes against Chinese immigrants; Moon Shadow's own grandfather, who had moved to America to help build the railroads, was lynched. There's threats within the Chinese community as well: the rival gangs and Black Dog, a "cousin" who's addicted to opium and prone to theft and violence against his own people and family. Trouble with Black Dog's gang prompts Windrider and Moon Shadow to move out of Chinatown into a boarding house's garage, which brings them into contact with the kindly old landlady and her headstrong granddaughter. They all become friends and teach each other about their respective cultures.

Windrider becomes obsessed with creating a flying machine like the Wrights brothers' in order to live up to his previous life as a dragon. The characters all experience the San Francisco earthquake of 1906 and the subsequent fires, which were harrowing to read about. This book taught me more about the circumstances of Chinese immigrants in the early 20th century and what it was like to live through the devastating days during and after the earthquake than anything my textbook had. This is why historical fiction is so important; it helps children and adults experience the time and circumstances through the eyes of the characters, and cultivates empathy. It's radically important, and I'm glad Yep wrote this book.

To be honest, I mostly skimmed the related readings. One was a Ray Bradbury play of an Orientalist caricature emperor who executes a man who flies in a giant kite-inspired flying machine because the people must not be tempted to dream, or something. Typical Bradbury stuff. The depiction of the emperor is silly and stereotypical (he strikes a gong after every sentence he says), but I think Bradbury is making fun of the stereotypical & Orientalist way Chinese people are depicted in the early to mid-twentieth century. The poems were fine, and I skipped the "'The Chinese Must Go'" essay. There was an eyewitness essay about the San Fran earthquake that I also skimmed; I found it interesting that Jack London focused on the positives and made it sound like everyone only helped each other and no one did anything bad. I know Dragonwings is not an eyewitness account, but it's frank in depicting looters, including among the police and US military dispatched for public "safety". Unsurprisingly, the Chinese immigrants are forced out of the park where homeless survivors have been sent and dragged around San Francisco (not literally) due to racism and xenophobia. 

Overall, a sad yet very good book. An excellent read for Asian American Heritage Month. Do they still teach this book in elementary school? Let me know.

Score: 3.5 out of 5 stars
Read in: May 23
From: the thrift store
Status: selling

See my aesthetics moodboard for Dragonwings.

Representation: Chinese, immigrant, poor/lower class/low socioeconomic level characters who experience poverty/economic hardship, minor disabled character with 1 hand, minor/secondary elderly characters, opium addict is the violent antagonist, natural disasters survivors

Cover notes: The copy I read all those years ago had the exact same illustration of Moon Shadow and his father with the kite. This school copy is fine, although I don't like the yellow circle. I think mine had an image of the Newbery Honor Award the book won.

Trigger warnings: murder, lynching, hate crimes, death, racism, xenophobia, a child is beat unconscious by an adult, misogyny/violence against sex workers (off-page), buildings collapse during earthquake killing the people inside, secondary character cuts his own hand off with a cleaver, drug addiction, poverty, physical violence, racist bullying by older child, blood, child labor, people in shock due to earthquakes, hunger, sudden disaster-based homelessness, gambling addiction, theft

Book Review: Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie

“The murderer is with us—on the train now . . .”

Just after midnight, the famous Orient Express is stopped in its tracks by a snowdrift. By morning, the millionaire Samuel Edward Ratchett lies dead in his compartment, stabbed a dozen times, his door locked from the inside. Without a shred of doubt, one of his fellow passengers is the murderer.

Isolated by the storm, detective Hercule Poirot must find the killer among a dozen of the dead man’s enemies, before the murderer decides to strike again.

This was another sneaky "read this library sale book at the reference desk so I don't have to buy it" read. I love Agatha Christie mysteries and find them very intriguing and twisty to read. I usually have a few suspects in mind when I read mysteries, but this one had me stumped. I couldn't really picture any of the passengers on the Orient Express as the murderer, and the ending was shocking yet satisfying. Is it weird that this made me want to ride one of those luxe retro trains? Retro fancy train travel sounds so luxurious and fun compared to "making money above passenger comfort" air travel. Charitable contests website Omaze used to have giveaways for tickets to the Orient Express train every so often.

SPOILERS paragraph since I want to talk about the ending/twist (highlight to read): I did NOT see that ending coming! ALL of them are the murderer?? The celebrity toddler's murder that the victim was responsible for was very obviously based on the Lindbergh baby kidnapping and murder, with the names slightly changed. I get why Christie would use that story, as it's so shocking and heartrending, but hadn't it just happened a short while before she wrote the book? Kind of insensitive to the family, no? So sad, and I wholeheartedly support the killers' actions. Each person was part of or connected to the toddler's family in some way, and they all planned the guy's murder together. It was so smart they way they did it too, and if it weren't for Hercule Poirot being on the train by accident, no one would have figured it out. I think Poirot's decision to say the "unknown" killer escaped was the correct one. That baby-killer deserved to be murdered.

Overall, I really recommend this book to anyone who likes murder mysteries. It's a classic for a reason. I haven't seen the movie so I'll have to check it out.

Score: 4 out of 5 stars
Read in: May 4
From: the library
Status: returned to the library

Representation: Hardly any, which is standard for Christie's books. Everyone is white, and there are working-class servants and train staff but they're clearly viewed in an upper-class sort of way. Everyone is European or American and viewed in very stereotypical ways (especially the Italian).

Cover notes: To be honest, I don't remember what 'my' copy's cover looked like. This one is close enough, as I do remember it having her big signature at the top.

Trigger warnings: murder, death, dead bodies, blood, past off-page kidnapping and murder of a toddler based on a true story, premeditated murder, prejudice and stereotyping, especially toward Italian character; classism

Book Reviews: The Library of Ever books by Zeno Alexander

I bought The Library of Ever and Rebel in the Library of Ever from Book Outlet before I learned of their antisemitism (Book Outlet, not the books). They are fantasy middle grade books about a magical Library and Lenora's learning to be a librarian in it and completing the tasks ahead of her. 

 

With her parents off traveling the globe, Lenora is bored, bored, bored—until she discovers a secret doorway into the ultimate library. Mazelike and reality-bending, the library contains all the universe’s wisdom. Every book ever written, and every fact ever known, can be found within its walls. And Lenora becomes its newly appointed Fourth Assistant Apprentice Librarian.

She rockets to the stars, travels to a future filled with robots, and faces down a dark nothingness that wants to destroy all knowledge. To save the library, Lenora will have to test her limits and uncover secrets hidden among its shelves. 

Obviously I loved this. Magic library outside of space and time? Sign me up! (Literally. Can I work there?) Some quibbles: having Lenora be a "poor little rich girl" at the mercy of her neglectful nanny does not inspire you to like her or make her relatable. Obviously neglectful/absent parents are a staple of children's literature, as only then can the adventures begin, but why make her rich? It adds nothing to the story, and it doesn't make sense with her helpfulness and responsibility, as rich kids don't learn those traits, nor is it really expected of them until they're older. I also didn't like the library staff ranking and how it was applied. There's no such thing as assistant apprentice librarians, and children cannot be librarians. This feeds into the "everyone who works in a library is a librarian" myth, which is not true. You have to have an MLIS/MLS to be a librarian. Lenora gets her status upgraded magically every time she successfully helps a patron, which, I get it, magic library, but it also rankled my librarian nerves. Also, she keeps getting yanked around to different library desks as soon as she answers a patron question, which makes no sense. Why don't they have more library staff? What rankled my librarian nerves even more was how little training Lenora got. She was placed at a desk and told how to greet patrons and then told to help them, but not how. That is not how it works!! Why does she only interact with one other librarian (the awesome Malachi) and can't work with or ask any other librarian for help or information? Our part-time and new librarians (all college-educated adults) had to shadow current librarians at the reference desk for a few sessions and undergo training in order to staff the reference desk by themselves, and they just stick a 10 year old at a desk and tell her to say "how may I help you?"?? Irresponsible. To be fair, a lot of children's adventure stories don't really have any training; the kids just promise to do something (as Lenora does) and boom, they are the wizard or king or questers or whatever. Despite my librarian rants, I did love this story, and I want to spend more time in the Library of Ever.  4.5 out of 5 stars, keeping.  Trigger warnings (that I remember): adults and robots attempt/threaten to harm a child, fantasy violence, ants, unscientific space and time travel, incorrect library staff procedures and hiring

 

Lenora returns to the magical Library—which holds every book ever known on its shelves. But she discovers the Library is under new management, its incredible rooms and corridors turned dark and sinister.

She quickly connects with a secret resistance that’s trying to free knowledge from the shadows threatening it. Her new friends introduce her to an ancient lost city, hang-gliding, and mathematical beings larger than the universe itself. And they help her face the mysterious Board of new leaders—who are leading the Library into darkness.

Now it’s up to Lenora to prove that knowledge is always more powerful than ignorance and fear.

This book is set not long after the first one, although of course the Library of Ever is outside of time and space. It picks up the thread of the Forces of Darkness (i.e. censorship) trying to misinform patrons and fight the Library and centers it as the main plot point and issue of this book. This time, the Forces of Darkness have infiltrated the Board (which is in charge of the Library), removing books and firing librarians. The tone of the book is therefore darker and more suspenseful than the first, and Lenora's fight to help patrons and defeat the Forces of Darkness feels scary and real. We are in the midst of a rise in book-banning and censorship, and it often feels like the Forces of Darkness will win. We need to fight for libraries and the right to read and remember that "knowledge is a light." Like the first book, we meet more fascinating beings and concepts and learn lots of new things. I found the sub-library of forgotten works to be fascinating and sad. May all works and knowledge come to light. 4.5 out of 5 stars, keeping.  Trigger warnings (that I remember): adults and monsters attempt/threaten to harm children, fear and (child-level) horror, censorship, book-banning, misinformation, theft, despair

 

There are two books in this series, and I need more. Zeno Alexander appears to be a fictional person and pen name a la Lemony Snicket. I highly recommend these books to anyone who loves libraries and magic.

See my aesthetics moodboard for the duology!