I must not online-shop.
Online shopping is the mind-killer.
Online shopping is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my compulsion to online-shop.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the compulsion to online-shop has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
Showing posts with label reinterpretations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reinterpretations. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 11, 2025
The litany against fear from Dune, adapted to fit my situation
Sunday, February 27, 2022
Book Review: Pride: A Pride & Prejudice Remix by Ibi Zoboi
Zuri Benitez has pride. Brooklyn pride, family pride, and pride in her Afro-Latino roots. But pride might not be enough to save her rapidly gentrifying neighborhood from becoming unrecognizable.
When the wealthy Darcy family moves in across the street, Zuri wants nothing to do with their two teenage sons, even as her older sister, Janae, starts to fall for the charming Ainsley. She especially can’t stand the judgmental and arrogant Darius. Yet as Zuri and Darius are forced to find common ground, their initial dislike shifts into an unexpected understanding.
But with four wild sisters pulling her in different directions, cute boy Warren vying for her attention, and college applications hovering on the horizon, Zuri fights to find her place in Bushwick’s changing landscape, or lose it all.
I really liked this book. I loved picking up on all the twists on the original story (Benitez = Bennet, Charlize = Charlotte, Colin = Mr. Collins). It's actually a pretty close retelling, despite the modern Brooklyn setting. Zuri, who is Dominican and Haitian American, has such a strong, confident voice. She has dreams and goals and writes slam poetry. It was soul-affirming to have a(n Afro)latine protagonist and family star in this book; they all loved each other and were there for each other no matter what. I also loved the Madrina character, who as far as I can tell takes the role of the Bennets' aunt character. She's a warm and loving Boricua Santeria priestess who counsels Zuri on her problems. I didn't think Darius had the same character arc as Mr. Darcy, as his and Zuri's interactions weren't the same as Mr. Darcy's and Lizzie's. He just chilled out some and fixed his face. The first person present tense this book is written in will also put some readers off, but it does keep us firmly in Zuri's viewpoint as she is the narrator. Anyway, I really liked this book and you should read it.
Cover notes: Please try to find a big, hi-res image of this book cover, because it is gorgeous. It's a tactile bronze scrollwork deal with flowers and vines and such, with the title being spray-painted across. Just lovely. My hardcover has the Darius and Zuri bust portraits facing each other in the endpapers too.
Score: 4 out of 5 stars
Read in: February 23-24
From: probably Barnes & Noble
Status: tentatively keep
Monday, March 15, 2021
Disney Loteria cards
I recently bought a Disney version of a loteria game from someone on Etsy. It's a really cute idea and I like it a lot, but there are a lot of cards missing from the game. Obviously, in any updated version of the game, the racist Apache and negrito cards should be removed. However, there are so many cards missing that would be relatively easy to find! In searching for "disney loteria" on Etsy, I immediately found a different version of Disney loteria from another Etsy seller. Therefore, I decided to write up the ideal version of Disney loteria, with the different/best options for each card.
el gallo - The version I bought has Hei Hei the rooster from Moana, while the other version has Panchito Pistoles from The Three Caballeros. They're both valid, but I'd choose Panchito over Hei Hei because he's Mexican. It just feels right to have him be the rooster in a game of Disney loteria, doesn't it? He's Disney and Mexican.
el diablito - My version turned this into "la diabla" and put Cruella de Vil, which is perfect. The other version has Hades, which both works and doesn't, as Greek mythology is far older than Christian theology, and probably Jewish theology as well. He is the ruler of the underworld, but he's not evil like the devil is (although he is the villain in Hercules). Overall I think Cruella is a better choice, as her name literally is devil. You could also use any of the devils from that one piece in the original Fantasia.
la dama - My version's choice here was Minnie Mouse, which makes sense. The other version put Lady from Lady and the Tramp, which is a nice little bilingual joke. Lady = dama. I do want Minnie to be featured in this game but I love the pun aspect of putting Lady.
el catrín - Coincidentally, my version put Mickey Mouse, who is in white tie (la dama y el catrín are kind of paired). The other version actually has Goofy in white tie. I love the idea of putting, like, a penguin here instead (Mary Poppins), or like Bert with the penguins (if I remember correctly they're dressed the same).
el paraguas - the umbrella. Both versions got it right here, by putting Mary Poppins and her umbrella.
la sirena - Ariel (The Little Mermaid) for both, obviously. Mine actually went out of their way to find a picture of her where she's posing like the original illustration.
la escalera - the bookshelf ladder from Beauty and the Beast, naturally, for both. I highly approve.
la botella - My version has the bottle Smee is drinking from (Peter Pan), while the other one used the Drink Me bottle from Alice in Wonderland. I prefer the second option; it's much more iconic, and the picture of Smee drinking would go better under el borracho. Isn't Tinkerbell trapped in a bottle as well? That's another option.
el barril - My version has Pooh with a barrel of honey, while the other has the older brother from Onward standing in a barrel (I've only seen that movie once so I don't remember if that happened or not). Doesn't Pooh eat honey from a honey pot, not a barrel? I'd personally use the barrel that the snake gets stuck in in Robin Hood.
el árbol - Mine has Tarzan swinging in the trees, while the other has what I believe to be the big, lit-up tree from Disney Animal Kingdom. I prefer the latter, but not everyone is going to know that reference. I would have chosen Grandmother Willow from Pocahontas.
el melón - Melón can mean either melon or specifically cantaloupe. My version left this one out, and I can't see if the other did as well. I'd use the melon Rafiki uses to paint in The Lion King.
el valiente - My version used Hercules, while the other used Merida. That totally makes sense, and I like the gender neutrality. Hercules is more of a call back to the original flexing man illustration, while Merida's movie is literally called Brave because she's brave, so both work. For her it'd be la valiente.
el gorrito - Basically, the little cap. Mine has Jiminy Cricket and his top hat (Pinocchio), while the other has Mickey in his sorcerer's hat. I'd choose the latter, as it's more iconic.
la muerte - Death, in the form of a skeleton wielding a scythe. My version has the evil queen in hag form with the poison skull apple (Snow White), while the other version has Jack Skellington (The Nightmare Before Christmas). Both work quite well, but I'm leaning towards Jack as he's actually a skeleton.
la pera - the pear. My version left this one out, while the other appears to have photoshopped a picture of the pear into baby Moana's hand, presumably to be able to include her (she is adorable). I'd try to find a movie screenshot with a pear in it, rather than resorting to that.
la bandera - Mine has Lightning McQueen with the black and white checkered racing flags above him, while I can't tell if the other one included that card or not. La bandera is of course the Mexican flag, which is shown in The Three Caballeros and Coco, but the racing flags are a creative way to make this card politically neutral. I'm sure there are plain generic flags flown in medieval-set movies like Robin Hood.
el bandolón - This is a specific musical instrument used in mariachi bands, similar to a lute or guitar. There's a lot of mariachis in Coco; one of them must have a bandolón. This one was omitted from my version, while the other one just photoshopped a bandolón into a picture of Miguel (Coco).
el violoncello - I believe this is the old, full name for cello. Mine omitted it, while the other has a picture of Clara Cluck playing the cello. I know there's a few scenes in various movies with a group of musicians; one of them ought to be playing the cello. I'm pretty sure one of the musicians in the opening ball scene in the live action Beauty and the Beast is playing the violoncello.
la garza - the heron, omitted from my version. The other version just photoshopped a heron next to the Queen of Hearts, as if she was using that instead of a flamingo for the croquet game. Lazy. Maybe we could cheat a bit and use any heron-looking bird, like a stork or one of those skinny birds that flies overhead during the circle of life in The Lion King.
el pajaro - Here mine used the bird from A Bug's Life, while the other version used a picture of Maleficent with her raven on her shoulder (Sleeping Beauty). I prefer the former. "Bird" is very generic, so you can easily find examples in pretty much every movie. I'd personally use the birds in Cinderella or Snow White; they're more iconic. For a standalone bird, maybe Zazu from The Lion King.
la mano - My version used Mickey Mouse's hands, while the other used Wreck-It Ralph's enormous hand. Personally Mickey's gloved hands are more iconic; I would just use one á la the original.
la bota - The boot was omitted in mine, and I can't find it in the other. I'd use Gaston's boot(s), which we already get a closeup of during his invasion of Belle's home. Easy. Done.
la luna - My version uses the full moon behind Simba, Timon and Pumba doing their hakuna matata dance. It's lovely, but a crescent moon should be used. I cannot find the other version's moon. It would be cool if the crescent moon city from Treasure Planet were used.
el cotorro - My version has Iago, Jafar's parrot (Aladdin). I can't find the other version's parrot card. I'm fine with Iago, but I'd love a parrot from The Tiki Room. Bonus Mexicanness: my grandpa worked on the Tiki Room. I guess we're sticking to animation though.
el borracho - My (misspelled) version has Hades as the drunkard, while Smee is rightfully put as the drunkard in the other version. Doesn't somebody get drunk in Pinocchio? That could be another option.
Obviously the el negrito card is racist so we're not discussing it, but I'm shocked the version I don't have chose to keep it in and put Dr. Facilier. That's messed up.
el corazon - My version put the Queen of Hearts with her heart lollipop-looking scepter, while the other version has the casket with stabbed heart lock/decoration that the evil queen is holding (Snow White). Both work, but I like the Queen of Hearts a bit more for this card. Doesn't one of the Disney Princess movies end with a heart around the couple's heads? I'd use that.
la sandia - Neither version included the watermelon. There's a fruit stand in Lilo & Stitch, probably with a shot of watermelons. I know a few characters have done Carmen Miranda reference costumes with fruit on their heads.
el tambor - Mine didn't include a drum card, and I can't find it in the other version. This one makes me mad, because there are so many musical numbers in Disney movies. Most of them show somebody playing a drum. There are so many options. Dopey plays the drum in Snow White.
el camarón - Omitted for mine, and unfindable for the other. The French tank-cleaning shrimp from Finding Nemo. They literally used Martin and Dory for el pescado and they didn't think about the shrimp? Another option is a seafood or "Under the Sea" scene from The Little Mermaid.
las jaras - The arrows. My version used Merida and her bow and arrows for this, while I can't tell for the other version. I personally would use the arrows from Robin Hood.
el musico - My version uses Miguel from Coco, as he's a musician, while the other uses the dwarf band from Snow White. I love Miguel, of course.
la araña - Mine omitted this one, while I can't tell if the other version has it or not. I'd put the French? spider from James and the Giant Peach.
el soldado - Both versions put a green army man from Toy Story, and rightfully so.
la estrella - Mine omitted this one, while the other version rightfully used the Evangeline star that becomes the Blue Fairy (The Princess and the Frog, Pinocchio). I'm even angrier about this one than the omission of el tambor.
el cazo - Mine also omitted this one. Just use literally any pot/caldron cooking soup or whatever. There must be so many. Try Ratatouille, as the other version did (it looks photoshopped though).
el mundo - the world. Omitted from mine, can't tell with the other. Just use any globe from any study. I'm pretty sure Merlin has one in The Sword in the Stone, Theo from Atlantis, etc. There's one in the camp the animals destroy in Tarzan.
el nopal - Omitted from my version, can't tell with the other. There must be a depiction of a nopal cactus in Coco or in The Three Caballeros or Saludos Amigos or somewhere. If not, change this one to el cactus and show one of the saguaro cacti from the Mexico part of T3C.
el alacrán - I cannot recall any Disney movie having a scorpion, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Mine of course doesn't have this one, while the other just photoshopped one in front of a scared bb Simba in The Lion King.
la rosa - both versions used the enchanted rose from Beauty and the Beast, and rightfully so. There's simply nothing better.
la calavera - skull. My version used Hector from Coco, while the other used the skull and crossbones from the Pirates of the Caribbean. If we're sticking to animation, the skull and crossbones from Hook's Jolly Roger flag (Peter Pan) should be used.
la campana - My version used one of the huge church bells from Hunchback of Notre Dame, while the other just... straight up photoshopped a bell into Quasimodo's hand. I mean. The screenshots are right there.
el cantarito - a (small) pitcher or jug. Mine of course omitted this, while the other one used a pic of Mowgli carrying a water jug on his head at the end of The Jungle Book. This works, but I'd personally use the pitcher the birds pour water on Cinderella with.
el venado - Both versions rightfully used Bambi the deer.
el sol - Mine ignored this one, while the other version... photoshopped the sun behind the skinny kid from Onward. Not sure why, when the sun from Tangled is RIGHT THERE.
la corona - My version used a picture of Sleeping Beauty getting crowned with her tiara, while the other version used Prince John and his oversized crown (Robin Hood). I'd definitely choose the latter, as it's actually part of the movie. Another option is Rapunzel's tiara since it's so important to her movie.
la chalupa - a chalupa is a small boat, like a canoe or rowboat. My version used the boat that Rapunzel and Eugene row on the lake? in, while the other used Moana's first smaller boat. I think this is wrong because that boat clearly has a mast and sail, while chalupas do not. The first boat is a vastly better option. I think the best option would be to use the rowboat that Ariel and Prince Eric almost kiss in during "Kiss the Girl" (The Little Mermaid).
el pino - My version uses the pine trees behind Olaf in Frozen, while the other version uses Mickey and Minnie Mouse's Christmas tree. Both are fine.
el pescado - Both versions used Martin and Dory from Finding Nemo. Another option is to use the goldfish from Pinocchio.
la palma - Both versions used nearly the exact same picture of Lilo and Stitch sitting in a hammock strung between two palm trees.
la maceta - the flowerpot. Mine omitted this, per usual. The other used baby Groot in his flowerpot. There are literally so many flowerpots in Disney films and shorts. I mean come on.
el harpa - Both versions used Duchess playing the harp in The AristoCats, which I approve of.
la rana - Both versions used the prince-frog from The Princess and the Frog, which, duh.
I'm irritated the seller left so many cards out. I paid almost $9 for an incomplete PDF, for pete's sake. It was difficult to see whether the other Disney loteria version had all the cards or not because their listing shows only like 3 playing cards and a handful of individual cards. The text is rather hard to read, as well. I may try to make my own versions of the missing cards, using the format of the set I bought. We'll see if my nonexistent photoshopping skills can do it.
Friday, February 5, 2021
November and December books
Yikes, I am so behind on my book blogging.
Newly arrived in the town of Two Castles, Elodie unexpectedly becomes the assistant to a brilliant dragon named Meenore--and together, they begin to solve mysteries.
Their most important case concerns the town’s shape-shifting ogre, Count Jonty Um, who believes someone is plotting against him. Elodie must disguise herself to discover the source of the threat amid a cast of characters that includes a greedy king, a giddy princess, and a handsome cat trainer.
Overall, I thought this book was very good and I enjoyed reading it. This book felt more grounded in its medieval world than Levine's other fantasies have been, probably because she clearly researched life in the middle ages and peppered her book with factoids. For example, Elodie recounted having to bathe last all the time; her father would go first, then her mother, then their adult permanent guest, then Elodie because she's a child. The bath water, by the time she got to it, would be gray. As someone who is interested in medieval Europe, I very much enjoyed this book and most of its characters (Elodie was constantly talking back and interrupting her elders to the point of being annoying, and the only ahistorical thing is that none of them smacked her for it). I'd highly recommend this book to anyone who likes a fairytale retelling, particularly one of a fairytale that has not already been retold to death. Fans of Karen Cushman's medieval girl books will love this one as well. Amazon just told me that there is a sequel, and I absolutely am going to check it out. 4/5 stars, probably giving away. Trigger warnings for this book: attempted murder, poisonings, animal cruelty & possibly murder, imprisonment, descriptions of medieval European hygiene (humans having fleas etc.), speciesism and prejudice against fantastical creature/person, theft, can't think of any others. Cover notes: I like everything on this cover except for the portrayal of Elodie. Elodie is a peasant who wore plain peasant garb; she would absolutely not be wearing such a fine dress. I don't like the pinched-looking face they gave her.
I reread Christmas with Anne and Other Holiday Stories by L.M. Montgomery, as is my custom each holiday season.
Sunday, April 12, 2020
Rest of March books
So the whole coronavirus thing happened, and I learned that I only blog regularly to procrastinate at work. I also have not been reading more, despite having all this time at home. I did rearrange my square cube bookcase though. It's now between my living and office spaces, and it's perfect as a divider because I have my rainbow books on one side, and my DVDs and CDs and other things on the other side that faces my office.
I purchased and read Daniel Lavery's memoir Something That May Shock and Discredit You in the same week (!!!), which never happens (I won and used an Amazon giftcard). I've loved Lavery's writing ever since the old The Toast days, and will read everything he writes. I loved all the Bible references which he used as descriptive parallels to his transitioning (Jacob wrestling with God and being given a new name, etc.). He also did several of his signature retellings/reimaginings of classical poetry and literature. This book was funny and poignant and I liked it very much. 4 out of 5 stars.
Trigger warnings for this book: dysphoria, transphobia, Bible passages, depression and anxiety, I don't remember if he mentions his dad enabling a pedophile but if he does that's definitely one
I decided to get over my reading slump by reading an easy children's book, Oddfellow's Orphanage by Emily Winfield Martin (who also illustrated it). It's an early chapter book about a little albino girl who comes to an orphanage, and all the other children and staff that she comes to know there. It's a very gentle, retro and fantasy flavored story, with hints of sadness as of course the children are all orphans. I followed Winfield Martin's art blog, The Black Apple, for years, and I remember the individual portraits of the characters from years ago. She did all the portraits, then came up with a story to tie them all together. These portraits, along with a short biography, are at the beginning of each chapter. I don't actually know her, but I'm very proud of her for becoming a children's book writer and illustrator. I hope she writes more Oddfellow's Orphanage books, as I loved living in the world of the book. Highly recommended for children who can handle a bit of sadness in a book (some of the orphans' families were murdered, and the character bios say so in a non-descriptive but straightforward way). 4.5 out of 5 stars.
Trigger warnings for this book: murder mentions, death mentions, grief, a character has a brief aggressive episode where he cuts off a girl's braid without her consent
Trigger warnings for this book: dysphoria, transphobia, Bible passages, depression and anxiety, I don't remember if he mentions his dad enabling a pedophile but if he does that's definitely one
I decided to get over my reading slump by reading an easy children's book, Oddfellow's Orphanage by Emily Winfield Martin (who also illustrated it). It's an early chapter book about a little albino girl who comes to an orphanage, and all the other children and staff that she comes to know there. It's a very gentle, retro and fantasy flavored story, with hints of sadness as of course the children are all orphans. I followed Winfield Martin's art blog, The Black Apple, for years, and I remember the individual portraits of the characters from years ago. She did all the portraits, then came up with a story to tie them all together. These portraits, along with a short biography, are at the beginning of each chapter. I don't actually know her, but I'm very proud of her for becoming a children's book writer and illustrator. I hope she writes more Oddfellow's Orphanage books, as I loved living in the world of the book. Highly recommended for children who can handle a bit of sadness in a book (some of the orphans' families were murdered, and the character bios say so in a non-descriptive but straightforward way). 4.5 out of 5 stars. Trigger warnings for this book: murder mentions, death mentions, grief, a character has a brief aggressive episode where he cuts off a girl's braid without her consent
Tuesday, January 29, 2019
Book review: Darcy Swipes Left by Courtney Carbone & Jane Austen
I did not really care for this book. The use of emojis to replace words, often to confusing effect, was rather corny. There is a glossary in the back to explain the text speech/acronyms, for anyone older than 45, and what the emojis meant. Per usual, I did not realize this until I finished the book, so I had to guess what each emoji stood for, which was not always immediately obvious (flirting is the winky face + blowing a kiss w/ a heart emoji). The emotions of the book don't really come through when they're transmitted via text. I was kind of secondhand embarrassed throughout, tbh. I don't think this will be the kind of book that ages gracefully. Gen Z doesn't use Facebook, for instance, and I think people have stopped checking into places online.
Ok, here are some positive things about this book: most of the humor shines through, and you still get to see Lizzy dunk on Darcy. My favorite part is when Lydia goes to stay with her married friend, and she uploads a 150-picture album entitled "Selfies with Soldiers" to Facebook.
I haven't given it away (yet), but idk if I will end up keeping it after all. Probably not, as I'm already running out of space on my Jane Austen Shelf.
Score: 2.5 out of 5 stars
Read in: January 16
From: dollar store
Format: hardcover
Status: tentatively keeping
Thursday, January 17, 2019
Book review: The Other Log of Phileas Fogg by Phillip Jose Farmer
In a delicious slice of sci-fi whimsy that sits cleverly alongside Verne's original tale, Phileas Fogg's epic global journey is not the product of a daft wager but, in fact, a covert mission to chase down the elusive Captain Nemo - who is none other than Professor Moriarty.Weird, right? I felt it was pretty reaching. I know I have little creativity or writerly instincts of my own, but it feels weird and sort of lazy to me to take a classic work of literature and just like shoehorn random crap into it to make a book of your own (aka Pride & Prejudice & Zombies), or insist that the author TOTALLY meant something with their work that you know they did not (aka The Jane Austen Rules: A Classic Guide to Modern Love or Planet Narnia). Farmer started to lose me the second he said that Captain Nemo was the same person as Moriarty. Like come on. I like a mashup, but that's a bit much.
A secret alien war has raged on Earth for years and is about to culminate in this epic race.
A novel in the Wold Newton universe, in which characters such as Sherlock Holmes, Flash Gordon, Doc Savage, James Bond and Jack the Ripper are all mysteriously connected.
The writing style was very dense, and there were a lot of action scenes where it was kind of hard to understand what was going on. I know Farmer was trying to sound Verne-like, but this was even denser than Verne, IMO. There was this communication device that I did not realize was also a transporter (beam me up etc.) until like 2/3rds of the way through the book. At least Aouda turned out to be a great sharpshooter, rather than just a damsel in distress. You also have to have read Around the World in 80 Days immediately before reading this book, or you will be confused as to what's going on.
Farmer ends the book by slyly pointing out he and Phineas Fogg have the same initials, which segues us into an essay at the end of the book by some other sci fi writer that said a meteor hit a part of England where people like Tarzan, Sherlock Holmes, Moriarty, the Scarlet Pimpernel and Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett (or their relatives) were hanging out in, and that's why they're all amazing and have superpowers or whatever. Oh, and they're all related, including Farmer. What kind of English Meteor Extended Universe?? That's another level, to put the author himself into it. Yikes.
Cover notes: the airship (?) does not come into the book or have anything to do with it.
Score: 3.5 out of 5 stars
Read in: January 9-10
From: dollar store
Format: paperback
Status: giving away
Read in: January 9-10
From: dollar store
Format: paperback
Status: giving away
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
October-December 2016 books
I started but did not finish The Well at the End of the World by William Morris (early November), which I downloaded for free on my Nook. The author's name sounded familiar to me so I googled him, and it turns out he's one of the Pre-Raphaelites and the dude that founded the Kelmscott Press, which I learned about in my history of the book class! This explains why the language is extremely old fashioned: that is definitely the way someone obsessed with medieval romance would write. I don't see anyone who isn't at least somewhat an English major being able to understand more than 60% of the writing, though. It makes Charles Dickens sound like Ernest Hemingway. What helped me is that Catherine, Called Birdy was one of my favorite books growing up. Anyway it was pretty good and I can see why people like the Inklings liked it, but I stopped reading it once I stopped traveling. It was just really dense and pretty slow-moving, although I do want to finish it sometime.
Barnes & Noble sent me a 20 or 30% off coupon, so I used it to buy Neil Gaiman's The Spindle and the Sleeper (early December), which was really good. I love and am interested in all fairytale retellings, so when I saw that Neil Gaiman wrote a feminist version of Sleeping Beauty where Snow White saves Sleeping Beauty since she knows what it's like to be trapped in magical slumber, I had to have it. It's a picture book but not necessarily for children; I can see them getting scared of it since there's a lot of freaky stuff in that book. It was illustrated by Chris Riddell, who has illustrated a lot of Neil Gaiman's stuff, and the illustrations are gorgeous and creepy, just the way you'd expect. I'm going to talk about spoilery stuff below the cut. 4/5 stars
I'm continuing my Artemis Fowl series reread, so I read The Arctic Incident and The Eternity Code (books 2 and 3) in early and late December, respectively. These are a great series for very late elementary and middle schoolers. They've got heists and magic and fairy folk and technology and a smart-aleck genius kid who outsmarts adults. I have to admit that, rereading as an adult, they seemed way shorter and less OMG than they did when I first read them. 3.9,4/5 stars
I kind of wanted to continue my holiday tradition of reading my Christmas with Anne L.M. Montgomery holiday anthology and A Christmas Carol, but as I moved in December I packed up my books and couldn't get to them.
Barnes & Noble sent me a 20 or 30% off coupon, so I used it to buy Neil Gaiman's The Spindle and the Sleeper (early December), which was really good. I love and am interested in all fairytale retellings, so when I saw that Neil Gaiman wrote a feminist version of Sleeping Beauty where Snow White saves Sleeping Beauty since she knows what it's like to be trapped in magical slumber, I had to have it. It's a picture book but not necessarily for children; I can see them getting scared of it since there's a lot of freaky stuff in that book. It was illustrated by Chris Riddell, who has illustrated a lot of Neil Gaiman's stuff, and the illustrations are gorgeous and creepy, just the way you'd expect. I'm going to talk about spoilery stuff below the cut. 4/5 stars
I'm continuing my Artemis Fowl series reread, so I read The Arctic Incident and The Eternity Code (books 2 and 3) in early and late December, respectively. These are a great series for very late elementary and middle schoolers. They've got heists and magic and fairy folk and technology and a smart-aleck genius kid who outsmarts adults. I have to admit that, rereading as an adult, they seemed way shorter and less OMG than they did when I first read them. 3.9,4/5 stars
I kind of wanted to continue my holiday tradition of reading my Christmas with Anne L.M. Montgomery holiday anthology and A Christmas Carol, but as I moved in December I packed up my books and couldn't get to them.
Tuesday, October 4, 2016
July-September 2016 books
I reread Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer. Classic.
My bookclub read Why Not Me? by Mindy Kaling for July. It was a reread for me (I bought it from Barnes & Noble when it came out). Love her.
I read an online ebook called The Dark Wife by Sarah Diemer. It's available for free online and is a retelling of the Hades & Persephone myth. Kind of creepy, scary, violent, and really good. Trigger warning for rape. 4/5
I read all of the Wonder Woman comics series by Brian Azzarello and Cliff Chiang: Blood, Guts, Iron, War, Flesh, and Bones. The premise is, what if Wonder Woman's father was Zeus? Zeus disappears and the other gods and goddesses fight for his throne, and WW must band together with all of Zeus' other illegitimate offspring to save the last of Zeus' line. I love WW and I love Greek mythology, so I loved this series. The art is amazing and the storytelling is fascinating. 4/5
Guardians, Inc.: The Cypher by Julian Rosado Machain is a Kindle book I got for free from Amazon. It's about a teenage orphan boy who is drafted into a mysterious and shadowy organization then gets pulled into a fantastical conspiracy, finds out he is Special and has to save the world. You get it. Anyway this sounded like it had promise, but the writing quality was just not there, and the main character was very Gary Stu-ish. The characters were pretty flat (Grandpa and the principal were the most interesting and well-developed), and I just didn't feel invested in them or the story. It raced along at a too-fast pace and spent too much time on the boring and fake romance when I wanted to learn more about Guardians, Inc. and its Library. My least favorite thing was that this teenage boy who hasn't even finished high school is hired by this company to be an Assistant Librarian, which entails getting and checking out books to the Library's mysterious patrons. You have to have an MLIS/MLS degree to be a full-fledged librarian, and in order to be an assistant librarian, you'd have to have at least some college coursework in library science and a good amount of library experience under your belt, none of which the protagonist has. There are monsters and fauns (hoo boy, the dumbest, least accurate fauns I've ever heard of) and living gargoyles, but I could not believe or forgive this falsehood. There are sequels (OF COURSE, God forbid anyone ever write a standalone fantasy book for kids anymore) but I won't read them unless they end up being free on Amazon as well. Could have used a better editor, too. 3/5
My hands-down favorite books that I've read these last few months are Seraphina and Shadow Scale by Rachel Hartman, which are set in your typical fantasy medieval world and have dragons and a love interest prince, but are otherwise refreshingly and fascinatingly unique. Seraphina is a musician with a secret, one that she does everything to protect. I don't want to describe the books more because spoilers, but they are SO GOOD and you should definitely read them. Seraphina was on sale for like $1.99 on Nook (and I bought it in paperback from Barnes & Noble because I loved it so much), and I borrowed Shadow Scale from the library. 4.9/5
I started this free ebook called Courtlight Series 1-3: Sword to Raise, Sword to Transfer, Sworn to Conflict by Terah Edun (I was on vacation in August, which is why I had so much time to read). I say started because I could not bring myself to finish it. The story had some promise (an orphan girl with mysterious origins is inducted into an academy for training to be a magical courtesan/bodyguard type thing), but it was just ridiculous. Extremely Mary Sue-ish, flatter than pancakes characters, weird "off" writing, etc.
I started another free Kindle book (romance novel meets ecosystem/small town drama?) and just could not finish it either. The heroine almost gets raped by her ex-husband, and her new love interest who saves her like demands she "repay" him, UGH. Why do women write and read this nonsense????
Milk and Honey is a book of poetry by Rupi Kaur that covers topics like abuse, love, relationships, sex, breaking up, pain, self-love, and feminism. I borrowed it from my sister. I'd seen quotes and poems from it on Tumblr but had not read the whole thing. I really liked this. There were many poems that resonated with me. Recommended if you can handle the aforementioned topics. 4/5
Continuing my terrible free ebooks trend, I read this historical romance called Hart's Desire by Chloe Flowers (*chanting* pen name, pen name, pen name). This was pretty formulaic (protagonists hate each other but are soooo attracted to each other, lust to love etc.), and I could not really tell what era it was in. There was a mention of a possible future war against the British, but America was used to describe the country? The War of 1812, maybe? It felt more 1700s but it's difficult to tell. Also, there was that cringy Nice White People thing where the plantation the girl lives on has slaves, but she and her love interest are nice to them while other white people are mean to them. I won't be reading the others unless they also become free and I'm really bored or something. 3/5
In case you're wondering why I'm reading so many romance novels lately, it's because I am always tired and don't want too much of a commitment when reading (the Seraphina books excepted). I never really care about romance novels or their characters or how they end. Junk food for the brain.
EDIT:
I completely forgot that I finished this Kindle book I started way back in April, The Dead Key by D.M. Pulley, in July. This was a decent mystery that alternatingly focused on Beatrice, a 17 year old secretary at a big bank in the 1970s, and Iris, a 22 year old architect (?) who is assigned to draft the layout of the abandoned bank building in the 1990s. The mystery was pretty interesting and kept you in suspense. I felt that while Beatrice was written pretty well and sympathetically, Iris was an immature, naive girl who seemed more like a teenager than a college graduate. All that stuff about her crush/love interest was unnecessary and went nowhere. What I disliked most about this book was that there was no clean ending. We found out why the bank was closed, but the bad guys did not get their comeuppance and we found out that poor Beatrice is still in hiding, twentysome years later. 3.5 stars
ALSO, for some reason in April I completely forgot to review Dodger by Terry Pratchett (RIP). This was a fantastic book about The Artful Dodger, told pretty much from his point of view and redeeming Fagin as a wise and clever philosopher and grifter. He runs into some interesting people from literature (Sweeney Todd, anyone?) and history. 4.9/5 stars, highly recommended.
My bookclub read Why Not Me? by Mindy Kaling for July. It was a reread for me (I bought it from Barnes & Noble when it came out). Love her.
I read an online ebook called The Dark Wife by Sarah Diemer. It's available for free online and is a retelling of the Hades & Persephone myth. Kind of creepy, scary, violent, and really good. Trigger warning for rape. 4/5
I read all of the Wonder Woman comics series by Brian Azzarello and Cliff Chiang: Blood, Guts, Iron, War, Flesh, and Bones. The premise is, what if Wonder Woman's father was Zeus? Zeus disappears and the other gods and goddesses fight for his throne, and WW must band together with all of Zeus' other illegitimate offspring to save the last of Zeus' line. I love WW and I love Greek mythology, so I loved this series. The art is amazing and the storytelling is fascinating. 4/5
Guardians, Inc.: The Cypher by Julian Rosado Machain is a Kindle book I got for free from Amazon. It's about a teenage orphan boy who is drafted into a mysterious and shadowy organization then gets pulled into a fantastical conspiracy, finds out he is Special and has to save the world. You get it. Anyway this sounded like it had promise, but the writing quality was just not there, and the main character was very Gary Stu-ish. The characters were pretty flat (Grandpa and the principal were the most interesting and well-developed), and I just didn't feel invested in them or the story. It raced along at a too-fast pace and spent too much time on the boring and fake romance when I wanted to learn more about Guardians, Inc. and its Library. My least favorite thing was that this teenage boy who hasn't even finished high school is hired by this company to be an Assistant Librarian, which entails getting and checking out books to the Library's mysterious patrons. You have to have an MLIS/MLS degree to be a full-fledged librarian, and in order to be an assistant librarian, you'd have to have at least some college coursework in library science and a good amount of library experience under your belt, none of which the protagonist has. There are monsters and fauns (hoo boy, the dumbest, least accurate fauns I've ever heard of) and living gargoyles, but I could not believe or forgive this falsehood. There are sequels (OF COURSE, God forbid anyone ever write a standalone fantasy book for kids anymore) but I won't read them unless they end up being free on Amazon as well. Could have used a better editor, too. 3/5
My hands-down favorite books that I've read these last few months are Seraphina and Shadow Scale by Rachel Hartman, which are set in your typical fantasy medieval world and have dragons and a love interest prince, but are otherwise refreshingly and fascinatingly unique. Seraphina is a musician with a secret, one that she does everything to protect. I don't want to describe the books more because spoilers, but they are SO GOOD and you should definitely read them. Seraphina was on sale for like $1.99 on Nook (and I bought it in paperback from Barnes & Noble because I loved it so much), and I borrowed Shadow Scale from the library. 4.9/5
I started this free ebook called Courtlight Series 1-3: Sword to Raise, Sword to Transfer, Sworn to Conflict by Terah Edun (I was on vacation in August, which is why I had so much time to read). I say started because I could not bring myself to finish it. The story had some promise (an orphan girl with mysterious origins is inducted into an academy for training to be a magical courtesan/bodyguard type thing), but it was just ridiculous. Extremely Mary Sue-ish, flatter than pancakes characters, weird "off" writing, etc.
I started another free Kindle book (romance novel meets ecosystem/small town drama?) and just could not finish it either. The heroine almost gets raped by her ex-husband, and her new love interest who saves her like demands she "repay" him, UGH. Why do women write and read this nonsense????
Milk and Honey is a book of poetry by Rupi Kaur that covers topics like abuse, love, relationships, sex, breaking up, pain, self-love, and feminism. I borrowed it from my sister. I'd seen quotes and poems from it on Tumblr but had not read the whole thing. I really liked this. There were many poems that resonated with me. Recommended if you can handle the aforementioned topics. 4/5
Continuing my terrible free ebooks trend, I read this historical romance called Hart's Desire by Chloe Flowers (*chanting* pen name, pen name, pen name). This was pretty formulaic (protagonists hate each other but are soooo attracted to each other, lust to love etc.), and I could not really tell what era it was in. There was a mention of a possible future war against the British, but America was used to describe the country? The War of 1812, maybe? It felt more 1700s but it's difficult to tell. Also, there was that cringy Nice White People thing where the plantation the girl lives on has slaves, but she and her love interest are nice to them while other white people are mean to them. I won't be reading the others unless they also become free and I'm really bored or something. 3/5
In case you're wondering why I'm reading so many romance novels lately, it's because I am always tired and don't want too much of a commitment when reading (the Seraphina books excepted). I never really care about romance novels or their characters or how they end. Junk food for the brain.
EDIT:
I completely forgot that I finished this Kindle book I started way back in April, The Dead Key by D.M. Pulley, in July. This was a decent mystery that alternatingly focused on Beatrice, a 17 year old secretary at a big bank in the 1970s, and Iris, a 22 year old architect (?) who is assigned to draft the layout of the abandoned bank building in the 1990s. The mystery was pretty interesting and kept you in suspense. I felt that while Beatrice was written pretty well and sympathetically, Iris was an immature, naive girl who seemed more like a teenager than a college graduate. All that stuff about her crush/love interest was unnecessary and went nowhere. What I disliked most about this book was that there was no clean ending. We found out why the bank was closed, but the bad guys did not get their comeuppance and we found out that poor Beatrice is still in hiding, twentysome years later. 3.5 stars
ALSO, for some reason in April I completely forgot to review Dodger by Terry Pratchett (RIP). This was a fantastic book about The Artful Dodger, told pretty much from his point of view and redeeming Fagin as a wise and clever philosopher and grifter. He runs into some interesting people from literature (Sweeney Todd, anyone?) and history. 4.9/5 stars, highly recommended.
Monday, December 28, 2015
Thoughts about The Santa Clause 2 after watching it for the first time in a decade
Spoilers, I guess, if you care about that sort of thing
- The premise is silly and unrealistic, even for a Santa Claus movie. Why should Santa be forced to get married in order to be able to remain being Santa Claus? I guess the position is thousands of years old, so it makes sense the contract's author(s) would hold antiquated positions on marriage.
- Who made the Santa Claus contract and its subsequent clauses? Who is hiring Santa? Who established Santa? God? Santa hangs out with Mother Nature, Father Time, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the Sandman, and Cupid, but it's clear none of them have anything to do with the Santa politics and there is no mention of God.
- Are Mother Nature and Father Time married?
- I'm guessing the contract writer would have been more powerful than all of them, because then couldn't the current Santa Claus rewrite the contract? I guess it's not like the President rewriting or overwriting laws he doesn't like or adding amendments or whatever.
- What does Mrs. Claus do anyway? I always had the vague impression that she just baked cookies for Mr. Claus, maybe cooked all the food for him and all the elves, and occasionally took pictures with children along with Santa. Why is it so important for Santa to be married if that's all she does?
- Does that mean you can get out of being Santa by getting divorced? What if your wife dies? Are you forced to remarry?
- What if Santa's gay? Does he still have to get married? Santa & Mr. Claus? I have no doubt such a contract as antiquarian and matrimonial-minded would be completely heteronormative; that wouldn't even occur to the contract writer.
- When Scott accidentally killed the original Santa and put on his clothes, he became Santa (the first Santa Clause movie). This is very folklore/fairytale standard, but in light of this movie's new information we know that Santa must have a Mrs. Claus in order to continue, so...
- What happened to the original Mrs. Claus? Did she die at the same time as her husband? Did she also disappear the way the original Santa's body did?
- Did the original Santa die because he didn't have a wife? Is having a Mrs. Claus insurance against being killed and replaced as Santa?
- Is Santa Claus immortal, if he is not killed? Santa Claus as immortal has been suggested by all the Santa Claus mythology I have read and seen (that I remember anyway), but nothing of it apart from the Santa Clause movies suggests Santa can be killed.
- If Santa is immortal, does this mean Mrs. Claus is too?
- If Scott as Santa Claus lives for hundreds of years, what happens to his family? Does his son grow old and die while Scott is forever a portly white-haired man?
- If Santa's family have all grown old and died without him, why is he so jolly? Does being Santa mean you have amnesia? Only knowing all the children's names in the world and whether they are naughty or nice, but not who you used to be?
- I have questions about Bernard, the head elf.
- All of the elves, while hundreds of years old, remain children on the outside, but Bernard is supposed to be a teen. Why is this?
- Was he the son of the original Santa, or maybe even of the Santa before him? Does he resent the new Santa(s), who has killed and/or taken on his father's role and whom he has to serve? He is the crankiest elf we see.
- Bernard is also a clear Jewish stereotype. Why, in a movie about Christmas and its icons?
- Do elves just age very slowly? Like all the elves who look six years old are actually six hundred years old, while Bernard, who we'll graciously say looks 18 years old, is actually 1800 years old? If he's so old, then he must be very wise. Why can't he be Santa then? Is it because he's not jolly enough? Scott is very sarcastic and he still became Santa Claus.
- Why are there no other teen-looking elves? What happened to Bernard's cohort? Do we just not see them in the movies?
- Was Bernard the First Elf? I don't remember how elves are born or where they come from. How many elves are born at once, and how? How long do elves live? Are they immortal? Is Bernard near death?
- Why did the elves wait so long to tell Santa that he had to get married in order to continue being Santa Claus? Scott became Santa when his son Charlie was about eight years old, according to Wikipedia (I thought he was 6; he seemed so little to me). In The Santa Clause 2 Charlie is in middle school, about 14 years old. Six years have passed, and I'm assuming Scott underwent ample training from the elves. Why weren't all the clauses, including such an important one as the Mrs. clause, included? Is it because they are all written in tiny font on that business card? Why can't they rewrite it as a legible business contract on letter-sized paper? Wouldn't it make sense to have a couple of eagle-eyed legal elves (that one that's in love with the rules anyway, the glasses one, Curtis) get on the magnifying glasses to read the entire thing and make sure there are no surprises? Six years would have been plenty of time to find a wife. 28 days is ridiculous, and the movie makes it seem like a week.
- Why is the grace period for being an unmarried Santa 6 years? Why not 5 or 10 or 1 or 100? What's the hurry, if Santa is immortal (or is he, see above)?
- The first scene shows the North Pole at Elfcon 4-1, because they are afraid of being detected by a passing plane. I was given to understand that Santa's workshop at the North Pole is magical and therefore undetectable by human eyes, at least unbelieving adult ones. What is the truth?
- Wouldn't the pilots, hearing the noise/music, assumed it was from Arctic researchers or Arctic peoples and their equipment/radios?
- I'm just going to say it: Scott should have married the first lady he went on a date with, the Christmas-obsessed singer-songwriter played by Molly Shannon. Literally everything about her shows she would have been the best choice for Mrs. Claus. Yeah, it was pretty weird for her to break into song and dance right there in the restaurant when they were on their date, singing a Christmas-themed version of "Man! I Feel Like a Woman", but come on! That shows both her love of Christmas and her creativity. Both are important for the role of Mrs. Claus.
- Could Scott have liked her and been able to live with her? I don't know. Maybe after he got over the embarrassment of her singing and dancing in the restaurant, possibly. I feel like it's not really a huge deal when women go over the top on the first date, as they're very unlikely to turn out to be serial killers. You can recover from embarrassment. Who is there to embarrass at the North Pole? The elves would all enthusiastically join along. She would have loved it.
- Carol, Charlie's middle school principal, has a great name for Mrs. Claus and clearly loved Christmas as a child, plus she works with children every day. However, she's very strict and it seems that although she probably went into teaching because she liked it and liked kids, she's clearly become embittered and dictatorial. Anyone who is able to intimidate teenagers to such a degree that looking into their cold dark eyes causes them to go straight to third period geography is wrong for the role of Mrs. Claus.
- The movie made it sound that Carol was going to quit her job as principal, I guess because she'd be living at the North Pole with Scott. Does being Mrs. Claus mean you have to give up your own career and dreams? That's messed up. How very 1950s and prior of you, Santa Claus contract.
- There was a vague mention of Carol teaching in or heading the elf school, if there even was such a thing. What need is there for a school? Aren't all the elves only children on the outside? Are elves born and do they die?
- Scott's proposal to Carol was based on the sentiment that although they didn't know each other very well, Carol's known Santa Claus her whole life. YIKES, creepy much? It wasn't even Scott, though; he only became Santa 6 years ago. I guess because he's Santa that makes him trustworthy and kind, is the argument?
- So Carol just had to give up her entire life to be Scott's Mrs. Claus? Did she not have any family? It sounded like she was an only child. Could she bring her stuff from her house with her to the North Pole? What would happen to her house and stuff? Why did she, an unmarried public school principal, have a big house like that? Maybe her parents left it to her?
- Would she really have to spend the whole rest of her life in the North Pole? I don't really see any reason why she couldn't continue being a principal at her school. All schools are off for winter break, anyway, and it's not like Santa has a whole lot to do during the year and Mrs. Claus probably even less. idk.
- How great was the little girl who played Charlie's half sister? Such an adorable little girl, and a great little actress. She looked like a little ginger Olson. I think it's really sweet how she called Scott "Uncle Scott" and how close Scott was with his ex-wife and her new family.
- I'm not even going to go into the whole decoy toy Santa thing, except to say they are clearly tapping into the "sentient computers won't have compassion and will end up harming humans" thing. I think they tried doing too much in this movie.
- A couple of storylines that were started and mostly dropped: Charlie getting on the naughty list (did he get back on the nice list? Wouldn't his mom and stepdad just get him presents anyway?), the reason for Charlie getting on the naughty list in the first place, Charlie's crush on his female friend. Like the first Santa Clause movie, it starts off with Charlie as the main focus and firmly turns into the Scott Movie.
- I leave you with this. Neil Gaiman knows how to do horrifying interpretations.
Thursday, November 12, 2015
Flash book reviews: October
There was an ebook I read in October that I'm not going to share the title of because it was stupid, but it annoyed me that the Mexican American protagonist was said to have "two middle names" which turned out to be just her full name, including both parents' surnames, which is the Spanish naming custom. I don't remember exactly what the protagonist's name was anymore, but I'll use Maria Elena Garcia Romero as an example. The author/characters were trying to pass this off as Maria (again, not her name but I don't remember what it was) having two middle names, Elena and Garcia, even though that is NOT how the naming thing works in Hispanic cultures. Both surnames are considered just that, surnames. AND, they said that the surnames were her mother's first and her father's second. That is not how it works either!!!!! You always put the father's surname first and then the mother's. UGH. Authors, do your research before writing stuff about people from cultures that are not yours. This annoyed me a lot.
Graveyard Shift by Angela Roquet, early-mid October (free Nook ebook)
This book is about a Reaper (Grim is their boss) whose job is transporting souls to the proper afterlife and making sure demons don't get them. She's drawn into a larger political scheme that threatens the very fabric of Limbo and has to juggle that plus dating an angel. This is the first in a series so it didn't have a resolved ending. There is a lot of exposition, basically tons of world-building through explanation. None of the characters really stood out to me much. I thought it was interesting how all the different mythological and religious characters from various cultures coexisted in Limbo (I don't think that's the actual name but I don't remember what it was and I'm too lazy to look it up). I also thought it sucked that the protagonist and her friends went through the same stuff as ordinary human people: a job that can be a drag, having to pay overpriced rent, etc. This author's definitely read Pratchett and Gaiman but isn't them. I can read any amount of fantasy but when it involves angels I get uneasy. I kind of want to know what happens next but I doubt I'll go out of my way to get the other books. Maybe if I come across them in the library or their ebooks become free. 3.9/5
The Shadow and the Rose by Amanda DeWees. October 12 (free Nook ebook)
This book is based on Tam Lin (one of the few fairytales I haven't read) and is the first of a series. An ordinary girl falls in love with a hot dude who is in thrall of a powerful gorgeous woman and has to save him. I had high hopes for this one (I love books where the girl saves the guy as well as fairytale retellings) but it fell flat. The characters all were cardboard cutouts and I was mad at myself for not figuring out what the villainess was before being told, despite it being pretty obvious in hindsight. There was a bizarre plot point that just made it too much for me. I do want to read the others, kinda. 3.9/5
The Ink Readers by Thomas Holdeveult. October 12 (free Nook ebook)
This is a short story/novella set in a Thailand village about wishes. There's a wish festival and the villagers have different wishes that all end up coming true in some way, although not in the way the wishers expected. The writing was lyrical and humorous, but ultimately I am skeptical of white authors writing about cultures not their own. I feel like it might be a little dodgy race/cultural appropriation-wise, and I hated that a child in the book died (and this somehow answered his wish? His murderers got their comeuppance at least). There was some crude stuff too. 3.9/5
Until I Found You by Victoria Bylin. mid-late October (free Nook ebook)
Christian romance set in SoCal. The heroine is a graphic designer who has to take care of her grandmother who's had a stroke. On her way there she gets into a dramatic car accident and is saved by a hot newly Christian magazine editor and like many other books the heroine has to Learn To Trust and Open Her Heart To Both Love And Jesus etc. etc. Also the endangered California condors are a theme throughout (they mate for life!). Here is a bulleted list of all the things I found problematic, typically from a feminist standpoint:
Graveyard Shift by Angela Roquet, early-mid October (free Nook ebook)
This book is about a Reaper (Grim is their boss) whose job is transporting souls to the proper afterlife and making sure demons don't get them. She's drawn into a larger political scheme that threatens the very fabric of Limbo and has to juggle that plus dating an angel. This is the first in a series so it didn't have a resolved ending. There is a lot of exposition, basically tons of world-building through explanation. None of the characters really stood out to me much. I thought it was interesting how all the different mythological and religious characters from various cultures coexisted in Limbo (I don't think that's the actual name but I don't remember what it was and I'm too lazy to look it up). I also thought it sucked that the protagonist and her friends went through the same stuff as ordinary human people: a job that can be a drag, having to pay overpriced rent, etc. This author's definitely read Pratchett and Gaiman but isn't them. I can read any amount of fantasy but when it involves angels I get uneasy. I kind of want to know what happens next but I doubt I'll go out of my way to get the other books. Maybe if I come across them in the library or their ebooks become free. 3.9/5
The Shadow and the Rose by Amanda DeWees. October 12 (free Nook ebook)
This book is based on Tam Lin (one of the few fairytales I haven't read) and is the first of a series. An ordinary girl falls in love with a hot dude who is in thrall of a powerful gorgeous woman and has to save him. I had high hopes for this one (I love books where the girl saves the guy as well as fairytale retellings) but it fell flat. The characters all were cardboard cutouts and I was mad at myself for not figuring out what the villainess was before being told, despite it being pretty obvious in hindsight. There was a bizarre plot point that just made it too much for me. I do want to read the others, kinda. 3.9/5
The Ink Readers by Thomas Holdeveult. October 12 (free Nook ebook)
This is a short story/novella set in a Thailand village about wishes. There's a wish festival and the villagers have different wishes that all end up coming true in some way, although not in the way the wishers expected. The writing was lyrical and humorous, but ultimately I am skeptical of white authors writing about cultures not their own. I feel like it might be a little dodgy race/cultural appropriation-wise, and I hated that a child in the book died (and this somehow answered his wish? His murderers got their comeuppance at least). There was some crude stuff too. 3.9/5
Until I Found You by Victoria Bylin. mid-late October (free Nook ebook)
Christian romance set in SoCal. The heroine is a graphic designer who has to take care of her grandmother who's had a stroke. On her way there she gets into a dramatic car accident and is saved by a hot newly Christian magazine editor and like many other books the heroine has to Learn To Trust and Open Her Heart To Both Love And Jesus etc. etc. Also the endangered California condors are a theme throughout (they mate for life!). Here is a bulleted list of all the things I found problematic, typically from a feminist standpoint:
- super wimpy and damsel in distress-y heroine, always crying and needing to be saved by the hero
- Bad thing happens, heroine cries and the hero saves/helps her, rinse and repeat. It's like that was the only thing the author knew to do to move the plot along and create conflict.
- all-too-common work vs. family choice that women so often have to make, made to be about her faith and relationship with the guy. Like choosing to continue as a famous rich celebrity's graphic designer for her spa ads would have been the unChristian thing to do and then the guy wouldn't have been able to be with her because of her worldiness? choosing self?, which is bogus. The core choice by itself is already hard enough without adding that.
- Seriously, the famous celebrity and the hero squared off on a virtual battle over the heroine's soul. I'm not kidding. The celebrity was all "I'm going to make her my successor and the daughter I never had and I won't let YOU get in the way!" and her plastic surgeries and focus on youth and multiple failed marriages are harped on a lot. This book takes a really weird and regressive view of Women With Ambition.
- guy's one night stand (before he became a Christian, of course) painted as abandonment to the resulting baby he didn't even know about, because he just slept with the woman and didn't make a commitment. O...kay? They took precautions against getting pregnant which didn't work, but the woman didn't tell him she was pregnant. She obviously didn't want him in the picture and only hit him up for financial help for all the medical bills and funeral costs after the baby died. That's really sad but it doesn't really mean he Abandoned the baby. It wasn't his fault.
- grandmother's anecdotes about not being able to have children and her resulting grief and emotional estrangement from her husband painted as her being Selfish and Self-Centered and A Bad Wife As Well As A Bad Christian. Her husband, instead of trying to comfort her in her grief, was all "is that all I am to you, just someone who can give you a baby?" Once she repented and "served her husband with her body" EW EW EW EW EW, she eventually got the baby she so craved.
- The baby grew up and got married and had the protagonist and died tragically young along with his wife, so clearly no one in this story is allowed to have nice things. Lotta death in this book. Body count: the grandfather (past), the heroine's parents (past), the hero's baby (past). P. unnecessary imo
3/5
Friday, September 18, 2015
Science Fiction & Fantasy class essays: Grimm's Fairy Tales
I took an online class on Coursera, Fantasy and Science Fiction: The Human Mind, Our Modern World. Each week we read a different book or some short stories and had to write a short essay. This is the one I wrote after reading Children's and Household Tales, a translation of Grimm's Fairy Tales into English by Lucy Crane with illustrations by Walter Crane. The above link isn't the online version I read but I can't find it because the class is over and I can't access any resources :(
I did okay with this one; I don't remember my classmates giving me too much criticism.
I did okay with this one; I don't remember my classmates giving me too much criticism.
“The Three Spinsters” and “Rumpelstiltskin”
“The Three Spinsters” is a tale much like the better-known “Rumpelstiltskin”. Three women with unusually large body parts (those used most often in spinning) take the place of the eponymous gnome, and they simply spin flax quickly, rather than spinning it into gold. They save the girl twice: from having to spin three rooms’ worth of flax, and from ever having to spin again. The spinsters meet a happier end than Rumpelstiltskin; they are fêted at the new princess’ table as her cherished relations. It struck me how female-centric this version of the surrogate spinner(s) is: the girl’s mother lets her go with the queen who offers her son to the girl (rather than the other way around!) as a prize for spinning the flax which the spinsters save her from. This is a marked contrast to “Rumpelstiltskin”’s sole girl being at the mercy of men--father, king, messenger, and Rumpelstiltskin. The only male in “The Three Spinsters” is the prince-prize the girl marries, who is rude and impertinent, controlled by his mother and duped by his wife and the spinsters. This female-centeredness makes sense, as the story revolves around spinning flax, traditionally a woman’s job (especially unmarried women, hence the modern definition of spinster). The “Spinsters” women are portrayed as softer and more moral than the “Rumpelstiltskin” men: the mother lies from embarrassment rather than pride, and the queen is more merciful, as she doesn’t get angry when no thread is spun after three days and doesn’t threaten the girl with death if she fails her task. The spinsters ask only to be honored as family, rather than for jewelry or the firstborn child. In the end, the mother is freed from her lazy daughter, the queen gets spun thread, the spinsters get honored, and the girl gets her prince and out of spinning forever. Might the moral of the story be that everybody wins when women run the show?
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Jane by April Lindner
Read in early May. *Heavy spoilers*
This book is a modern-day retelling of Jane Eyre, which is one of my favorite books. I'd read about it on some YA blog a while back and made a mental note of it, but I didn't actually get this book until I came across it almost by accident in my favorite thrift store. While it is updated, it stays really close to the book. Recently orphaned Jane drops out of college to work as the nanny for a rock star's daughter. She's hired because she doesn't care about celebrities, but of course she falls in love with Nico the rock star blah blah wife in the attic, you know how it goes. The setting is the US East coast, and everyone who was English is now American, while the 'foreigners' are still p. much the same nationalities. The author said that she was struggling to figure out how to update the class differences (huge in the 19th century, not so much now) until she hit on the fame/celebrity thing.
I initially thought it was weird that this Jane was recently orphaned and had siblings she was estranged from (so she couldn't rely on them when her parents died), but Lindner actually combined Jane's dead parents with her abusive aunt's family, which really makes sense. Jane's brother is the abusive boy cousin, and her sister steps in for the prettier and cossetted yet selfish girl cousins. Her cold and neglectful mother who definitely favors her older two siblings over her and lets her know it all the time is basically the same person as the aunt (like if Lucille Bluth weren't funny at all), while her kind but emotionally distant and always steamrolled by his wife father is the dead uncle. It makes sense to combine the two families in this way, and it kind of makes it more heartrending since it is her own immediate family and not some semi-distant relatives who are obsessed with class and look down on her for living on their charity like in the original. It's worse, and her parents dying kind of keep Jane from being able to resolve these issues with them. The part of the book where Jane goes back to nurse her dying aunt and forgives her is turned into Jane going to visit her sister since her brother's crashing at her place after his ex-girlfriend (whom he also abused) kicks him out, and the sister wants him gone. Jane is able to get some closure re: his being a total psychopathic abuser, but it's not this touching "I forgive you!" stuff, but it makes sense that it wouldn't be. I wish he'd died in a bar brawl or whatever like the cousin in the original too; I didn't really feel like he got a comeuppance or what he deserved. We just saw that he's a pathetic awful mess and will always be that way since all his problems are his own fault and he refuses to see that.
Helen Burns is sidelined as her college roommate and former best friend that moves to Idaho or some such and doesn't really talk to her anymore, which kinda makes sense since pretty much everyone sees the meat of the story being in the Jane x Rochester dynamic, which it is, but her relationship with Helen is one of the most important in her life because it's pretty much the first person to show her real, unconditional love she didn't have to earn. No mention of the favorite teacher, either, from what I remembered. Adele is p. much the same as well. Her mom was a French pop star who took her toddler daughter to nightclubs all the time. Poor thing. I wish they'd let Adele keep her French; as a bilingual kid, keeping my native tongue is so important to me. There's like no French in this book.
The Rivers siblings become the St. John siblings (heh), and they are all pretty much the same. The boy is written like he might have like Aspergers or at least be intensely focused on things like Sherlock from the BBC show, and the sibling dynamic between them all is the same as well ("our brother's a genius with a heart for the poor!!" stop enabling him, sisters). The thing where St. John is attracted to a rich nice girl but refuses to consider dating her because mission work is there too; the only twist is that he doesn't want to get together with her and go with him not because she's so frail she'll probably die of tropical diseases, but because her dad owns some pharmaceutical company and he distrusts where her real loyalties lie. The ridiculously illogical pragmatism is the same. The mission field is in Haiti instead of India, which makes sense, and Jane practices French with him. The "Jane study Hindi with me instead of German" thing is replaced by volunteering at a soup kitchen. The creepy "Jane come be a missionary with me but we have to get married" thing is still there too but it makes even less sense than in the original since no one raises an eyebrow at girls and boys traveling together anymore; St. John's just like "we may as well be a couple since we have the same passions and we'll be working together all the time so it will probably happen anyway, who cares about attraction or chemistry" and it's somehow creepier in modernity.
Nico/Rochester's nonsense is unsurprisingly way creepier and controlling than in the original; what kind of grown-ass fortysomething man playing all these games to manipulate an inexperienced nineteen year old girl, as I kept yelling throughout the book. The playful banter/we're arguing because\but we're in love thing where Jane really just has him in the palm of her hand (I think Mallory referred to this as "topping from the bottom" [sorry, direct quote] but she may have been talking about Pamela instead) is really sadly lost. Apart from her quietly but firmly not letting herself be showered with gifts and jetsetted around the world like a typical rockstar's girlfriend, there's none of that dynamic that makes their relationship be swoony or aspirational at all (not that you should aspire to this kind of relationship omfg please don't). You know what I mean? She has like 1/4th the power she has in the original, so it loses a lot of the fun. The awed gratitude is still there, but the exultation "finally somebody loves me" is not. The "we are mental and spiritual equals, solemates" thing is mostly gone.
The Blanche Ingram character is the same, except she is an Annie Leibovitz type. I don't have much to say about her. That weird racist brownface g*psy thing that Rochester does just turns into a girlfriend of Nico's bandmate's reading Jane's tarot cards, which is less exciting and it's not like Nico had her rig their results. Nico's bandmates (he's a rock star, remember) all have girlfriends who are like models and stuff, and they are nice to and befriend Jane, which I liked.
Bertha is like a Brazilian socialite/model/Nico's wife that Nico got hooked on drugs and he feels guilty since it triggered her schizophrenia which keeps her murderous and violent and she refuses/will only pretend to take her medication and that's why he keeps her locked up in the attic. Nico's "DO YOU KNOW HOW AWFUL THOSE PLACES ARE, JANE???" when she reasonably asks him why he doesn't put Bertha in a mental institution where they actually have the facilities and teams of trained mental health professionals to deal with murderous schizophrenics instead of a perpetually drunk caregiver since this is unnecessarily endangering him, his staff, and HIS FIVE-YEAR OLD DAUGHTER, SERIOUSLY, loses a ton of weight since they don't chain crazies to the wall in damp, rat-infested basements or see mental illness as paramount to being a criminal (much) anymore. The mental illness thing isn't treated much better in the modern version than it is in the nineteenth century version; it's just updated with drugs and modern names.
Jane leaves Nico because he constantly lied to her when she gave him ample chances to tell her the truth, not because she's afraid she'll throw away her morals and live with him in sin as his mistress. This change makes sense since that's not the immoral, life-ruining thing it used to be seen as. I would have been interested to see how Jane's faith was updated and handled. I've always found it interesting that Jane, despite being religiously bullied by fundamentalist extremists at a girls' home, still developed a spiritual life that was important to her, in large part due to the important relationships she built up with her best friend and favorite teacher, both spiritual, loving people. Since both of those relationships were excised from the modern retelling, it makes sense that Jane's spirituality was too.
Here is the thing that bothered me most: you know after Thornfield Hall being set on fire and Rochester being maimed/blinded trying to save Bertha who jumps off the building and dies, then when Jane learns about this she immediately goes back to him? Well, instead of being penitent and repenting of his asshattish behavior, Nico is all "YOU LEFT ME JANE!!! HOW COULD YOU!!! I WAS IN AGONY WORRYING ABOUT YOU!!!" and Jane is all ":((( that was so wrong of me I'm so sorry my love!" PUKE. F that S. SHE LEFT HIM BECAUSE HE LIED TO AND MANIPULATED HER! THAT'S ON HIM! As Peggy says in Agent Carter, "You don't get to use my reaction to your behaviour as an excuse for your behaviour!" Nico/Rochester does not see the error of his ways or realize that what happened was because of him and his behavior and repent. He does not become humbled, only embittered. He doesn't go through this mental and behavioral change and develop a character and becomes the kind of man Jane deserves. This is the book/relationship's main redeeming quality. I am disappointed in this book because it's the most important part and it did not happen.
OH, ALSO, some mysterious relative does not die and leave Jane with a fortune of her own, which is the most important thing, relationships aside, that happens to Jane in the book. This is undoubtedly because then she'd have to share it with her awful siblings, but at the very least the worthless stocks her parents left her could have suddenly started increasing in value. I mean in the modern retelling Jane sleeps with Nico/Rochester, but she doesn't become rich and she doesn't discover she has nice family relations and no one gets the comeuppance/character change they deserve/need, so what's the point?
Pros/things I liked about this book, Jane the modern Jane Eyre:
faithful adaptation that dealt with the different factors in interesting ways
Jane is befriended by Nico's bandmates' model/actress girlfriends, which is nice
Jane and Nico sleep together, if you're into that. I guess it is realistic for our time but I was just like meh
Cons/things I did not like about this adaptation
lol everything outlined above
no comeuppance for those who deserved it
Jane didn't feel as Jane-ish as she should have
relationship dynamic not the same
Jane's spiritual life/outlook, which is an important part of her and the way she sees things, is excised from the book
3.5 out of 5 stars
This book is a modern-day retelling of Jane Eyre, which is one of my favorite books. I'd read about it on some YA blog a while back and made a mental note of it, but I didn't actually get this book until I came across it almost by accident in my favorite thrift store. While it is updated, it stays really close to the book. Recently orphaned Jane drops out of college to work as the nanny for a rock star's daughter. She's hired because she doesn't care about celebrities, but of course she falls in love with Nico the rock star blah blah wife in the attic, you know how it goes. The setting is the US East coast, and everyone who was English is now American, while the 'foreigners' are still p. much the same nationalities. The author said that she was struggling to figure out how to update the class differences (huge in the 19th century, not so much now) until she hit on the fame/celebrity thing.
I initially thought it was weird that this Jane was recently orphaned and had siblings she was estranged from (so she couldn't rely on them when her parents died), but Lindner actually combined Jane's dead parents with her abusive aunt's family, which really makes sense. Jane's brother is the abusive boy cousin, and her sister steps in for the prettier and cossetted yet selfish girl cousins. Her cold and neglectful mother who definitely favors her older two siblings over her and lets her know it all the time is basically the same person as the aunt (like if Lucille Bluth weren't funny at all), while her kind but emotionally distant and always steamrolled by his wife father is the dead uncle. It makes sense to combine the two families in this way, and it kind of makes it more heartrending since it is her own immediate family and not some semi-distant relatives who are obsessed with class and look down on her for living on their charity like in the original. It's worse, and her parents dying kind of keep Jane from being able to resolve these issues with them. The part of the book where Jane goes back to nurse her dying aunt and forgives her is turned into Jane going to visit her sister since her brother's crashing at her place after his ex-girlfriend (whom he also abused) kicks him out, and the sister wants him gone. Jane is able to get some closure re: his being a total psychopathic abuser, but it's not this touching "I forgive you!" stuff, but it makes sense that it wouldn't be. I wish he'd died in a bar brawl or whatever like the cousin in the original too; I didn't really feel like he got a comeuppance or what he deserved. We just saw that he's a pathetic awful mess and will always be that way since all his problems are his own fault and he refuses to see that.
Helen Burns is sidelined as her college roommate and former best friend that moves to Idaho or some such and doesn't really talk to her anymore, which kinda makes sense since pretty much everyone sees the meat of the story being in the Jane x Rochester dynamic, which it is, but her relationship with Helen is one of the most important in her life because it's pretty much the first person to show her real, unconditional love she didn't have to earn. No mention of the favorite teacher, either, from what I remembered. Adele is p. much the same as well. Her mom was a French pop star who took her toddler daughter to nightclubs all the time. Poor thing. I wish they'd let Adele keep her French; as a bilingual kid, keeping my native tongue is so important to me. There's like no French in this book.
The Rivers siblings become the St. John siblings (heh), and they are all pretty much the same. The boy is written like he might have like Aspergers or at least be intensely focused on things like Sherlock from the BBC show, and the sibling dynamic between them all is the same as well ("our brother's a genius with a heart for the poor!!" stop enabling him, sisters). The thing where St. John is attracted to a rich nice girl but refuses to consider dating her because mission work is there too; the only twist is that he doesn't want to get together with her and go with him not because she's so frail she'll probably die of tropical diseases, but because her dad owns some pharmaceutical company and he distrusts where her real loyalties lie. The ridiculously illogical pragmatism is the same. The mission field is in Haiti instead of India, which makes sense, and Jane practices French with him. The "Jane study Hindi with me instead of German" thing is replaced by volunteering at a soup kitchen. The creepy "Jane come be a missionary with me but we have to get married" thing is still there too but it makes even less sense than in the original since no one raises an eyebrow at girls and boys traveling together anymore; St. John's just like "we may as well be a couple since we have the same passions and we'll be working together all the time so it will probably happen anyway, who cares about attraction or chemistry" and it's somehow creepier in modernity.
Nico/Rochester's nonsense is unsurprisingly way creepier and controlling than in the original; what kind of grown-ass fortysomething man playing all these games to manipulate an inexperienced nineteen year old girl, as I kept yelling throughout the book. The playful banter/we're arguing because\but we're in love thing where Jane really just has him in the palm of her hand (I think Mallory referred to this as "topping from the bottom" [sorry, direct quote] but she may have been talking about Pamela instead) is really sadly lost. Apart from her quietly but firmly not letting herself be showered with gifts and jetsetted around the world like a typical rockstar's girlfriend, there's none of that dynamic that makes their relationship be swoony or aspirational at all (not that you should aspire to this kind of relationship omfg please don't). You know what I mean? She has like 1/4th the power she has in the original, so it loses a lot of the fun. The awed gratitude is still there, but the exultation "finally somebody loves me" is not. The "we are mental and spiritual equals, solemates" thing is mostly gone.
The Blanche Ingram character is the same, except she is an Annie Leibovitz type. I don't have much to say about her. That weird racist brownface g*psy thing that Rochester does just turns into a girlfriend of Nico's bandmate's reading Jane's tarot cards, which is less exciting and it's not like Nico had her rig their results. Nico's bandmates (he's a rock star, remember) all have girlfriends who are like models and stuff, and they are nice to and befriend Jane, which I liked.
Bertha is like a Brazilian socialite/model/Nico's wife that Nico got hooked on drugs and he feels guilty since it triggered her schizophrenia which keeps her murderous and violent and she refuses/will only pretend to take her medication and that's why he keeps her locked up in the attic. Nico's "DO YOU KNOW HOW AWFUL THOSE PLACES ARE, JANE???" when she reasonably asks him why he doesn't put Bertha in a mental institution where they actually have the facilities and teams of trained mental health professionals to deal with murderous schizophrenics instead of a perpetually drunk caregiver since this is unnecessarily endangering him, his staff, and HIS FIVE-YEAR OLD DAUGHTER, SERIOUSLY, loses a ton of weight since they don't chain crazies to the wall in damp, rat-infested basements or see mental illness as paramount to being a criminal (much) anymore. The mental illness thing isn't treated much better in the modern version than it is in the nineteenth century version; it's just updated with drugs and modern names.
Jane leaves Nico because he constantly lied to her when she gave him ample chances to tell her the truth, not because she's afraid she'll throw away her morals and live with him in sin as his mistress. This change makes sense since that's not the immoral, life-ruining thing it used to be seen as. I would have been interested to see how Jane's faith was updated and handled. I've always found it interesting that Jane, despite being religiously bullied by fundamentalist extremists at a girls' home, still developed a spiritual life that was important to her, in large part due to the important relationships she built up with her best friend and favorite teacher, both spiritual, loving people. Since both of those relationships were excised from the modern retelling, it makes sense that Jane's spirituality was too.
Here is the thing that bothered me most: you know after Thornfield Hall being set on fire and Rochester being maimed/blinded trying to save Bertha who jumps off the building and dies, then when Jane learns about this she immediately goes back to him? Well, instead of being penitent and repenting of his asshattish behavior, Nico is all "YOU LEFT ME JANE!!! HOW COULD YOU!!! I WAS IN AGONY WORRYING ABOUT YOU!!!" and Jane is all ":((( that was so wrong of me I'm so sorry my love!" PUKE. F that S. SHE LEFT HIM BECAUSE HE LIED TO AND MANIPULATED HER! THAT'S ON HIM! As Peggy says in Agent Carter, "You don't get to use my reaction to your behaviour as an excuse for your behaviour!" Nico/Rochester does not see the error of his ways or realize that what happened was because of him and his behavior and repent. He does not become humbled, only embittered. He doesn't go through this mental and behavioral change and develop a character and becomes the kind of man Jane deserves. This is the book/relationship's main redeeming quality. I am disappointed in this book because it's the most important part and it did not happen.
OH, ALSO, some mysterious relative does not die and leave Jane with a fortune of her own, which is the most important thing, relationships aside, that happens to Jane in the book. This is undoubtedly because then she'd have to share it with her awful siblings, but at the very least the worthless stocks her parents left her could have suddenly started increasing in value. I mean in the modern retelling Jane sleeps with Nico/Rochester, but she doesn't become rich and she doesn't discover she has nice family relations and no one gets the comeuppance/character change they deserve/need, so what's the point?
Pros/things I liked about this book, Jane the modern Jane Eyre:
faithful adaptation that dealt with the different factors in interesting ways
Jane is befriended by Nico's bandmates' model/actress girlfriends, which is nice
Jane and Nico sleep together, if you're into that. I guess it is realistic for our time but I was just like meh
Cons/things I did not like about this adaptation
lol everything outlined above
no comeuppance for those who deserved it
Jane didn't feel as Jane-ish as she should have
relationship dynamic not the same
Jane's spiritual life/outlook, which is an important part of her and the way she sees things, is excised from the book
3.5 out of 5 stars
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Book Reviews
Yes Please by Amy Poehler (early March)
Loved this. Loved that she put old pictures in this. Love her. 4/5
Texts From Jane Eyre by Mallory Ortberg (late March)
Mallory is a genius and her website is one of my favorites on all the Internet. These are hilarious. 5/5
Hark! A Vagrant by Kate Beaton (early April)
I'd seen most of the comics since I follow her blog religiously. Love them and her. 5/5
Lunatics by Dave Barry and Alan Zweibel (mid April)
I grew up reading Dave Barry and he shaped my sense of humor. This book (definitely for adults) was pretty funny but not the most memorable or recommended. If you like either of those authors and stories where every mistake and happenstance builds and intersects and the stakes keep getting higher and higher, then you will enjoy this. I found this at the dollar store and don't regret buying it, but I'm going to give it away since I just have so many books and limited shelf space. 3/5
Loved this. Loved that she put old pictures in this. Love her. 4/5
Texts From Jane Eyre by Mallory Ortberg (late March)
Mallory is a genius and her website is one of my favorites on all the Internet. These are hilarious. 5/5
Hark! A Vagrant by Kate Beaton (early April)
I'd seen most of the comics since I follow her blog religiously. Love them and her. 5/5
Lunatics by Dave Barry and Alan Zweibel (mid April)
I grew up reading Dave Barry and he shaped my sense of humor. This book (definitely for adults) was pretty funny but not the most memorable or recommended. If you like either of those authors and stories where every mistake and happenstance builds and intersects and the stakes keep getting higher and higher, then you will enjoy this. I found this at the dollar store and don't regret buying it, but I'm going to give it away since I just have so many books and limited shelf space. 3/5
Monday, September 17, 2012
From Prada to Nada
The sister on the left never dresses like that. She is in cute but comfy clothes in the whole movie, except for the obligatory makeover montage (which doesn't take). And the sister on the right never works, for shoes or otherwise.
Elinor: Uptight Career Woman Who Don't Need No Man (law student version). Can't speak Spanish but tries to learn. Played by a half-Brazilian actress (I was worried for a bit that they cast a white actress until I looked the movie up on IMDb).
Marianne: slutty shopaholic party girl with gold digger tendencies. Can't speak Spanish and tries to deny her Mexican heritage. Played by a half-Venezuelan actress (Carmen from Spy Kids!).
Mrs. Dashwood: dead, obviously was just like Marianne/Mary. Represented by painting.
Margaret Dashwood: axed (not necessary to story)
Mr. Dashwood: Gabriel Sr. models his mustache after Pedro Infante's, dies within the first 8 minutes of movie. Represented by topiary.
Edward Ferrars: Edward Ferris, hot lawyer. White but looks more Mexican than Nora does for some reason (played by Italian actor). Speaks Spanish badly.
John Willoughby: Rodrigo something, hot Mexican TA who turns out to be married and was just using Mary. Well, at least he got her to read a book.
Colonel Brandon: Wilmer Valderrama, hot thuggy vato who is secretly an artist/carpenter with a heart of gold. The above two actually speak Spanish well.
Sir John Middleton: actually became the girls' tia, an awesome lady who with her two comadres is also Mrs. Jennings.
John Dashwood: Gabriel Jr., who turns out to be Gabriel Sr.'s illegitimate son and has daddy issues because his father never acknowledged him, wanting to save his marriage to the girls' mom. A pushover and super wimpy, lets his wife control him, so just like the book.
Fanny Dashwood: forgot her name but she is a right bitch, just like in the book. Blonde WASP.
Lucy Steele: Bitch-in-law's bestie, is set up with Edward and he's engaged to her like immediately. Also white, but interestingly she does no scheming, just passively does whatever "Fanny" says. Is only relevant as an obstacle to Edward and Nora getting together.
Setting: Beverly Hills, East LA
Recurring themes: cultural heritage, importance of family (obvs, that's in every movie with more than one Latino person), Cielito Lindo song
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Check out the 2 new flash book reviews I tacked on to the end of my last post, July-September 2016 books!
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I've been volunteering at my local library this summer shelving books, and while I've answered patrons' questions about things l...
