Meanwhile, school isn’t going exactly as planned. All of Jay’s friends are in different classes; he has no one to sit with at lunch; his best friend, Brace, is avoiding him; and—to top it off—Jay doesn’t understand why he doesn’t share the same feelings two of his fellow classmates, a boy named Mark and a girl named Amy, have for him.
Eighth grade can be tough, but Jay has to believe everything’s going to be a-okay…right?
I bought this book from (you guessed it) Book Outlet as part of my quest to own every book about asexuality. I rarely read graphic novels or middle grade books, especially ones about boys, so this is a departure from my usual reading. I wanted something low-stakes and fun/easy after the last book I read. Also, this is my first ace read for Asexual Awareness Month.
This book is heavily based on the authors' experiences with developing bad acne at a late/r age. Jay/Jarad had perfect skin before getting bad acne, which led to being teased for being a "porcelain doll" (a compliment I've often received. I guess it's an insult for boys). Jay has low self-esteem due to his skin issues and tries developing a fashion style to make up for it. Besides his skin, Jay's main concern is that his class schedule keeps him apart from his 7th grade friends, who all seem to be ditching him for new friend groups. Jay struggles with making new friends, a rigorous skincare routine, medication side effects and monthly blood draws to make sure the Accutane isn't damaging his liver. It bothered me that Jay's dad didn't bother to try making his food low-fat, despite the dermatologist specifically telling Jay to eat a low-fat diet due to his medication. I also didn't like how his parents were dismissive and discouraging of Jay's desire to study art. They weren't cruel about it, but it still rubbed me the wrong way.
My brother also took Accutane for his acne. My siblings all had pretty bad acne but I don't remember if the younger two were put on it as well. Accutane really sucks to take; I remember my brother having to wear a hat and stay out of the sun. I actually think it impacted his joints negatively, if memory serves. Due to my developmental issues, I never had to worry about acne; I still mostly don't as long as I wash my face and change my pillowcase regularly. I did once have a very bad allergic reaction that left my face very dry, itchy, painful and leprous-looking for what felt like years, so I know what it's like to have perfect skin you take for granted until it's gone. It really does fork up your self-esteem. This was several years before the pandemic so I couldn't even hide behind face masks. I used to get looks like I was diseased. Most people would tell you my skin is flawless today, but I know it's not the same. That perfect skin I used to have is gone forever.
Jay's asexuality is not dwelled on very much. Two of his friends have crushes on him and ask him out, but he doesn't have feelings for either of them. Jay's lack of crushes puts him at odds with his fellow middle-schoolers, as you can imagine. Mark, one of said crushing friends, casually calls him an ace, and Jay goes home and googles what it means, thus learning about asexuality. His aceness is briefly mentioned a few times more in the book but doesn't really come up past that, which disappointed me a bit. Jay accepted his asexuality immediately, happy to have a word for what he is. I would have liked to see more about him dealing with that and maybe discussing it with Mark. That said, I'm really glad this book exists; now middle grade kids are going to learn what asexuality is instead of not hearing about it until adulthood like me and a lot of other aces (including the author). Another thing I will say is that this book seems to conflate asexuality with aromanticism, which are two separate things. Jay doesn't have any romantic feelings, which to me makes him aromantic as well as asexual, but the book's only mention of aromanticism is one word, aromantic, shown in Jay's googling. I'm ace but I got crushes all the time, even in middle school.
I enjoyed this book, even though it delved into eighth grade life and worries and that's well over half my life ago. I was kind of disappointed when the book ended; I wouldn't mind reading a sequel that follows Jay into high school. I'd also be interested in seeing how he deals with being aroace then. I would recommend this book to the target audience and anyone who has ever dealt with anything Jay deals with.
Score: 4 out of 5 stars
Read in: October 20
From: Book Outlet
Status: tentatively keeping
Trigger warnings: needles/blood drawing, including in the face (no blood shown); some bullying, teasing, mocking; low self-esteem, anxiety, friend rejection, friend estrangement, parents dismissive of Jay's desire to study art
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