Book review: My Son, Beloved Stranger by Carrol Grady

heavy spoilers throughout I guess

One of my tasks as a reference librarian is looking over the new books that are processed and ready to be shelved. One of them was My Son, Beloved Stranger by Carrol Grady. It is about an Adventist mother who is devastated when she learns her son is gay. She and the rest of the family struggle with this new side of their son as well as what others might think, their church's beliefs about gay people, and the looming threat of AIDS. The family eventually comes to accept their son and his sexuality.

MS,BS was based on the author's personal experiences, and I believe the feelings and experiences are very similar to, if not exactly, what happened. It was originally published in 1995 under a pseudonym (visible on the book cover above-left). The writing was, in my opinion, somewhat flowery and dramatic, with some unnecessary details. I do think this book was and probably still is very important for SDA parents of LGBT+ children, as at the time it was published there was little to no literature or visible support around this issue (from/by/to the Adventist church).

While I understand this book was written specifically for parents who might be blindsided by their child coming out to them and what that might entail for their religious beliefs, I thought that it made the son's being gay all about his family, especially his mother. The parents did worry about whether their son Danny would be fired for his orientation (he was a K-12 teacher), or if he would be beat up or ostracized, or if he would get AIDS, but most of their worries seemed to be about their own situations. The parents worried about what other people might think of them and leaned on their son to stay in the closet. The mother mourned the loss of the "straight" son she knew and was crushed that her son would not be able to marry and have children. She was also extremely worried that she or her husband had been responsible for her son's gayness: she and Danny had always been very close (the smothering mother theory), and her husband was a missionary pastor and was often gone for the better part of the year (the distant/absent father theory). She felt like she couldn't talk to anyone about it out of shame, seeing herself as being in the closet as the parent of a gay son, and she sank into a deep depression. Her husband was no help because he, in denial, insisted that Danny was just going through a phase and needed to snap out of it.

I suppose it is a testament to how much things have changed in society at large, my own worldview, and even the Adventist church when it comes to LGBT+ people, but I confess I was rather surprised at how hard Danny's parents took everything. When the mother learned about her son being gay, she started screaming and sobbing and punching the walls so hard she hurt herself. I've already mentioned her deep depression. The father was in denial and refused to reevaluate his worldview or listen to his son. At some point, Danny moved in with his brother and sister-in-law because of the difficulties he was having with his parents. All of this just seemed so extra to me. They were seriously reacting as if their son had been murdered, or as if he had turned out to be a serial rapist or something. And this was from Christian parents who loved their son! I was like secondhand offended at all the homophobia and narrow-mindedness.

After Danny broke off his engagement to a nice girl his parents loved, his mother started remembering all these super gay things he did as a young child, such as being really happy when his female friend let him be the mommy when playing house, saying he was going to be a ballerina when he grew up, begging his mother for  a twirly skirt and then twirling around in it, loving music and art and hating sports and cars, etc. All that and she had no idea?? To be honest, that's pretty stereotypical and imo more indicative of someone being a trans girl than a gay guy, but whatever. I was also deeply amused when Danny's dad said that all teenage guys experience feelings for their guy friends due to hormones. Like what??? Sounds like dad is bi!

Anyway, the book ends with Danny, a couple of failed relationships under his belt, telling his mother that he's going to be celibate from now on and is joining an Anglican church, and she rejoices. The author wrote an afterword that included a more affirming viewpoint for LGBT+ people (i.e. the gays don't have to be celibate to be accepted by their church/God). Overall, I think this book might be helpful for Adventist parents of LGBT+ children, as well as people studying the acceptance of LGBT+ people in the SDA denomination or Christianity in general. I don't think I'd recommend this to LGBT+ people themselves, as the negative viewpoints and situations might be triggering to them. Ultimately, this is a book for straight people, and while some might use it to pat themselves on the back for being so accepting, it might help others, especially the more traditionally minded, to become more accepting themselves. However, a lot of change has happened in the last 20+ years, and there are better books out there, such as Justin Lee's book Torn.

Score: 3.5 out of 5 stars
Read in: late April
From: the library
Format: paperback
Status: still at the library obvs

EDIT: if you're interested in this book/topic, read this article by Mrs. Grady where she looks back over the 30 years since her son came out and inspired MS,BS. Very interesting.

Book review: Women and Girls with Autism Spectrum Disorder by Sarah Hendrickx

April was Autism Awareness Month, and I spotted this book in an autism-themed listicle from Book Riot (I think). My sister works with autistic kids, and I have some neurodivergence of my own, so I ordered this book from Link+, my library's book-lending consortium. I'm going to cheat and put the synopsis from Amazon:

The difference that being female makes to the diagnosis, life and experiences of a person with an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) has largely gone unresearched and unreported until recently. In this book Sarah Hendrickx has collected both academic research and personal stories about girls and women on the autism spectrum to present a picture of their feelings, thoughts and experiences at each stage of their lives. 

Outlining how autism presents differently and can hide itself in females and what the likely impact will be for them throughout their lifespan, the book looks at how females with ASD experience diagnosis, childhood, education, adolescence, friendships, sexuality, employment, pregnancy and parenting, and aging. It will provide invaluable guidance for the professionals who support these girls and women and it will offer women with autism a guiding light in interpreting and understanding their own life experiences through the experiences of others.

I thought this book very interesting and informative, and I think it would be helpful for autistic women*, parents of autistic daughters, and medical professionals and therapists, etc. I found the personal stories very interesting, and I think they would be helpful for anyone on the autistic spectrum. Social skills have never been my strong suit, so I identified with some of the stories and things the girls and women struggled with. The research was also interesting, but many of the studies were done with few girls, so it's hard to make an impact in autism research that way. More studies with autistic girls and women need to be done. Medical professionals and therapists especially should be educated more; there were stories of dismissive doctors etc. that made my blood boil. It wouldn't hurt if early childhood educators were educated on developmental disorders as well. 

Overall, I liked this book and found it helpful, although I would have liked to see some questionnaires in the back of the book or something to help readers gauge if they or a loved one/patient might be autistic. Recommended.

*usually with disabilities you're supposed to use people-first language (e.g. 'people with disabilities' rather than 'disabled people'), but I read that many autistic people prefer to be called 'autistic people' because it's part of their identity. I'm a bit fuzzy on the details so lmk if I'm wrong.

Score: 4 out of 5 stars
Read in: late April to early-mid May
From: Link+, my library
Format: paperback
Status: returned

Television show: Home to Keep

While my reading has slowed, my television viewing has not. Instead of keeping up with all of the currently airing TV shows I'm interested in, I've been binging on Psych and Home to Keep, both included in Amazon Prime. I literally always have one tab open for each show on my browser window.

Home to Keep is a home improvement reality TV show from HGTV Canada. The premise of this show is that the host guy goes around to real people's homes (who have applied to be on the show) and fixes the problem area/s of their home with the help of his designer/contractor friends, so that instead of having to move, they have a Home to Keep. It's a really fun, neat show if you like interior design shows, which I do.

The general format of each show goes like this:

1. Family has a problem area in their home. Awkward, too small, no storage, etc.
2. Peter comes in, talks to them and assesses what needs to be changed. 
3. He gets the realtor to find them a similar house where they've done something unique and exciting with that room, and shows it to the family to give them ideas of what they could do with their problem area.
4. Peter and the contractors get to work.
5. Peter and the interior decorator, Liz, choose the look and materials for the area.
6. repeat #4 & 5 as needed.
7. Peter and Liz decorate the finished room/s.
8. Reveal.
9. Peter invites the realtor back to show her what they did. She always loves it.

To me, what sets this apart is that the show is set in Canada, and the approach and timing is completely different than it would be in an American interior design TV show. The show host Peter is a smiley, friendly white dude who you can tell really does care about the families and wants them to love their homes. While I'm sure many of his relationships with the contractors and realtor are professional, he is 100% BFFs with his interior decorator, Liz. They are so cute together, getting all excited about floor tiles and fabrics. I feel like an American host of a TV show would be super put together and dressed up, etc., but Peter looks like an ordinary dude who is wearing his normal clothes. He doesn't dress to stand out or bleach his teeth, if he's wearing TV makeup it's only powder for shine, and sometimes his hair is out of place. It's refreshingly normal. The contractors and designer are all normal people who are good at their jobs. Only the realtor, an icy former beauty queen type, looks like she's in show biz.

This show, which is half an hour long, moves at a clipped pace through the renos (that's HGTV-speak for renovations). It moves briskly along without spending any time on drama the way an American HGTV show would, even though renovations and changing layouts etc. would organically lead to possible conflicts and problems. Sometimes in the end the couple will casually mention they weren't sure about some change when it was presented to them, but they always say it worked way better than they thought it would/they love the change, etc. The families don't really seem to be involved in the decisions, but that's par for the course in these types of home renovation shows.

What I don't like and would change is that there is no big reveal to the family. I want to see their surprised faces when they see all of the team's hard work! This is probably the biggest difference between this and American renovation shows. US shows are all about the big reveal and tears, etc. The reveal is for us, the viewers, and shots of the before and after are interspersed with footage of the family using their new space and talking heads of them saying how much they love the changes. I also don't like that they show us brief clips of the finished rooms before the end of the show, probably as they go to commercial. I would save it all until the end. I do like that Peter himself also takes on small projects, such as sanding and repainting small pieces of furniture, reupholstering seats, etc.

Overall, this is a fun, interesting show that I love to watch while relaxing. The Canadian accents and friendliness are so soothing, and this show is way better to watch at night than any of my many murder mystery shows as there is no suspense. It gives me lots of great ideas for home projects, and I love it.

Book review: The Benevent Treasure by Patricia Wentworth

My reading has slowed considerably, but the latest book I've read was another mystery (shocker), called The Benevent Treasure. It is part of the Miss Silver Mysteries series by Patricia Wentworth, which are set in England in the early 20th century. I was excited to read a gothic-looking mystery with a lady detective. There are a couple of murders/dead bodies, so I was a little surprised to see this is billed as a cozy mystery, but I guess that's because Miss Maude Silver is always knitting.

The Misses Benenvent have always lived in their huge, old, gloomy mansion, the aptly named Underhill. When young Candida's aunt dies, they extend an invitation to her to live with them, as their only other family. However, Candida quickly learns that there is much creepiness to her new life: the great-aunts, one of whom rules the household and her sister (and wants to rule Candida) with an iron fist; the mysterious disappearance of a male secretary who might have been something more, and hidden treasure that has a curse over it. Add in some hidden passages/doors, a robotic butler, and a cook that knows too much, and you have a rollicking Gothic mystery.

I found it weird that this book is supposed to be a Miss Silver mystery, yet it features her so seldom. The main character is Candida, and it's mostly told through her perspective. Miss Silver is one of those proper matrons who is very observant and a good listener and always knows what to do or say, but she's not really a Mary Sue and is quite likable. I wish we'd seen more of her in this book. I suspected what had really happened to the missing secretary pretty early, but the twists and turns kept me guessing. I would recommend this book, and want to read the others in the series.

The cover has that old 1960s Gothic art, which misrepresents what the story is about. Candida has auburn hair, not blonde like the girl on the cover. The mansion is basically cut into the bottom of the hill (hello?!? Underhill!!!), not on top of it. And while Candida is SPOILER imprisoned in the hidden below-ground areas under the mansion, she is not put into a prison cell with a window, wearing rags and barefoot. She's dressed in her outdoor clothes and boots, and there are no windows in the stone room. END SPOILER I guess the aunts' characterization is mostly correct. I think I like this cover the best, although there are lots of good (and bad ones) in Google Images.

Score: 4 out of 5 stars
Read in: mid-late March
From: pretty sure the free books rack @ the library
Format: paperback
Status: might give away at some point

Book review: East of the Sun and West of the Moon - Kay Neilsen et al.

One of the new books that I had to look through at work was a big, beautifully illustrated version of East of the Sun and West of the Moon, a collection of Norse fairytales with essays on the history of their collection, translation, and illustration. Kay Neilsen did the illustrations for these stories, and they are just gorgeous. You can see the Art Deco and stage scenery influence. If you've never seen his art, I recommend searching for his name in Google Images. I'd read most of these stories before; if you've done any extensive reading of fairytales, you'll recognize the tales (animal husband, youngest son hero, do not go into that room, magical help, etc.). I liked this book because of the essays in the beginning, which talked about the history of illustrated fairytale book publishing, fairytale collecting and publishing, Kay Neilsen's life (he sadly died penniless and nearly obscure), etc. If you're one of those people who want to buy every kind of fairytale book there is or are huge fans of Neilsen's art, I would recommend this. The only downside was that the cardboard (!) covering of this hardcover got a rip on the spine, which is really weird for such an expensive-looking book. I was shocked to learn there are murals by Kay Neilsen in Los Angeles and in the town where my sister went to college--I could have visited had I known!

Score: 4 out of 5 stars
Read in: mid-late February
From: new library acquisitions (work)
Format: hardcover
Status: still at the library, obviously

Book review: Absolution By Murder by Peter Tremayne

You will be completely unsurprised to learn that my next book was also from the library free books rack. Absolution By Murder: A Sister Fidelma Mystery is a historical fiction mystery set in the British Isles during the medieval period and is part of a series by Peter Tremayne. Sister Fidelma is an crime-solving nun who is a sort of lawyer/detective/investigator-type official in Ireland and she has to solve, you guessed it, MURDER. Well, several.

I felt somewhat like I had started the series somewhere between the beginning and middle, so I was therefore surprised to learn that ABM is apparently the first in this series, according to Publisher's Weekly (see this book's Amazon page).
Absolution by Murder's synopsis:

The King of Northumbria has requested the services of a wise counsel to decide the people's religious future. Among the select priests, elders, and scholars from Ireland and Rome is Sister Fidelma of Kildare. Trained as an advocate of the courts, she was expecting to rule on issues of law. Instead she was plunged into unholy murder. Dead was the Abbess Étain, a leading Celtic speaker, her throat slashed. With the counsel in an uproar and civil war threatening, the desperate king has turned to the sharp-witted Sister Fidelma for help. With the aide of her dear friend Brother Eadulf and her faith in the truth, she must act in haste before the killer strikes again.

The book opens with a note from the author, which provides historical context to the era and location so that the reader can understand what's going on. For instance, Tremayne states that in medieval Ireland (until England invaded it and forced assimilation), women had more rights than in other countries and could own property and hold political office. The historical context  was very useful; I think I would have been much more confused without it. The author's bio on Amazon is as follows: Peter Tremayne is the pseudonym for Peter Berresford Ellis, a well-respected authority on the ancient Celts. He is the author of over twenty books, including The Dictionary of Celtic Mythology, The Celtic Dawn: A History of Pan Celticism, and The Druids. This shows that Tremayne/Berresford Ellis really knows his stuff about the Celts and medieval Britain. I love anything having to do with the medieval era, so I was interested in this book.

The reason the Celtic religeuses are in Northumbria is because a synod is taking place, where church clergy are debating about whether the Celtic version or Catholic version of Christianity is correct and which one they will follow. I don't remember or know all of the differences, but Celtic Christianity included celebrating Easter according to the Julian calendar, keeping the seventh day Sabbath, monks shaving the front of the head for their tonsure, clergy being able to marry and both male and female monks/nuns in the same abbey/monastery, and sticking more closely to the apostles/early Christians' version of Christianity. The Catholics believed in celebrating Easter according to the Gregorian calendar, keeping Sunday as Sabbath, monks shaving a circle on the top of their head for their tonsure, the authority of the pope, and clergy remaining celibate and separate. The Celtic Christianity probably came to Ireland with the Romans during their reign, making their Christianity purer than Catholicism, which like snowballed a bunch of pagan and "popes just wanna have total power" stuff and cared less about the Bible than about papal authority. I read somewhere that the Irish Christians kept the Saturday Sabbath until the Catholic English forced them to adopt Sunday worship. See? Older than Catholicism, and closer to the Bible. I'm Seventh-day Adventist, a Protestant denomination that has been traditionally anti-Catholic (most Protestant denominations were/are, though), so I'm biased. Anyway, the monks were straight-up coming to blows over this stuff. To me, the tonsures are stupid, go ahead and celebrate Easter on Sunday, stop being so antisemitic that you refuse to keep the Saturday Sabbath even though it says to in the 10 commandments and get mad when someone points out that Jesus was Jewish, wtf, I don't care about the rest ditch the pope. The reason they wanted/had to choose one version of Christianity was because they were afraid a schism might happen, and the gospel might be lost? idk. Obviously the Church has split up many times and it's still here, but the Great Schism (Catholic-Orthodox/East-West church split) hadn't happened yet so they didn't know that. I was very interested in all of this and liked this aspect of the book. I love fun books that teach you things.

I'm not sure why the synopsis says "her dear friend Brother Eadulf" when he and Sister Fidelma first meet in this book and don't even like each other in the beginning. They have that classic meet-cute when Fidelma starts to fall for some reason and Eadulf catches her, and there's like a frisson of attraction. This merits a full-on eyeroll. Then, Fidelma realizes he's a Saxon and a Roman Catholic, aka on the opposing side of the religious dispute (more on that later), and she makes up her mind to dislike him, Anne Shirley-stylez. Part of this decide-to-dislike is due to her unrecognized attraction to him. It's weird because she really doesn't realize that she's attracted to him, probably because she doesn't even know what attraction is or feels like. I know she's a nun, but come on. The book is full of her constantly Feeling Something around him, like the standard "flutter in the stomach", and each time she's like "What is this feeling? Why am I feeling this way? What does this mean?" Sis. (eyeroll) Also she isn't pleased at being saddled with him for an investigation partner, although she begrudgingly admits it makes sense for a Catholic to be attached to the murder investigation (she's Celtic), especially since the murder might have had a religious/political motive. Eadulf seems really disposed to like her because he's a nice friendly guy, but also probably because she's pretty. They do get on better and better throughout the book, learning to work together and ending it as friends about to do a roadtrip together to Rome. Theirs is that classic pairing of the headstrong genius + the buenaso easygoing supportive friend/bf. Overall, though, I do think it's super weird that the author pushed this romance angle on a nun and monk, even though I think the Celtic clergy were allowed to marry. Hopefully they're more platonic in the other books.

Also, Sister Fidelma is attractive. She's got flaming red hair with "rebellious strands" that are always coming out of her headdress, ooh la la. She's tall and statuesque with milky skin. Her eyes change color with her mood, blue to green and back again. WE GET IT, she's a Strong Female Character (and not very historically accurate). Ugh. I am so tired of heroines having to be pretty. Why does she have to be pretty? Why is her appearance at all important? Wouldn't it have been more interesting if she were plain? (Yes.) Being the hero/ine doesn't mean the character has to be pretty. Being smart doesn't mean she has to be pretty. Being a woman doesn't mean she has to be pretty! I am sick of this. Give us someone us normies can look up to! Also, if she's a like forensic genius and she's pretty, it makes the character less plausible and can veer into Mary Sue area. I guess when a man is writing such a character it's less self-insert and more "this is my dream woman". Think about it. Gorgeous and brilliant and religious and spirited and chaste/innocent? Eyeroll. She does have flaws, though, such as her headstrongness and stubbornness. In a way those help her with her investigations, though, so. Anyway this sort of thing is lazy writing.

On to the mystery. SPOILERS AHEAD. Abbess Étain is a dear friend of Sister Fidelma, so she's shocked and grieved when AE is murdered. As Fidelma and Eadulf get closer to catching the villain, more people keep getting killed. I had only 2 suspects in mind around the middle the book, until one of them was found dead. Then a clue was dropped: quotes from Sappho in Greek were found with two of the bodies, which was a dead giveaway for the killer. As soon as I saw the name Sappho, I immediately remembered that Abbess Étain had an assistant nun, Sister Gwid, who loved Greek poetry and was totally gangly, awkward, overly tall, and hero-worshipped the Abbess. Obviously Sappho poetry + hero-worshipping a woman = lesbian. It turns out that Gwid was in love with the Abbess and gave her Sappho quotes, neither of which the Abbess was thrilled about. When Gwid found out that the Abbess was going to marry a man, she flipped out and killed her. Then she killed the others to keep her secret from coming out. I don't really like this because 1) homophobic stereotypes much? and 2) this was lazily written and most people who read this book, per Amazon, got who the killer was like halfway through the book. It was pretty obvious, what with Sappho. Also, I didn't like that Gwid's hideous personal appearance was constantly being remarked upon whenever she was in the scene. Her giant hands, her tall stooped height, her awkward limbs, etc. Why does she have to be ugly? Why does the villain have to be ugly? Why does the lesbian have to be ugly and mannish? Why does the lesbian have to be the villain? Gwid being besotted with the Abbess and then getting murderously jealous is a homophobic trope. There's also a monk in this book who is effeminate, looks up through his eyelashes at whoever is talking to him, speaks with a lilting high pitched voice, and is a magpie, stealing pretty/shiny things. I mean?? Why all the gay stereotypes, Tremayne? This, too, was lazy writing. END SPOILERS

Anyway, I enjoyed this book, despite being frustrated with the villain, characterization, homophobia, and the synod arguments. I would recommend this book if you have a high tolerance for infodumps, lazy writing, and religious topics.

The cover kind of gets the feel of the book, with its medieval architecture (sweet qua-trefoil window) and candle. I'm not sure if the architecture is period appropriate, but at least it's not Gothic. My favorite cover is this one, even though she's wearing a monk's robe and I'm pretty sure nuns wore different habits. I like the Kells-ish patterns. The one in the Amazon page is pretty good too. Nice Irish font use.

Score: 3.4 out of 5 stars
Read in: early February
From: free books rack at the library
Format: paperback
Status: put back on the free books rack at the library

Book review: Murder at the Library of Congress by Margaret Truman

I was browsing the free books racks at the library yet again when this book caught my eye. Obviously I am interested in anything having to do with the Library of Congress. Murder at the Library of Congress is one of Margaret Truman's Capital Crimes series of mysteries, presumably set in Washington DC. The book's summary, from Amazon:

In the depths of the U.S. Library of Congress toil thousands of researchers, chasing down obsessions, breakthroughs, and new contributions to human wisdom. But when amateur D.C. sleuth Annabel Reed-Smith enters this stately American institution, she discovers a hornet’s nest of intrigue and murder.
After a renowned scholar is bludgeoned to death among the scholarly stacks, an ambitious TV reporter links the case to the heist of a Spanish painting from a Miami museum and a killing in Mexico City. Annabel suspects that buried in the Library are secrets some people will do anything to keep silent–the secret of a rich man’s ambition, a researcher’s disappearance, and a mysterious diary of Christopher Columbus’s journey written five hundred years ago.

Anyway, the book sounded interesting enough, so I gave it a try. I liked the descriptions of the Library of Congress. It is my dream to visit it someday, and I'm somewhat bitter that no one in my family thought of taking me there on my 3 trips to Washington DC as a child/teen. It sounded like Ms. Truman did a good job of bringing the LoC and its myriad rooms and researchers to life, and it made me really want to visit ASAP. I also liked the Columbus/Mesoamerican angle, as that is my heritage. The protagonist, Annabel, owns a gallery of pre-Columbian art and is researching the possible diaries of Bartolome de las Casas, an actually real person I am shocked to learn exists and had a very interesting life. This book says he was on the ships with Cristobal Colon (Christopher Columbus in English) and wrote diaries about his experiences, but there is no mention of that in his Wikipedia article, so Truman probably made it up.

This mystery was ok, but the writing was pretty bad and cliche. The dialogue was wooden and unnatural, I had that started-a-series-in-the-middle feeling of confusion, and the women characters sounded like a mediocre male writer had written them. Lots of telling but not showing. There was more character development in the Wikipedia article I linked to above. In an attempt to flesh out the characters, there was this whole thing about Annabel's older husband needing a total knee replacement that he kept putting off because of male stubbornness and illogicalness, and in the end he had the surgery  anyway. Why. No one cares. The first/main victim was an egotistical, sexist jerk who deserved to be killed. I felt bad for the archival equipment what was used for the murder weapon, though. *archivist feels*

There were some subplots who only served to obfuscate the main one. I really felt that the angle of a possible hidden treasure map on the back of an old painting was promising and interesting, but I don't think it went anywhere, because I don't remember what happened. It was attached to the second most important plot, that of the guy who stole the painting in Miami. Again, no one cared. There was another subplot about one of the female workers at the LoC having a stalker and getting heavy breathing calls. It ended up having nothing to do with the murder, and it was "resolved" by a higher up having the offending employee (who outranked her) apologize to her! Like WTF!! That's not how you handle sexual harassment in the workplace!!!

 The ending was pretty abrupt. The killer revealed herself in a really stupid way. Publisher's Weekly agrees with me: "A clue to the murderer is tipped clumsily; the discovery of the killer's identity comes as something of an anticlimax..." (on the Amazon page linked to above). The body count was maybe about 3 people? idk, I wasn't invested. They called churros a DONUT, you guys. A @#%*ING DONUT!!!! Every time I think about it I am filled with Mexican rage. Ese culerismo, te digo.

I'd say read this only if you're going to be trapped somewhere, like on a plane, and the only other books are the Fifty Shades of Gray series or equivalent.

Score: 3 out of 5 stars
Read in: late January-early February
From: free books rack at the library
Format: paperback
Status: put back on the free books rack at the library

Book Review: The Summer Sisters by Judy Blume

This review contains a ton of spoilers since I just really want to talk about this book.

I have a Google spreadsheet where I keep track of the books I've read, and after reading this one I wrote "sad, emotionally wringing, gay" in the notes section. That basically sums up this book, Summer Sisters by Judy Blume. This author  is one of the iconic authors of childhood and adolescence. Judy is most famous for Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret, which is about a 13 year old girl who is grappling with puberty, friends, school, boys, and religion. I don't think I've read any other author write about growing up and puberty and sexuality and being a girl in that liminal stage the way Judy does. It's frank, honest, doesn't shy away from reality, and feels true even if you personally didn't go through any of those things yourself.

Summer Sisters is told from the perspective of Victoria, who made the friendship of a lifetime one day in the sixth grade when popular, rich Caitlin decided she liked her. From then on, Vix (as Caitlin calls her) spends her summers with Caitlin's family at Martha's Vineyard, and her life is changed forever. Caitlin's family is rich, interesting, and carefree, all things Vix's family is not, and Vix finds herself wishing she could be part of that life forever, infatuated with both Caitlin and the island. Caitlin's stepmother encourages Vix to pursue more rigorous studies and scholarships and go to Harvard, all things she would have never considered if she had never become "summer sisters" with Caitlin. Vix's working-class family resents this and feels they are losing their daughter/sister. The book, which takes place in the late seventies, eighties, and nineties, follows the girls through puberty, adolescence and entering the workforce, but it is the girls' feelings towards and about each other that the story hinges on.

Vix and Caitlin's friendship is intense and complicated, with each girl envying the other and thinking the other prettier, but it's not just about frenemies and competition. The girls experiment with each other and are basically on some level in love with each other, and this, coupled with their respective envy, competition, and low self-esteem, creates an unhealthy dynamic that lasts throughout their whole lives. One could argue that everything the flighty, irresponsible and irresistible Caitlin does as an older teenager and adult is to both entice Vix and show her that Caitlin is just fine without her, while everything the quiet, dependable and self-effacing Vix does is to prove herself worthy of Caitlin and her family and the chance they took inviting her into their lives.

The other people in their lives are aware of their obsession with each other, although they only see the girls' relationship as a toxic friendship or being frenemies. The physical experimentation only lasts a short time, with both girls pursuing at their own respective times relationships and sex with men. As teenagers, Caitlin and the older island boys she and Vix are dating introduce Vix to pot, and Caitlin with the support of the boys tricks the stoned Vix into making out with Caitlin's boyfriend. This foreshadows the climactic revelation of the book, which is that Vix's boyfriend Bru has been in a love triangle with the two friends, as Caitlin has sex with him as a teen when Vix starts dating him and later marries him as an adult even though she is fully aware that Vix is/will always be in love with him, that he was her first and the love of her life. Both of these instances show that Caitlin is trying to get as sexually close to Vix as possible: "I can't have her so I'll have her first love." I wish they would have just talked to each other and been honest about their feelings, even if they didn't end up getting together. I know it was the 1970s-90s, but still. It's clear that Caitlin knows what her feelings are towards Vix, what with the boyfriend swapping and, at one point as a young adult, embellishing a story about becoming a lesbian for political reasons and having a jealous female lover, clearly to try to get a reaction out of Vix and see if it piques her interest/jealousy. Vix seems to have never heard of bisexuality, as she takes in their history and her feelings without really realizing what the pull between them means. The sex scenes in this book are frank and explicit.

Their relationship is never really resolved, and the book has Vix end up with a nice stable guy (the childhood friend of Caitlin's brother, who was sort of a "summer brother"; they all grew up together, a nice parallel). This relationship's purpose is to pair Vix off and make her happy; it has none of the feelings or fire of the relationships Vix had with Caitlin or even Bru. Shortly after the friends spend their 30th birthdays together in Italy (romantic much?), Caitlin is lost at sea and presumed dead, an appropriately dramatic death, and one that the book suggests she planned. While she is generally a brat, usually selfish, and kind of a monster, I do not see Caitlin with all her pain as the true villain in this book: heteronormativity and homo/biphobia are.

"Caitlin isn't someone to get over. She's someone to come to terms with, the way you have to come to terms with your parents, your siblings. You can't deny they ever happened. You can't deny you ever loved them, love them still, even if loving them causes you pain." 

Cover notes: this book's cover with its beach chairs made this look like a light summer beach read, which it was not. If you look closely, however, the title font, its color, and the shading and background position of the second beach chair give you a sort of eerie apprehension so subtle it barely registers. Does the overturned beach chair in the shadows represent Vix, as Caitlin is the one who gets the most attention? Or is it Caitlin, who, unable to stand in Vix's light, plunges herself into darkness? None of the other covers of this book tie in with the story either; they in fact look even lighter and beachy-er.

Score: 3.9 out of 5 stars
Read in: early-late January
From: free books rack at the library
Format: paperback
Status: tentatively keeping