Exorcise these lovely ghosts of days when I had prospects.
Leave me with the present truth and those with unknown objects.
Looking back is fine and all but memories won't leave me.
Only leave the lesson learned so no one will deceive me.

Possible Halloween costumes I can put together from the clothes I already own

• Snow White (drab cleaning version from the beginning of the Disney movie) (I just wore the dress I was going to use for this, though)
• Annie Edison from Community (I'd have to straighten my hair)
• Ugly Betty (my hair is too short though)
• ...Sixties mod girl? (I just wore that dress last week)
• Rachel from Glee (I'm the opposite of tan. Plus I would not be willing to sing in public)
• Tweedledee or Tweedledum armored for battle (It'd be best to do this with someone)
• lazy, broke college student with little imagination
• single

"Nunc Dimittis" by James Laughlin

Little time now
and so much hasn't
been put down as I
should have done it.
But does it matter?
It's all been written
so well by my betters,
and what they wrote
has been my joy.

I ended up buying the Nook Simple Touch. I also got this lovely case for it. I've read the quick-start guide, two books and two excerpts on it and I love it.
I've also started school. I've only had one class so far (I have class Monday, Wednesday and Thursday) so I can't quite tell how this quarter is going to be. So far it seems all right. I'm afraid I'm not that enthused about school right now. I like it fine; I just don't like all this responsibility about my portfolio hanging over my head. The thought of continuing and getting, like, a PhD or something makes me want to kill myself. I wouldn't mind doing another BA or something, but I have no money and I don't want to be any more in debt. Sigh. I'm going to do the best I can to get the most out of this year, but it's just so ominous to think this will be my last year in college.

Nook Simple Touch or Kindle Wi-Fi?

Things that are the same:

• 6-inch diagonal screen
• eInk Pearl display with no backlight for less eye strain and readability in sunlight
• up to 2 months battery life if one turns off the Wi-Fi
• free Wi-Fi access at hotspots, etc.
• can change fonts, text size, highlight, save and share passages (via Facebook or Twitter) and see what others have highlighted, make notes about text, etc.
• books delivered wirelessly
• if one has the corresponding ereading app on one's smartphone and computer as well as the ereader, it will hold one's place and notes and stuff on each device
• can lend ebooks to friends with the same ereader
• PDF, JPEG, GIF, PNG, BMP files are supported
• I think you can play music on both devices while you read, but it's late so I don't remember exactly

Reasons to get the Nook Simple Touch ($139):

• touchscreen (zForce Infrared Touch), which I am used to thanks to my smartphone
• smaller and lighter than the Kindle
• over 2 million ebooks in the Barnes & Noble ebookstore (Amazon has over 900,000. That's less than half)
• I'm already a B&N member; possible discount on the Nook and ebooks?
• in-store Nook customer service with human beings you can physically see and talk to
• library lending now (Kindle will be able to do library lending later this year)
• ePub format supported = access to more ebooks from different places (Kindle's proprietary format means I can only get books from them)
• the Nook seems to have more text styles than the Kindle
• in-store bonus: can read books for free inside B&N stores and get special offers thanks to free in-store Wi-Fi
• Android operating system (I have an Android smartphone) (not sure if this is a benefit)
• can use my own photos for screensavers
• I like the rubberized contouring on the back
• good layout, navigation and home screen display
• faster page turns, less page refreshes
• can add up to 32GB more memory/storage with a microSD memory card
• reflows PDFs, so it's better reading them on the Nook than on the Kindle (you'd have to convert your PDFs into the Kindle AZW format in order to reflow them on the Kindle)
• more powerful processor (800 MHz vs. Kindle's 532 MHz)

Reasons to get a Kindle ($114 or $139):

• $114 if I get the Kindle Wi-Fi with Special Offers. That's like $25 less than the Nook. However, I don't know exactly how annoying/intrusive the ads will be, or if the screensavers will be of ads instead of authors. I wouldn't like that.
• physical keyboard like a cell phone's. This might be faster/easier to type notes in etexts for class. Of course, I don't know how much typing I'll be doing. The toggle looks quite useful.
• more text sizes than Nook (8 vs. 7)
• everyone I know who has an ereader has a Kindle. 'Member of the club', can borrow ebooks from my friends, etc.
• already have Kindle apps on my computer and Droid (of course, I can easily download the Nook apps onto both)
• 4GB storage (3500 ebooks), twice as much as Nook (~1500 ebooks, although they let you add storage with a microSD card)
• Text to speech-computer generated voice (may not use this ever) as well as audible audiobooks (ditto?)
• Can read in portrait and landscape modes, which may be useful for PDF files especially
• better page-turn buttons
• am already somewhat familiar with the Kindle (borrowed a professor's for a weekend)
• has a web browser, which would come in handy if I don't have my computer or Droid with me. It would be easier to use either one, though, and I probably would. However: this argument in its favor. YES.
• PCWorld says its eInk display is crisper and clearer (the contrast is better)
• Amazon AdMash app lets you choose which screensavers you want
• real page numbers--not sure if Nook also has this
• worry-free archive--one's ebook library is backed up in the Amazon cloud (not sure if B&N does this with Nook ebooks)

 Sources:

• Nook vs. Kindle (B&N)
• Nook review (PCWorld)
• Kindle review (PCWorld)
• ereader comparison chart (PCWorld)
• Nook specs (B&N)
• Kindle webpage (Amazon)

So I'm 24 now...

How soon hath time, the subtle thief of youth,
    Stolen on his wing my three and twentieth year!
    My hasting days fly on with full career,
    But my late spring no bud or blossom sheweth.
Perhaps my semblance might deceive the truth,
    That I to manhood am arrived so near,
    And inward ripeness doth much less appear
    That some more timely happy spirits indueth.
Yet be it less or more, or soon or slow,
    It shall be still in strictest measure even
    To that same lot however mean or high,
Toward which time leads me and the will of heaven.
    All is, if I have grace to use it so,
    As ever in my great taskmaster's eye.
~John Milton, Sonnet VII


Milton apparently also looked way younger than his age. I feel this poem is appropriate for today. It doesn't matter what age I am or what age I look like, I'm just going to keep doing what I gotta do.

Siempre, siempre, Abuelita, yo recuerdaré...

In my earliest memory I am walking through the rooms in the Eagle Rock house, which we moved out of when I was two. The rooms are dark, but sunlight spills across the polished wood floors. I pass my little brother who is lying or crawling on the floor and see my grandma stuffing an old pair of jeans and an old red plaid flannel shirt of my father's with crumpled-up newspaper. She explains she is making a scarecrow to decorate our front stoop for Halloween. Later it will scare me whenever I pass by it, even though I saw it being made.

One of the most interesting things about life is how quickly one becomes used to things. When my grandma lived with us, it was like she had always done so. When she was gone, either to visit my uncles or live in her house in Mexico, it was as though she had never been. I remember thinking in the past that her frequent absences might prepare us for when she would be gone.
The woman I came home one day to find up in our eight-foot fig tree (which was at the top of a thirty-foot hill) sawing off its branches by hand became a frail little slip of a person who had to be lifted out of bed, enormous brown eyes and bones showing through skin much paler than it used to be. The woman who cooked and baked delicious food for us could no longer keep anything down. This was not the end we wanted for her. It was not the end she deserved.

It's strange not having her here. I'll forget sometimes and think, "oh, I should tell her hello/about the job I got/etc.", then remember I can't. We just sort of assumed she'd always be here, that she'd take care of our kids the way she took care of us. I miss her. We knew this was coming, but it's still hard.

The Rivals and Further Rivals of Sherlock Holmes

I read two books that are collections of short mystery and detective stories, written and set around the same time as Sherlock Holmes. They ranged from the mediocre (there were some where the mystery was solved but the person got off free, or where the ending was just "...oh." I hate that) to the awesome (a blind detective BAMF is put in a hostage situation because the villains know he's the only one who can stop them. He cuts the electrical light's cord, plunging the room in darkness and putting them all on equal footing. He has the drop on them due to his enhanced hearing and threatens to shoot anyone who moves. They all sit there in the darkness until his friends arrive to save him. The whole time he didn't have a gun). My favorite ones where the ones with lady detectives, because usually other people (men, mostly. These stories tend to be quite male-centric as a matter of course) underestimate them and they come out and solve the case like a boss. I think I liked the Sherlock Holmes stories more because Conan Doyle is better about explaining how he figured out the case. It drives me crazy when no explanations are given. The writing varied due to the different authors, but most of it was about as good as Conan Doyle's. I think the popularity of Sherlock Holmes is due mainly to his singular character. He's just so memorable and iconic. You think of mysteries and detectives and you think of Sherlock Holmes and his friend Watson.