Classic literature books reimagined as eyeshadow palettes: The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle

 previously in this "series"

I'm wearing my The Very Hungry Caterpillar T-shirt, face mask, and tote bag today (I love a theme), and it struck me, while thinking about the VHC's iconic meals, how easy it would be to make a makeup palette of this book. As always, the outside of the eyeshadow palette would look like the picture book itself, with the front cover being the front cover (duh), and the inside could have Eric Carle's iconic tissue paper collage art as the interior. I'm thinking we'd put the image of the VHC as a butterfly in the bottom right corner of the mirror. The names of the food it eats would be the eyeshadow shade names, with the round eyeshadow pans being set into the foods illustrations the way the holes are punched through the illustrations in the book (not the same size or to scale with the holes, though). 

one apple - warm red

two pears - soft yellow-green

three plums - dark blue 

four strawberries - cooler reddish pink

five oranges - orange

chocolate cake - matte dark brown 

ice cream cone - light pink

pickle - bright green 

Swiss cheese - matte yellow

salami - marbled reds and browns glitter

lollipop - swirled blue and yellow, with the swirled imprint

cherry pie - duochrome tan with reddish pink shimmer flip

sausage - matte hot pink

cupcake - matte light tan

watermelon - swirled pinky red and green

green leaf - satin darker emerald green 

 

16 eyeshadows in a palette is not usual, so you could eliminate the green leaf shade to make it 15, but I don't really want to. Another option is to make the cherry pie a bronzer/blush duo in the palette. 

Here is the mockup I made in Canva. I had to forgo the green leaf, as that would have required even more egregious image cropping. As it is I've spent way too much time on this.

 

Cute, right? Call me, Eric Carle's estate!

Expensive makeup that sucks

all hail Freckle

With high-end makeup, the packaging is almost always nicer, but the quality isn't always better. Prestige brand eyeliners are worse than drugstore brand eyeliners. I have purchased eyeliner pencils from Buxum and Urban Decay, and I hate them.

• They are too thick/wide and do not come to a point when sharpened
• they come off onto my fingers when I touch my eyes despite longevity claims
• the supposedly long-wearing eyeliners migrate to my undereyes regardless of my air conditioned climate, giving me raccoon eyes 
• despite this they are EXTREMELY difficult to remove with most makeup wipes and removers, forcing me to scrub at my delicate eye skin
• The Buxom eyeliner is a dry and thick consistency and pulls on my eyelids
• The UD pencils do glide on but irritate my eyes when I use them on the waterline. What is the purpose of a so-called 24/7 long-wearing waterproof eyeliner pencil that cannot be used on the waterline????? 

These disappointments cost $17 and $22 each, respectively. The UD pencils were in a set that was on sale, but still.

I've also used a mini size of the Marc Jacobs Highliner Gel Eye Crayon (full size $25), which was probably the worst eyeliner I've ever used. It had all of the same problems as listed above, plus it wouldn't even do a complete line on my eyelid because it was so dry and patchy. You could argue that the full size would be better quality, but mini sizes of prestige makeup items are given away as gifts with purchases in order to get you to fall in love with them and buy the full-sized product, so I don't think that argument holds up. I had the exact same issues with the terrible mini IT Cosmetics' No-Tug Waterproof Anti-Aging Gel Eyeliner ($22 full size). It definitely tugged, and that probably made my eyes age.

My Rimmel kohl/scandaleyes eyeliners, which are like $5, glide on like a dream and stay fairly well. So do Colourpop's eyeliner pencils, which are $5.50.

I've also bought a Too Faced liquid eyeliner marker, which was like $17, and it:

• was extremely watery 
• lacked almost all pigment
• dried up in the tube incredibly soon

My Physicians Formula liquid eyeliner pen, however, is like $11 and is so much better (it even has a brush tip!).

While it worked fine, I found that IT Cosmetics' "universal" brow pencil ($24 full size) was too grey and light for my dark brown eyebrows. For that, you're better off using one of Nyx or L.A. Girl or e.l.f.'s eyebrow pencils, which you can get to match your eyebrow color and only pay $3-10.

I follow beauty vloggers, and I've heard several of them rave about Ofra Cosmetics liquid lipsticks and how long-lasting they were. Ulta had a sale once, so I bought a couple.

• They did not dry down, despite being a thin formula and being given plenty of time. 
• They disappeared at the first touch of food or drink. I'm talking completely disappearing when I drank some water, no ring around the lips even. It was as if it had never been applied.
• They transferred on my fingers, cup, etc.
• They did not last, at all. 

They were $18 full price, and I bought them for $9 on sale!! I returned them. So disappointing, since the colors were gorgeous.

I was also disappointed at Stila's "stay all day" liquid lipstick ($22). I put it over lipliner and it gave me ring-around-the-lips after eating. I tried it alone and it still didn't last through food.

It was the same with Kaja's "high-pigment lip stain" ($18), which was more of a moussey liquid lipstick. I put it on and went to a potluck 15 minutes later, and it was gone. It didn't even stain my lips. It's supposed to be matte, but it wasn't really that either.

The Urban Decay Vice liquid lipstick in the shade Purgatory was patchy, drying and uncomfortable. Wet N Wild has a liquid lipstick in a similar dark metallic burgundy shade, and even if it's just as bad, it's only $5.

If it's not going to be long-lasting and will come off anyway, I recommend Colourpop's liquid lipsticks ($6 or so) or Nyx's liquid lipsticks ($5-9). Heck, Wet N Wild and e.l.f. have liquid lipsticks and they're like $5 too. There are a few drugstore brands that have actual long-wearing liquid lipsticks, such as CoverGirl and Maybelline. These come with special lip balms or clear glosses to extend the liquid lipstick's life, and are usually around $10.

Have you noticed that high-end lipsticks' bullets are shorter than drugstore lipsticks? I haven't been able to compare every single brand out there, but my Too Faced and Bésame Cosmetics lipsticks' ($17-25) bullets are shorter than my Wet N Wild and Essence lipsticks ($1-5).

Physicians Formula is a drugstore brand, but its Murumuru Butter Blushes are expensive ($13). I tried the lightest shade, which was a lovely natural soft pink in the pan, and it was so pale it wouldn't show up on me. It wasn't shimmery enough to use as a highlighter, either. What a disappointment. The shimmery pink blush I bought from e.l.f., however, is $3 and looks great. To be fair, I have also bought a pale pink shimmery blush from e.l.f. before that was too pale to be a blush and not shimmery enough to be a highlighter, but the disappointment was less because I only paid $1.

Bobbi Brown's Retouching Face Pencil ($35!!), which was clearly made to be used as a highlighter, was very dry and chunky-glittery, and didn't look good on the face. Wet N Wild and e.l.f. have some very nice and cheap highlighter sticks/crayons that glow and shimmer beautifully.

It's like some lady said on the internet, at the end of the day it all goes down the drain (as you wash your face), so you might as well save your money.

Classic literature books reimagined as eyeshadow palettes: The Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan

This is a very silly idea but I love makeup and books and anyway I haven't finished a book in a while so

The Pilgrim's Progress eyeshadow palette

Christian - matte neutral tan
The Great Burden - matte medium brown
The Slough of Despond - matte black
Hellfire - glittery/shimmery bright orangey red
New Garments - matte pure white
The Armor of God - metallic silver
Vanity Fair - glittery hot pink
The Delectable Mountains - satin grass green
The River of Death - shimmery deep blue
Mercy - satin pale pink
Great Heart - metallic royal purple
The Celestial City - shimmery white with gold microglitter

4 mattes, 4 glitters/shimmers, 2 metallics, 2 satins, a lot of Christianity

The palette itself would look like the original book (see above-right image) on the outside, and when you open it, it looks like a map of the story, with the shade names in the corresponding places. How cool would that be??

Hey Storybook Cosmetics, call me!

Please talk me out of buying these

Too Faced Chocolate Bon Bons Eye Shadow Collection

$49 for 16 eyeshadow shades ($3.06 per eyeshadow)

Reasons to buy: CHOCOLATE HEARTS PRETTY EYESHADOWS UGH!!! It's actually supposed to smell like chocolate!! $3.06 per eyeshadow is a pretty good price! Also if I bought it I'd accrue more Ulta points

Reasons not to buy: I already have an expensive eyeshadow palette I rarely use, plus enough eyeshadow singles, duos, trios, and quads to outfit an army/last me my entire life. I probably already have most of these colors. Plus I'm not the hugest fan of pink


Too Faced Love Flush Blush Long Lasting 16-Hour Blush Wardrobe
honestly these names are ridiculous/ly long

$36 for 6 blush shades ($6 per blush)

Reasons to buy: HEARTS!!! Plus blush is something I use every day, or at least every single time I put on makeup, because I am deathly pale. If I'm running late in the morning I'll slap on blush and run out the door, but I often neglect my eyeshadows because creating even a basic eyeshadow look involves multiple eyeshadows, eye brushes, and time. Even though I already have several types and shades of blush, I know I'd use this one. Each of these shades is sold individually in an adorable Polly Pocket-esque heart-shaped case for $26 (!), so $6 each is a pretty good deal! Plus if I bought it I'd accrue more Ulta points

Reasons not to buy: I already have a lot of blush, and $6 per blush is kind of a lot for me. I think the most expensive blush I currently am using is about $3. I also have no counter space in my bathroom.

Further reasons not to buy: Ulta won't let coupons apply to these! >>:(((((((

The Frenemy's Beauty Survey

The Frenemy is an awesome blogger. She did this fun survey a while back and I've wanted to do this for a while.

1) What are the 5 products you would take with you on a desert island?
SUNSCREEN in SPF 90+ (although I read anything above SPF 30 or so is basically the same as 30) in a huge Costco-sized container, chapstick (I use chapstick for lip balm the way everyone uses Kleenex to mean facial tissue) with sunscreen as well, black kohl chubby eyeliner pencil to outline my eyes to avoid glare a la the Egyptians (and also feel like a badass goddess), coconut oil (multiple uses), and Garnier Fructis leave-in conditioner. Can you tell I'm worried about sunburn? #theunbearablewhitenessofbeing
2) What are the 3 products you would splurge on if somebody gave you a giant gift card to Sephora?
This Benefit eyeliner, since I've heard it's good and I love doing winged eyeliner, a Really Good Red lipcolor, and either a really good eyebrow pencil or Benefit Lollitint
3) What’s the beauty product you are most afraid of using?
False eyelashes. I refuse.

4) What’s the lipstick that makes you feel the most powerful?
I don't know about feeling powerful. I think red lipstick looks really good on me, but I'm always paranoid it's coming off or smearing.
5) What’s your everyday makeup routine?
Aveeno sunscreen SPF 60 on my nose (and ears if I'm wearing my hair up and am going to be in the sun), hella old CoverGirl pressed powder I bought when I was like 18 for mattifying and shine, blush (either the pink CG I think or the peach Physician's Formula my sister gave me b/c it made her break out), eyebrow kit from e.l.f. to fill in brows, eye makeup. That can be a swipe of eyeliner, eyeshadow stick, full eyeshadow contouring, or winged eyeliner, etc. I usually save mascara (a sample of this one in black or CG naturalluxe in black-brown) for church and special occasions. Lipgloss or -stick or balm. Neutrogena concealer if I'm wearing contacts. The face stuff varies less than the eye or lip makeup.
6) Top 3 drugstore finds you cannot live without?
I buy almost everything at the drugstore, so I can't choose three. I'd say probably my e.l.f. studio makeup brushes. OH WAIT MY e.l.f. MAKEUP REMOVER PEN. Q-tips (knockoff) and cotton rounds.
7) Top 3 higher end finds that were actually worth the splurge?
I like never splurge on anything. I use coupons for the drugstore products I buy. I think my mom was the one who bought this, but I really like Cetaphil face cleanser. My mom and sister and I used to get Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion or Gel and I looooooved them. I may buy it again now that I have money. I also have this Clinique lipstick (Color Surge Bare Brilliance in 22 Pink Beach) that I love that's probably discontinued, but if they have it when I'm out of the tube I have I'll buy it again.
8) What’s your nighttime skincare routine?
Hahaha so bad for someone as old as I am. Half the time I just sleep with everything on. If I'm being good I use a makeup remover wipe, rinse with water, use this gr8 dollar store knockoff toner that is basically the exact same thing as Clinique's Clarifying Lotion 2 to wipe extra gunk off with a cotton round, and moisturize with Equate baby lotion. If I'm being medium, I wipe eyeliner off with a tissue. I also have eye makeup remover I got when my visiting cousin left it behind; I use it to take off my eye makeup with a cotton round (usually just if I was wearing liquid eyeliner and/or concealer). When I'm at my parents' I use Simple eye makeup remover pads (sample) and Cetaphil face cleanser, which is pretty good. Lately I've had dry patches around my mouth and I've been using coconut oil on them.
9) Products you keep buying even though you have too many?
Lipgloss, eyeshadow sticks, nail polish. Usually these are from the dollar store or e.l.f. products so they don't put too big of a dent in my pocket

10) Eyeshadow colors you gravitate towards? If you could only keep one eyeshadow palette, which one would you keep?
Browns (because they make my blueish eyes pop) and purples (my favorite color). I like grays a lot too. I don't really have palettes, just maybe duos and trios. Oh, I do have one mini travel palette in a fake metallic pewter snakeskin case. It has a purple trio (eggplant and two shades of lilac) in one side and a quad of sheer golden, brown, sheer silver, and sheer teal in the other. I use it a lot. It was a gift.
11)What’s the one makeup brush in your collection that you would keep if you had to get rid of the rest?
My e.l.f. blush brush, probably. It's a struggle deciding between that and my smudge and contour eyeshadow brushes (also e.l.f.).
12) What’s the one product you hate putting on?
I kind of suck at putting everything on. Stuff doesn't blend right, mascara clumps and gets on the wrong places, etc.

13) Best makeup tip you love telling other people about?
I can't think of one.

14) Is there a product you started using recently that you can’t believe you didn’t use before?
Brow filler. After my e.l.f. kit is done I think I'll splurge for something a Sephora girl pushes on me. The e.l.f. kit is ok, although the gel color is too dark and the brow powder is too light and reddish. My mom has an Anastasia Beverly Hills brow gel wand (like mascara), but the eyebrow hairs are not what I need to be darker. There are gaps in my brows where the hairs refuse to grow in/over and I need them filled in. I look like Groucho Marx's granddaughter rather than Frida Kahlo with this kit. I've only just started doing it, so I'm sure I'll get the hang of it.

15) Best Beauty Advice?
Do what you want and what works for you. Take care of your skin.

Makeup review: Maybelline Color Whisper lipstick in "Who Wore It Red-er"

A while back I tried a couple of my best friend's lipsticks, which were the same brand and type but different shades (an explanation if you are confused by these terms). Maybelline's Color Whisper lipsticks are glossy, sheerish shades that are very light and smooth and glide on easily. I tried a nude shade and a peach shade, both of which can look harsh or weird on my skin, but because they were so light and sheer they actually looked really good. I decided to buy my own tube, and opted for "Who Wore It Red-er" (um, Maybelline? The word "redder" exists. Use that. People are going to know you're punning "who wore it better".) since I'm always on the hunt for the perfect red lipstick (the makeup-wearing human condition). This shade was just as smooth and slide-on-y as the others, but it was otherwise disappointing. Who wore it redder? Everyone. Everyone wore it redder, because this lipstick is not red. It is a sort of ambiguous magenta (feel free to use this as a band name, just give me 10% of your band's earnings).  The picture above does have an Instagram filter applied, but it was chosen for increased color accuracy since my cell phone camera is weird and makes things come out both darker and more washed-out than in real life, and it doesn't quite show the correct shade, which is quite vibrant. It's a magenta that looks kind of reddish if you look at it quickly. But it is decidedly not red. Because it is so smooth and slick, I feel like the color kind of slides around on your lips and possibly outside your mouth into Not Lip territory. It is also hard to apply it accurately from the tube; using a lip brush would probably correct that. Since it's so glossy, your lips don't really dry out the way they do with matte lipsticks, but the color kind of feels like it stains your lips, which is strange because initially it feels like you have to apply a lot in order for the color to look even. It takes a lot more wiping to get it all off than you'd think, for a lipstick that's practically a gloss in stick form. Anyway, I give this particular tube 3 out of 5 stars.